


In A Room Of Empty Bottles

by writeforthefandom



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Blood, Bruises, Crying, Drinking, Flashbacks, Heartbreak, Hurt, Kidnapping, Nightmares, Recovery, Whips, Wounds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-11
Updated: 2019-08-19
Packaged: 2020-03-01 01:09:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 24
Words: 55,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18789958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writeforthefandom/pseuds/writeforthefandom
Summary: Warning: Though this has a happy ending (if I finish writing it), it will be graphic. So don't like it, don't read it.Magnus woke up from the ringing of his phone. He grabbed the device and answered the call without looking at the ID.“Yes?”“Magnus?”Magnus shot up into a seated position, alarmed. It was Alec, but he sounded different. He sounded in pain, and upset. It hadn’t happened often that Alec was upset, so something must be terribly wrong for him to call this late and be this upset.“Alexander,” Magnus said, using some magic to get himself properly dressed. “Where are you? What’s wrong?”“Slow down,” Alec mumbled. “You need to come and get me. My runes aren’t working and I don’t know what to do…”The pain in Alec’s voice hurt Magus more than he could have imagined.“Sure, where are you?”





	1. Chapter 1

As a shadow the creature moved through New York City. Its armour was strong, and its pincers were looking for its next victim. The shax demon had been summoned by a warlock, and then it had managed to escape the warlock’s grasp, allowing it to roam free through the city in search of a victim to lay its eggs in and breed more demons like it. The mundanes were unaware though, going about their lives as evening fell over the mighty city. Rain poured down, so mundanes held umbrellas above their heads to keep themselves from getting wet. Most were going home, some were doing some late-night shoppings. It wasn’t busy on the streets, so there were fairly little victims to choose from.

On its heels was a shadowhunter, quick and nimble moving about to find a perfect opportunity to take down the demon. Alec was alone, other shadowhunters were resting. He'd gotten tired of being Inquisitor after a while, and he and Magnus moved back to New York. There, Izzy was now head of the New York Institute and Alec had returned as second in command. He was glad to be back home, he had missed it. He also didn't mind having less responsibilities, and more time for Magnus. But he had sent Izzy to bed early, she'd been working too hard as of lately. And just when he had been about to head to bed, an alarm came in of a demon roaming the streets of the city. Having no back-up, he had grabbed his weapons and left in a hurry.

No back-up was dangerous though, so he was careful. Alec pulled an arrow from his back holder and laid it on his bow as he edged ever so closely to the demon. He had to be careful not to be smelled, so he stayed out of the wind as best as he could. Finally, the opportunity came and Alec aimed, then released. The arrow hit where he wanted it to, and the demon died. He smiled, relaxing now that the demon had been dealt with. He took a deep breath, took out his phone and checked the time. It was almost 1am, time to get back to the Institute and get some rest.

Alec decided to take a shortcut, going through one of the many alleys New York had to offer. The rain dripped down his hair. He was soaked, and ready to get back to the facility, take a long hot bath and go to sleep. Magnus was probably still awake, waiting for him. He almost always was.

Suddenly his vision went entirely dark. He could feel himself fall down to the ground as pain shot down from his head to his spine. Alec was confused, disoriented and in pain. He felt himself be rolled onto his belly and his arms be tied up behind his back. He struggled weakly, his body fighting hard against whatever hit him. His vision was blurry, his ears ringing. The rain still beating down on him, and his attacker.

Suddenly, he felt hands work down his pants.

“Hey, stop it,” Alec slurred, again struggling against his attacker. But it was no use. A piece of tape covered his mouth and kept him quiet. With his hands behind his back, there was no way for him to remove it. No way to contact anyone, or to stop whatever was happening.

“Shut up,” his attacker said. The voice was deep, definitely male. “You’re going to be good and lay still while I deal with you. Not that you can do anything about it.” The man laughed.

Alec shook his head and struggled again. This earned him a harsh slap against his face. He groaned, closed his eyes and focused on his breathing instead. He knew his parabatai, Jace, could feel something was wrong. And he could only hope that he would be in time to save him. 

His knees were forced under him before they were spread. Hands on his ass cheeks made him shake, tears stinging at the corners of his eyes. He tried his best to keep himself together. But knowing what was about to happen, he found it hard.

Pain erupted then, as the man forced himself inside Alec. He cried out, muffled by the tape. Tears escaped, he couldn’t help but cry. He tried to think of Magnus, tried to think of happy moments, just to endure this hell as best as he could. But the pain was overwhelming. Alec felt nauseous as time went on, unable to do anything against his attacker. All he could do was lay there and let it happen, and he hated it. Alec was strong, this wasn’t supposed to happen. He didn’t understand how he could have been ambushed like that, how he couldn’t have seen it coming. 

Time went on, it took too long for his liking. The pain lessened, but it didn’t become less traumatic. Alec was breathing harsh by now, exhausted. Why wasn’t Jace here yet? He must be feeling the pain as well, that something was terribly wrong. But it took too long.

And then the pain became a whole lot less. The man bend over Alec. “You’re adorable like this, we should do this more often.” A chuckle.

Alec shuddered and shook his head. But he was still unable to talk. A hand grabbed his hair and pulled him up, Alec took a deep breath as pain coursed through his body with every movement. 

The tape was torn from his lips. Alec looked up at his attacker, but because it was so dark, he couldn’t see anything. The rain finally stopped. Alec was shivering, cold, wet, exhausted and in a tremendous amount of pain. 

Lips were on his own. He tried to pull back, but it was no use. His attacker had a tight grip on his hair, keeping his head in place. Alec gagged, getting physically sick from what was happening to him. The lips moved away and a flat hand hit his cheek, his head snapping to the other side.

Another hit, this time a knee against his ribs. Alec collapsed, curling up as well as he could to try and defend his body from the hits. The kicks kept coming, adding to the pain already throbbing through his body. And then it stopped.

Alec stayed still, waiting for a remark, hand in his hair, another kick. But nothing came. He slowly raised his head and looked around, but there was nowhere to be seen. He tried his hands, and the binds that had kept them together came loose. Alec brought his hands in front of him and gently rubbed his painful wrists. Then he felt around for his pants.  
He quickly found it and pulled out his phone. He unlocked it, and dialled the first number he could.

Magnus woke up from the ringing of his phone. He grabbed the device and answered the call without looking at the ID.

“Yes?”

“Magnus?”

Magnus shot up into a seated position, alarmed. It was Alec, but he sounded different. He sounded in pain, and upset. It hadn’t happened often that Alec was upset, so something must be terribly wrong for him to call this late and be this upset.

“Alexander,” Magnus said, using some magic to get himself properly dressed. “Where are you? What’s wrong?”

“Slow down,” Alec mumbled. “You need to come and get me. My runes aren’t working and I don’t know what to do…”

The pain in Alec’s voice hurt Magus more than he could have imagined. 

“Sure, where are you?”

Alec told Magnus his location and three seconds later, the male appeared through a portal. Alec had managed to get his jeans back on, and had tried to heal himself with his stele, but it hadn’t worked, obviously. Instead, he was still in a lot of pain.

“Alexander,” Magnus got down on his knees in front of his lover and looked at him. He could see a few of the forming bruises on his face. Anger boiled up inside of him. Whoever did this to his lover would pay.

“Magnus,” Alec mumbled. He looked at Magnus, flinched when the warlock moved in to hug him. “Please don’t,” Alec whispered, fear in his voice. He knew Magnus would never hurt him, but the thought of being touched right now made him want to throw up.

“I just want to go home,” he whispered.

“Okay,” Magnus said. He got up and formed another portal.

Alec got up slowly. It took him a lot of effort to get up, the pain making him sluggish. He walked through the portal, and was closely followed behind by Magnus. They appeared in Magnus his apartment.

“Alexander, what happened to you?” Magnus asked, worried.

Alec shook his head. He really didn’t want to tell him about it, didn’t want to tell anyone about it. The fact that it had happened was bad enough. No one needed to know about this.

“You need to tell me,” Magnus pressed. He needed to know, because whoever did whatever to Alec needed to pay, and Magnus wanted to make sure that happened.  
Alec swallowed and turned around, looking at Magnus. He wrapped his arms around his chest and took a few steps back. “I was attacked,” he whispered. Tears formed in his eyes again. “He uhm…” Alec shook his head and looked down. “I was raped.”

It was whispered so softly Magnus almost missed it. But he heard it anyway, and his heart broke into a million little pieces as he watched the strong man he knew crumble into an emotional mess. “Oh Alexander,” he said, wanting nothing more than to wrap his lover in his arms and just hold him as he cried. But he knew Alec didn’t want to be hugged right now.

“Don’t tell anyone,” Alec said, looking up at Magnus. “You need to promise me that you won’t tell anyone. No one needs to know about this.”  
“Okay,” Magnus promised. “Let me look at your injuries.”

Alec shivered and nodded. He slowly pulled off his shirt, revealing the red marks that would form into bruises littered across his chest.  
Magnus stared intently, taking in each and every fresh bruise, burning them inside his head so that if he came across Alec’s attacker, he knew exactly what to say and how to punish him.

Alec looked down, ashamed. 

“Let me try and heal you,” Magnus said. He wished he could do something for Alec, but his lover seemed to take some distance.

“Okay,” Alec whispered. He sat down in a chair and closed his eyes.

Magnus moved his hands and focused all of his magic on Alec, trying to heal all of the injuries he had. But something was stopping him of doing it. His magic hit a wall. Magnus frowned, stopping, and looked at Alec.

“It’s not working.”

Alec sighed. “My stele wasn’t either,” he mumbled. “He must have done something to me,” Alec said.

Magnus clenched his fists, took a deep breath and forced himself to calm down. “Maybe someone at the Institute can help you.”

“No!” Alec said, panicked. No one could know, he needed some time away from the Institute to heal from his injuries. He didn’t want anyone seeing him like this, especially not his sister, Izzy. It would devastate her and she wouldn’t stop asking questions until she knew what had happened.

No, no one could know.

“Okay,” Magnus said, putting his hands up in defeat. “Okay.”

“I’m going to shower,” Alec said, slowly getting up. He left Magnus and found his way to the bathroom. There he locked the door, undressed, turned the shower on and stepped underneath it. He closed his eyes and let his back lean against the wall, feeling weak, still. He was definitely unsteady on his legs, and he needed to be careful not to collapse.

Magnus stayed put, trying to wrap his mind around the past few minutes. His lover had been raped. Alec, someone so strong and amazing, was now a chaotic mess. And there was nothing he could do, because Alec didn’t allow him to help him. His magic hit a sort of blockage, disabling him from helping Alec heal his physical injuries. He hated this, hated feeling this powerless. Alec must feel even worse, though. And Magnus wondered if Alec would be able to deal with this and move on. And how long it would take.

He heard the bathroom door open and Magnus slowly made his way over to the bathroom. Alec appeared from it, wrapped in a towel. He ducked his head, hiding his face from Magnus, and quickly fled to the bedroom. There he changed into underwear and a tshirt.

“I’m going to sleep,” Alec announced.

Magnus nodded, watching Alec climb into bed. His lover drifted off quickly. Not surprising, it was close to morning by now. Magnus stood there in the door opening, watching the male sleep, the rise and fall of his chest reminding him that Alec was still alive and thus would be fine, eventually.


	2. Chapter 2

Magnus continued to stand there for a while, watching Alec sleep. He seemed so peaceful now, unlike a few hours ago. But he was worried for his lover, because what happened was nothing short of severely traumatic. Alec was such a strong person, but now he was reduced to an emotional mess. Something Magnus hadn’t thought he’d see again so soon. 

He sighed, realised there was nothing he could do for now. So he left, deciding not to crawl into bed with Alec. His husband may not appreciate it. Instead, he found himself sitting down in a chair in the living room and drifting off to sleep.

_Alec was struggling against the binds that kept his hands behind his back. This couldn’t be happening, not to him. He was too strong to have this happen to him._

_“No! Please stop,” Alec begged, desperate._

Magnus woke up several hours later. He could hear mumbling from the bedroom, so he got up and made his way over to the room. Alec was still asleep, but mumbling.

“No no no no,” Alec mumbled in his sleep. “Don’t do this, stop, please!”

Magnus quickly approached and crawled into bed. He wrapped Alec in his arms and held him. “Hey, it’s okay,” he said, hoping his voice would soothe Alec. “It’s just a nightmare. You’re safe now.”

Alec relaxed, and then he woke up, tears streaming down his face. He looked up at Magnus, quickly wiped his tears away and moved away, sitting up. He rubbed his eyes and held his head, feeling even more exhausted than before he went to bed.

They sat there in silence. Magnus wasn’t sure what to say. Seeing Alec like this hurt. He wanted to take it all away, the memories, the pain. Everything. But he couldn’t. 

“I’m sorry,” Alec said softly, looking up at Magnus again. “I’m sorry for letting this happen.”

“Don’t be silly,” Magnus said. He took in Alec’s face. The left side of his face was now bruised, a big dark purple spot beneath his eye with a yellowish hue around it. He couldn’t imagine how much that hurt.

“No, it’s my fault. I should have asked for some back-up. This wouldn’t have happened then.” Alec bit down on his trembling lips and swallowed. He could hear his attacker’s laugh ringing through his ears. The hands roaming and touching where they never should have. It made him feel sick, made him want to throw up. How could he have let this happen to him?

Magnus took Alec’s hand, felt the other male freeze. “Alexander, this is in no way your fault. What happened to you… It’s traumatic. It’s going to take time. But I’m here to help you through every step of the way.”

Alec looked up at Magnus. He couldn’t understand how Magnus could be so supportive of him. He was dirty, stained. He could shower as much as he’d like and he would still be dirty. And yet Magnus didn’t seem to think of him like that. But he could see the pity, and he hated that. He didn’t want to be pitied.

Then his phone rang. Alec looked at the caller ID and swallowed. He answered the call.

“Alec? By the angel, where are you?” Izzy sounded worried.

“I’m at Magnus his place,” Alec answered.

“Why haven’t you come to the Institute?” 

Alec sighed. “I need some time off,” he mumbled. He didn’t want Izzy to find out about this. Didn’t want anyone else to know what happened to him.

“Alec, what’s wrong?” Izzy was even more worried now. “I’m coming over. I’ll be there in a few.” She hung up without waiting for Alec’s answer.

Alec paled, panicking. Izzy couldn’t see him like this. Couldn’t see the bruises, couldn’t see how fragile and upset he was at the moment.

Magnus placed a hand on Alec’s shoulder. “Hey, let me help you,” he said softly. “Izzy will understand, she’ll help you, too.”

Alec looked at Magnus and tears slipped down his face once more. This was all getting too much. But there was nothing he could do now. Izzy was coming over anyway. He didn’t want to hide the truth about what happened, but he didn’t want her to know. He didn’t want to tell her.

“Okay,” he said, looking at Magnus.

The warlock leaned in and wiped his husband’s tears away. “I’m going to be here for you, always. I love you, Alexander.”

And once more, Alec wanted to burst into tears. He closed his eyes and nodded. “I love you too,” he said. 

“Let’s get you dressed,” Magnus proposed.

Alec nodded, slowly getting out of bed. He was sore and in pain. He still didn’t know why his runes weren’t working, and why Magnus couldn’t heal him. He hated it. Magnus helped him get dressed, just in time before Izzy rang the doorbell. Alec took a seat in the living room and looked down.

Magnus opened the door. Izzy and Jace had come together. They walked in, and Magnus closed the door.

The moment they saw the bruise covering Alec’s face, they crowded him. “Alec, what happened?” Jace asked, worried. 

“Guys,” Magnus said. “Give him some space,” he said. 

Jace and Izzy looked at Magnus, then moved back a bit. They each took a seat as well, and then silence surrounded them. Alec was trying to find the words to tell them what happened, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t tell them what had happened. What if they thought he was disgusting, or weak? What if they thought he was pathetic? A bad shadowhunter? He would lose his second in command place at the Institute.

“What happened?” Izzy asked, worried. “We’re worried, Alec. When you didn’t show up at the Institute. Your parabatai rune wouldn’t let us track you, either.”

Alec swallowed and looked at Magnus. He couldn’t tell them, but he knew they wouldn’t take a fake answer. They will know if he lied.

“Alexander was attacked, last night,” Magnus explained.

Izzy and Jace looked at Magnus. 

“He uhm… He was sexually assaulted by someone, who must have done something to block his runes and my magic. I can’t heal him, either.” Magnus watched the shocked expressions on their faces.

“Alec…” Jace looked at Alec. He was at a loss for words, knowing what had happened to his best friend, his brother. That someone could have hurt him like that. It had him speechless, and boiling with anger.

“Who did this to you?” Izzy asked, covering her arms over her chest. This was not good, and whoever did this needed to pay. His runes also needed to be checked out, if even Magnus couldn’t heal him. It hurt to see her brother like this, and she wished there was something she could do to take away the pain that he was in. 

“I don’t know,” Alec admitted. He hated not knowing who did this, he hated that he let this happen. “I’m sorry. I don’t know how I could have let this happen…”

“Alec, this is not your fault,” Izzy said. “We’ll find him and he’ll be dealt with accordingly. I promise. He won’t be getting away with this.”

Alec shrugged, almost uncaring. Of course he cared, but he’d already shown too much sensitivity. They couldn’t think he was weak. Even if he was at the moment.

“Alec, we should examine you at the Institute. Maybe we can find out what is blocking your runes and Magnus his magic,” Izzy said. “This sounds real serious and we need to find a solution.”

Alec shook his head. “No,” he said. “No one else can know about this. I’ll be fine, I just need some time,” he said, getting up. He started pacing around the room, feeling panicked. This wasn’t going as he had planned. Especially not with the wedding anniversary coming up. He and Alec should be celebrating and now, Alec ruined it all because he hadn’t been careful enough. It was his own stupid fault. No one needed to pity him.  
Izzy sighed, watching her brother pace through the room. Seeing in how much of a panicked state he was. She looked at Magnus, who looked as upset and worried. 

“Okay,” she said, slowly getting up. 

Alec froze, watching his sister as she got up. He bit down on his bottom lip. “Just give me a few days and I’ll be as fine as always,” he said. 

“Alright,” Izzy said and nodded. She saw Jace wanted to disagree, but a stern glance and he shut his mouth. 

Jace got up as well. He wished he could help Alec, but it seemed Alec didn’t want to be helped. And on one hand, he could understand. What Alec must be going through must be so incredibly hard, but on another, they were family. Jace always went to him with his troubles, and Alec generally did as well. But not now. He just hoped that Magnus was enough for Alec to get him through it.

“Alright, we’re going again,” Izzy announced. 

Magnus brought them to the door. 

“Keep us updated,” Izzy whispered to Magnus, who nodded.

Magnus closed the door once they were gone and turned back to Alec, who had sat down again. He walked over to his husband, and sat down beside him. “You’re going to be okay,” he said, taking Alec’s hand. 

Alec nodded, looking at Magnus. He pulled his hand back though, and sighed. “I just… I feel so dirty, so disgusting. His hands are still there, roaming and touching. He’s still hurting me even though he’s not here. Even though he’s gone.”

“You’ll just need to work through it,” Magnus said. “And let us help. We’re here for you, we care about you. I know it may seem hard right now to accept help, and as long as you won’t I’ll leave you be. But I’m here for you. I love you, Alexander. I don’t want to see you like this.”

Alec teared up and looked down. He felt guilty for making Magnus feel like that. He didn’t mean to hurt anyone, especially not his husband. He needed to get over himself. He looked up at Magnus. “I love you too, Magnus.” He forced a smile. Then he got up.

“We need to plan our wedding anniversary,” Alec said.

“We do,” Magnus said, sounding a bit brighter. He got up as well. “What do you have in mind?”

“Something simple, easy.” Alec looked at Magnus, and took his hand. He really hated being touched right now, but he wanted to at least make an effort to try and seem okay. “Just some nice dinner probably.”

“We can do that,” Magnus said and smiled. “We can make a trip, too. Perhaps to Paris? Or Sydney. Or wherever you’d like.”

Alec considered it, thinking about it. “Yeah, Paris sounds nice,” he said, taking a step closer. He was on edge, but he needed to push through these feelings. He didn’t need to be so weak, he could do this. He was a grown man, he knew Magnus would never do anything to hurt him.

“Then Paris it is.” Magnus smiled. Normally, he’d lean in for a kiss, but he wasn’t so sure if Alec could appreciate a kiss right now. So he didn’t, just smiled. He was already glad that Alec held his hand and stood as close as he did, considering the situation.

Alec smiled as well. He let go and took a step back. “Thank you,” he said. He was glad Magnus was as understanding and as kind as he was. He knew he was lucky with the man, even though they had a few worries sometimes. Like Magnus was never going to grow old, but Alec was. Alec was going to die at some point, whereas Magnus would continue to live on. Alec wondered if Magnus could, but only time could tell.

For now, all he wanted to focus on was the good things, the good memories they had made and were making. Nothing could separate them. Alec absolutely loved Magnus and never wanted to live without him, ever. He couldn’t survive without him.

He remembered being terrified that Magnus was never going to come back from Edom after proposing to him. The kiss Magnus wouldn’t give because he knew there was a very real chance that he may never walk the Earth’s plane again. But Alec found a way back to Magnus and together they came back to Earth, got married almost instantly too. He remembered marrying Magnus, smiling.

“What are you smiling at?” Magnus asked, curious. He cocked his head to the side.

“Oh, I just remembered how amazing our wedding was,” Alec admitted, a blush covering his cheek. “I remembered just how good you looked in a tux.”

Magnus grinned. “You didn’t look so bad yourself,” he said. “It’s a very successful combination, Alexander in a tux.”

Alec ducked his head, but smiled. He knew he looked good in a tux, but hearing it from his husband was always something special to hear. He looked up at Magnus and stepped in close, wrapping his arms around the warlock. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Magnus hugged the shadowhunter back, and smiled brightly. For a moment all seemed normal again, as if last night never even happened. They enjoyed their hug, Alec just closing his eyes and breathing in magnus his smell, soaking in his warmth. Magnus enjoyed the closeness, that Alec seemed to be accepting of a hug was amazing to him right now. They stood there, in each other’s arms, quiet and peaceful.


	3. Chapter 3

Alec was the first to let go and take a step back. He looked at Magnus, feeling a bit better, even though he was still exhausted and everything was still so fresh in his memories. He started feeling insecure again, and looked down. He still didn’t understand how this could have possibly happened to him. But he hated it, for sure.

“Alexander,” Magnus said, “you need to eat.”

Alec nodded, and together they went to the kitchen. He wasn’t hungry, at all. And he questioned if he could even keep it in. But he had to try, at least. For Magnus more than for himself.

Magnus cooked him up some breakfast. Nothing too light, nothing too heavy. Something to give him some energy. He served it to Alec and smiled.

Alec took a few bites before he already started feeling nauseous. He smiled weakly at Magnus. “Thank you, Magnus. But I’m not that hungry,” he said. He looked down, not wanting to know how disappointed his husband was.

“It’s okay,” Magnus said. “You took a few bites, that’s what mattered.” 

Magnus wished he could help Alec better, but he knew he shouldn’t push. Alec was prone to push him away, even after all this years. Because a life’s worth of training could do that to a person. So he put away the rest of the food. Perhaps for later.

Alec yawned. He was tired. He had difficulty sleeping. Nightmares had terrorised him throughout the night. 

“I’m going to get some sleep,” Alec said, and looked up at Magnus.

Magnus nodded, watching his husband retreat to the bedroom. He sighed, walking back to the living room and sitting down. He buried his face in his hands, fingers curling and grasping the short strands of hair on his head. He closed his eyes and let all of the past few days events go through his head. How he found Alec, how his magic didn’t work, and neither did Alec’s stele with his runes. He felt so powerless. He hated feeling powerless. He was a very powerful warlock and yet somehow he couldn’t help his husband heal now that his husband needed it most. It sucked big time.

He was deadset on finding the person who did this to Alec, and make sure he got the justice he deserved. A painful death. Magnus didn’t like hurting people, but if he got his hands on that man, he was certain hurting him was going to feel so good. So much better than he was feeling right now.

The fact that the man was walking around freely right now disgusted him. He let go of his head and got up. He needed some fresh air. He grabbed his jacket and quietly left the apartment, not wanting to wake up or alert Alec.

Like a mundane, a better dressed, very fashionable mundane, he walked through the city. It was still early in the afternoon, the sun was shining. Magnus took in the surroundings, looked at every man passing by, wondering if it had been him who had hurt his lover so badly. He couldn’t get his mind of Alec’s hurt, of the bruises, the pain and fear in his voice. He clenched his fists, took a deep breath and forced himself to calm down. Being angry wasn’t helping him.

He strolled through the city mindlessly. He wasn’t aware of just how much time passed until his phone rang. He took it out of his pocket and looked at the caller ID. It was Alec.

“Hey Alexander,” he answered the phone.

“Magnus? Where are you?” 

Alec sounded panicked, scared. Magnus frowned. “I was just taking a walk. I’ll be home in a few seconds.” 

He made a portal and stepped through it. He appeared back into his apartment, and looked at his husband. “See, here I am,” he said as he hung up.

Alec put his phone down and nodded. “Yeah, sorry.” He felt ashamed of being so terrified when nothing had been wrong. Magnus was allowed to take a walk through the city, or go wherever he’d like. It wasn’t Alec’s business what his husband did.

“You’re fine,” Magnus said, taking a step closer. But Alec’s flinch made him stop. 

“I’m sorry,” Alec said. He didn’t feel like his self. He was too terrified, almost like a child. He felt fragile, vulnerable. He hated being like this. He wanted to go back to his usual self, back to a few days ago when everything was still normal. Tears burned at the corners of his eyes, body shaking as he tried to hold back his sobs. But he couldn’t, and broke down right there, his back sliding down against the kitchen counter as he sobbed.

Magnus slowly approached, and got down on his knees in front of Alec. He wrapped his arms around his crying lover, and Alec clung to him. Magnus let him cry, let his husband be vulnerable. Alec obviously needed it, and Magnus was always there to help him through whatever he was going through.

They sat like that for a good half an hour or so before Alec calmed down. He moved away from Magnus and wiped his tears. He felt even more exhausted now. 

Magnus helped him up. He could see that it was all weighing very heavy on his lover and he hated it. Once more he felt powerless, unable to do anything to help Alec through what he was going through. It was unfair. Life was unfair, even if he had already spent decades living it. Alec was going to die one day and Magnus was scared that he would forever be carrying the weight of his traumas. And that there was absolutely nothing that Magnus could possibly do to help him through it.

Alec looked up at Magnus and saw something was wrong. “Magnus, what’s wrong?” he asked. He didn’t want to see Magnus like this. He knew it was his fault and he hated it. He should have never taken a shortcut.

“I just…” Magnus sighed and looked at Alec. “I wish I could help you. I wish I could heal you, take away your traumas, your memories. So that you could move on, forget what happened and be happy again. I’m scared you’re forever going to carry these traumas and never return to your old self again.”

Alec swallowed and looked down. He fiddled with his thumbs as he tried to think of something to say. Of course he was scared about that too, but he didn’t want to show that. Even if he had broken down just now and cried for half an hour. Feeling this weak and vulnerable was nothing for him. But he couldn’t do anything about it. He would just have to deal with it for now.

“I know,” Alec said, looking back up at Magnus. “But I’ll get through this, I’ll become my old self again. It’s going to take time, lots of it maybe. And I hate that. But it is as it is, nothing can be changed now. And as long as you are with me, supporting me and helping me, I’m going to be fine. I’m sure of it. Because I love you, Magnus. I love you and without you I couldn’t live. You’re my everything and I’m sorry that I let this happen to me, that I had to be such a hard-headed soldier and go out alone even though it was risky. It’s my fault and you shouldn’t suffer because of it.”

Once more, Alec broke down in tears. Magnus wrapped his arms around him again and held him, held his husband as he sobbed once more. Hearing Alec’s worries, hearing the fear in his voice, it broke his heart. And he wasn’t entirely sure how to deal with it. They were supposed to be celebrating, and not crying. He held the sobbing boy against his chest, even if it ruined his shirt. It didn’t matter. All that mattered was that Alec needed him and Magnus was always going to be there for him.

Alec pulled away and wiped his tears. He took a deep breath and managed to calm down. “Thank you,” he said.

“Don’t thank me, Alexander. I’m your husband, it’s normal to be always be there for you.” Magnus smiled, hoping that Alec would feel a little better now.

“Lets just focus on the good things, for now. Like our wedding anniversary and our trip to Paris, and our dinner.” Magnus smiled, already cheering up at those thoughts.

“Yeah,” Alec said, smiling as well. “It’s going to be great,” he said. “Should we take Izzy and Jace with us?”

“Lets just keep it between us. We can always invite them for a dinner later,” Magnus said. He just wanted to spend some quality time with his husband.

“Okay,” Alec said. He smiled. “We should wear our tuxes.”

“We definitely should. I do quite entertain that idea,” Magnus said and chuckled. He definitely liked seeing Alec in a tux, because his husband looked so damn good in one. 

Alec smiled. He loved seeing Magnus in a tux. It was an amazing combination and he could never get enough of it. He also remembered his wedding night, remembering just how amazing it was. Even after they had lost Clary. Clary nowadays hung around every once in a while, but she still only remembered bits of pieces. They took it slow with her. After all the shit he had given her, she absolutely didn’t deserve what had happened to her.

But for now, he just wanted to focus on Magnus and their anniversary. He still felt so lucky to have married such an amazing man. Even if, at times, he worried about all the things that they were facing. Alec would age and die at some point, whereas Magnus would continue to live on without him. 

Magnus took Alec’s hands. “I love you, Alexander. We’re going to get through this, together.” 

“I know,” Alec said, and looked at Magnus. “You’re amazing. I’m so lucky.”

“I’m the lucky one,” Magnus said and laughed. “I’m lucky that I got to marry you, even though you were so stubborn at the beginning. I couldn’t have imagined we’d get married.”

“Me neither.” Alec blushed and ducked his head. “But when you showed up at my wedding… I couldn’t resist you any longer. I knew then that I needed to listen to my heart, even if it went against all expectations.”

“I’m very glad you did,” Magnus said and pressed a kiss against Alec’s forehead. “Nothing can keep us apart ever since. Not even this. Don’t ever doubt that, my love.”

“I won’t,” Alec promised. He looked at Magnus, taking in his face, his hair which was always on point. He smiled, he definitely was the luckiest man alive.

“Ah, it’s dinner time.” Magnus took Alec’s hand. “Want to go out for dinner? Or order in? Or I can just make us something.”

Alec thought about it. He didn’t really want to go outside. He was afraid that if he went outside and saw the man that did this to him, he’d once more had a mental breakdown. He really didn’t want that.

“Let’s just stay in for the night, and order something.” Alec looked at Magnus. “I’m not feeling so well.” 

Magnus nodded. He knew Alec must have also been feeling insecure, because the bruise on his face was very visible. He wondered if it hurt. It probably did, even if Alec would never admit it.

Alec gave a quick nod and sat down. Magnus ordered Alec’s favourite. Not too much later it arrived, and even though Alec didn’t eat too much, he at least ate something. He also saw that Alec was tired again, so after everything was cleaned up, Magnus sat down next to Alec. “You should go back to bed.”

Alec looked at Magnus. “Yeah,” he said. “I think I’m going to shower first, though.” 

Magnus nodded. “That’s okay,” he said.

Alec left to go shower. Magnus stayed where he was. He waited for Alec to finish showering, he could use one too. Normally, they would shower together as well. But he couldn’t ask that of Alec, not when everything was still so fresh, so recent. Not when his flashbacks were still so bad, when he was still so traumatised. No, he would let Alec take the lead in what to do and when. He didn’t want to push too far, even if Magnus really wanted him. 

Once Alec was done showering and had crawled into bed, Magnus went into the bathroom and closed the door. He turned the shower on, undressed and looked into the mirror. He hadn’t aged at all in the past few years, whereas Alec obviously had. Once more he was confronted with the fact that Alec was mortal, would die at some point. Magnus was immortal, he wouldn’t die unless he was killed. And he didn’t exactly plan on having that happen.

He stepped under the hot water and closed his eyes. Makeup ran down his face, and he washed it all off. Alec had always told him that he didn’t need any makeup. But Magnus liked it anyway, so he still used his magic to apply it. It made him feel a little more confident, even if he was already so confident. Alec would call him cocky sometimes.

Magnus chuckled, and turned to the wall. He washed himself, but took his time. He needed to relax, and a good hot shower could help him. Once he felt relaxed enough, he shut off the shower and dried himself off. He dressed in something comfortable and left the bathroom. Magnus checked the bedroom and saw Alec asleep. He seemed so peaceful now, and Alec smiled at that. He was glad to see his husband at peace, finally. Today had been tough on both of them.

He walked to the living room and laid down on the couch. He closed his eyes and quickly drifted off to sleep, exhausted.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for some angst. ;)

_Alec was back in the alley, taking a shortcut to the Institute. His vision blacked out all of a sudden, and he felt himself hit the ground beneath him. A she tried to regain his vision and strength, he was rolled onto his belly and his hands were secured behind his back. Alec frowned, trying to get them lose. “Hey, what are you doing?” he asked, trying to get himself free._

_His attacker leant over him, lips getting close to his ear. “Shut up, boy toy. Just stay still and enjoy.”_

_The voice sent a shiver down his spine. Hands were on his pants and his pants and underwear were worked down. Alec struggled against him, rolling onto his side. A harsh slap against his face stopped him, had him cry out. Shortly after duck tape covered his face, shutting him up and muffling his cries and his protests._

_Hands smoothed down his ass, squeezing it harshly. Alec swallowed hard, pain shooting up his spine. He breathed through his nose harshly, finding it hard to breathe properly. He wondered why Jace hadn’t showed up, he must be feeling that something was wrong._

_“Relax, pretty boy,” the man whispered, gently biting into Alec’s clothed shoulder. “The more you relax the better you’re going to experience this.”_

_Alec shook his head, tears streaming down his face. He tried to beg the man to stop. He didn’t want this, but the man didn’t care. Alec heard a belt buckle hit the ground, and not much later, he cried out in pain. He tried to move away, curl up, make himself unavailable for this. But it didn’t matter. The man had easily overpowered him and with his head still spinning and his hands tied behind his back, he was useless. There was nothing he could do to stop this._

_Alec endured as the man thrusted. He closed his eyes, thinking of Magnus, of Jace, Izzy. Thinking of good times, his wedding, kissing Magnus, being with him, being Inquisitor. It hurt, burned, distracted him from tuning out properly. The man was ruthless, hitting him, hurting him, giving him bruises all over his body. What would Magnus think if he saw him like this? Weakly laying there, not even struggling anymore. He was disgusting._

_The pain increased and Alec continued mumbling._

“No no,” Alec mumbled, covered in sweat and breathing harsh in his bed.

Magnus crawled into bed with him and gently took Alec in his arms. “Hey,” he said softly. “You’re okay, you’re safe.”

Alec gasped as he woke up, but Magnus kept holding him. Alec closed his eyes, body shaking, as he let the nightmare ebb away. He clung to Magnus, holding on to him tightly as he tried to calm himself down. He wasn’t sure how long he had slept, but it couldn’t have been long.

Finally he started calming down, breathing becoming slower. He kept his face buried in Magnus his shirt, not wanting Magnus to see him like this. It had been bad enough that Alec had broken down emotionally twice already.

“It’s okay,” Magnus said, gently rubbing Alec’s back. “You’re okay. You’re safe. It’s going to be okay, Alexander. I’m here, and I’ll always will be.” 

“I know,” Alec mumbled, fists holding on to Magnus his shirt. “I know, I’m sorry if I woke you up.”

“There is nothing to apologise for,” Magnus said, holding his husband a little tighter. “I get it, Alexander. We’ll work through this together.”

Alec swallowed, feeling tears burn at the edges of his eyes. He was quiet, and eventually drifted off back to sleep again.

Magnus held him, knowing he was asleep. He checked the time, it was the middle of the night. Alec really needed some decent sleep, so he hoped that holding his husband would help him sleep. He was tired too, he hadn’t gotten a lot of sleep either since stuff went down. So he closed his eyes and while holding Alec, he drifted off to sleep as well.

The smell of freshly brewed coffee had Magnus open his eyes. He found his arms empty, which he frowned upon. He didn’t like waking up to an empty bed. But the smell of coffee made him curious, so he stretched out his body, before getting out of bed and slowly wandering over to the kitchen.

“Alexander,” he said, making his presence known.

Alec turned to Magnus and offered a bright smile. A genuine smile. “Morning,” he said cheerily. “You want some coffee?”

“Yes,” Magnus replied and smiled back, glad to see his husband in better spirits than he had been. “What makes your mood so good this morning?”

“I just… I slept well, thanks to you.” Alec blushed, ducking his head as he poured Magnus a cup of coffee. He handed it to him.

Magnus laid a finger underneath Alec’s chin and raised it. “There’s no need to blush. I’m glad you slept well, Alexander. You really needed it.”

“Yeah,” Alec said and smiled. He took a sip of his coffee and walked with Magnus to the living room. There, they both sat down. 

They sipped their coffees until both cups were empty. Magnus looked at Alec, took in his appearance. The bruise on his face was becoming a little less, and Magnus was glad about that. Seeing the bruise reminded him off the horrors Alec had to go through. Alec wore one of his tshirts and sweats, covering up the rest of the bruises that Magnus knew he had. But he wouldn’t ask him about it.

“I’m going back to the Institute today,” Alec announced. He looked at Magnus, who seemed caught off guard. “I need to go back to work, focus on that. It’ll help me get over what happened.”

“Are you sure?” Magnus asked, worried. He wasn’t sure if Alec was healed enough to go back to work. And with his runes seemingly not working still, he feared for the boy. Besides that, Alec’s attacker was still out there, who knew what the man had planned. What if Alec bumped into him? Magnus wasn’t so sure.

“I’ll be fine,” Alec said, smiling at Magnus. “I just need the distraction.”

“Am I not distracting enough?” Magnus questioned, half joking, half serious.

Alec blushed again, a pink tint covering his cheeks. “You always are,” he said and chuckled. “But other kind of distractions. You know what I mean.”

“I do,” Magnus said. “Okay then. But you better keep me updated on what you’re doing. And no field work.”

“Magnus,” Alec mumbled, rolling his eyes.

“I’m serious, Alexander. Stay inside, inside the Institute, for now. At least until your injuries have healed properly and Izzy had made an assessment.” Magnus didn’t want Alec to do any field work in case his attacker had more plans for Alec. He couldn’t imagine losing his husband, and he wasn’t so sure he’d get Alec back in one piece if he stumbled upon the person that hurt him in such a horrible way.

“Okay,” Alec said, admitting defeat. “I will, I promise. Don’t worry so much, I can take care of myself.” He looked at Magnus, and saw the doubt and fear in his eyes. He knew it was risky to go out and back to work again, but he had to. He couldn’t sit at home for days, weeks, healing and constantly remembering what had happened. Alec needed distraction from it to move on. Needed to keep himself busy somehow, that he had no time to remember. Even if it had its risks. He just couldn’t stay inside all day and do absolutely nothing. That is not what he wanted. So even if Magnus only wanted him to work on reports, he would. Anything was better than just hanging around and staying in the past.

“I’m going to get dressed.” Alec stood up and walked to the bedroom, leaving Magnus behind.

Magnus continued to sit there, anxious. He couldn’t have guessed that he would have been so worried to have Alec go back to work. He should be happy that Alec was feeling up to it. And yet, Magnus was afraid. He had a bad feeling in his gut and those were generally true. But he couldn’t restrict his husband from doing the things he wanted to do. He never would.

Deciding he could use another cup of coffee, the warlock got up and made his way over to the kitchen. He poured himself another cup and nursed it attentively, trying not to think of any of the bad scenarios that wanted to plague his mind. He couldn’t. Alec was a grown man and he could indeed take care of himself.

Alec reappeared, dressed his usual, sexy self. Magnus smiled, taking in Alec’s appearance once more. He loved seeing Alec in his shadowhunter mode. It really showed what he was born to do, what he was good at.

“You look handsome, as always, Alexander.” 

Alec smiled and stepped in close to Magnus. “Thank you,” he said. “I need to get going. I’ll check in regularly, I promise.”

“Alright, be careful.” Magnus watched him leave and downed the rest of the coffee. He sighed and closed his eyes.

“Just don’t think about it. He’s going to be fine,” Magnus told himself. He decided to get dressed and get back to his usual business, helping people, as he had done so all along.

As the day passed, Magnus and Alec texted regularly. Izzy had him on report duty, so Alec was writing reports. She didn’t want him out in the field yet either. Not until he was fully healed, and not until they had figured out why his runes and his stele weren’t working. But she was glad to see him back at the Institute, even if she had to shush all rumours about Alec’s bruise that covered his face. They were a family, and they functioned so much better when they worked together.

She checked in on him every few hours or so, to make sure he was okay. Alec got annoyed, she noticed that. But she continued to do so anyway. Just to make sure that he was okay. Alec understood, even if it annoyed him. 

“Go home,” Izzy said, around 5pm. She leaned in the doorway, looking at Alec. “You’ve worked hard, you need to rest.”

“I’m fine,” Alec said. He didn’t really want to go home yet.

“Is everything okay between you and Magnus?” Izzy asked, worried. She closed the door and sat down on the edge of his desk.

“Yeah,” Alec said. He sighed and looked at her. “I just… I feel so guilty for letting this happen. Now he has to hold himself back, even if that’s difficult to do sometimes. I keep him awake with my nightmares. I can see that he’s struggling too, and I hate it. I don’t know what to do.” He felt emotional again, but with a deep breath, he kept his tears at bay.

“Oh big brother,” she said, looking at him. “Magnus will do everything he can to help you, even if that means he has to make some sacrifices. That’s why you guys work so well. You two can compromise and sacrifice whatever is necessary for each other.”

“But still,” Alec said. “I woke up this morning and Magnus had a…” He frowned, wondering if he should say it.

Izzy giggled. “Ah, all men get them, Alec. Don’t worry about it.” 

“But I do!” Alec threw his hands up in frustration. He could no longer offer Magnus what he wanted, needed. And it bothered him. He wanted everything to go back to normal, especially as their wedding anniversary neared. But somehow, it seemed like an impossible task. He looked down.

Izzy sighed and got off the desk. She laid a gentle hand on Alec’s shoulder. “Then talk to him,” she offered. “It’s better if you talk to him about it.” 

Alec gulped, looking up at his sister. She was right though. He could tell her, or Jace, or whoever. But in the end, it simply wasn’t going to help. And he knew that, he just didn’t want to admit it, especially not Magnus. Because he really hated seeing Magnus as he had.

“You’re right,” Alec said, nodding. He shut off the computer and sighed. “Thanks, Izzy.”

“You’re welcome,” Izzy said and smiled at him. “Now go home. And don’t take any shortcuts.”

“I won’t.” Alec had learned from that. He texted Magnus that he was on his way home and that he would take some dinner with him. Then he left the Institute.

Magnus smiled and waited. But as an hour, two hours passed, he became worried. He had tried calling Alec, but his husband didn’t answer his calls. He decided to call Izzy.

“Magnus,” Izzy said, sounding cheerful. 

“Isabelle,” Magnus answered. “You wouldn’t happen to know where Alexander is?”

“Isn’t he home yet then?” Izzy asked, tone quickly changing from cheerful to worried.

“No,” he said. Magnus was worried too. He knew he should have trusted his gut feeling and not have Alec gone out. Even if his husband had been so stubborn.

“Can you trace his phone?” Izzy asked. “I’ll get Jace, we’ll meet you outside of the Institute.”

The call was ended. Magnus frowned, trying to keep his emotions at bay. Alec was probably just fine. But two hours since he last heard from him and no answered calls terrified him. He portaled himself outside of the Institute where he met Jace and Izzy. He had managed to track Alec’s last location.

“You got his last location?” Jace asked. I can’t find him through my parabatai rune.”

“Yeah,” Magnus said. “Come on.” 

They left in a hurry. This couldn’t be true. Alec had to be fine. Magnus would never forgive himself if something had happened to his husband. Because he could have so easily prevented it.

They easily found the last location, outside of an alley. Magnus clutched his stomach, feeling nauseous. It was the same alley he had found Alec just a few days ago. 

Jace spotted Alec’s phone and picked it up. The screen was cracked, and there was a drop of blood on it. He turned to Izzy and Magnus, who looked horrified.

Then the screen lit up, a strange number on it. They answered the call. A video screen popped up.

“Magnu-“ Alec was cut off with a hit. The stranger chuckled, zooming in on the red mark on Alec’s face. He then turned the phone’s camera to him. “How do you guys want him back? In two pieces, or five? Or perhaps more?”

“Coward,” Magnus growled. “Give back my husband. If I get my hands on you, you’re going to regret it.”

Another hit for Alec. “Nah,” the man said. “You won’t find me, or him. He’s mine now. Make some funeral arrangements.”

The call ended.

Magnus was furious, and terrified. His body was shaking with contained anger, but he couldn’t lash out, wouldn’t let himself.

Izzy and Jace looked at each other. Izzy swallowed, feeling guilty for sending Alec home alone now. She should have sent someone with him.

“We’ll find him,” she said, trying to sound optimistic.

“We will,” Magnus said. He’d find Alec, and the stranger. And the stranger was going to suffer, he promised he would go all out.

They headed back to the Institute to rally all forces and allies they knew. They had to find Alec, and soon. Because it sounded like Alec didn’t have a lot of time left.


	5. Chapter 5

Once back at the Institute, Magnus found himself pacing as the rest gathered around the table to think of a plan to get Alec back. He was contained with guilt and anger, fear of what was going to happen to his husband. It couldn’t be good. Magnus should have accompanied Alec back home, should have portaled them back home. But no, he hadn’t. Instead, he’d let Alec go out on his own despite the danger of the stranger still being out there.

Magnus wanted to get his hands on that person. But he was worried. How did the attacker even know when to call? Magnus feared Alec’s kidnapper was a warlock, and that meant they could be anywhere in the world and Magnus may never get him back.

“Magnus,” Jace said.

Magnus stopped, turned to Jace and approached the table. “Yeah, what is it?” he asked.

“Luke and Simon are on their way, so is Meliorn. We’ll find him.” Jace looked at Magnus, seeing the fear and anger. Jace was scared too. He hadn’t seen Alec that vulnerable in such a long while, and now, not knowing where he is and being unable to track him, he was scared they may never find him again. But they had to have hope. Not hoping was dangerous.

“Good,” Magnus said, placing his hands on the table. “I think it may be a warlock,” he said, looking at Izzy and Jace. “He somehow knew we had found Alec’s phone. It must be someone with at least some magic, otherwise, who would be able to block runes?” 

“You’re right,” Izzy said. “We just need to figure out who it is and where they are.”

Which was the hardest part of all. Izzy hadn’t recognised the face and she was certain Jace and Magnus hadn’t either. So it was going to be tough finding the person, and finding Alec. And if it is a warlock, well, Alec may be in big trouble.

Even if Jace couldn’t feel Alec through his parabatai rune, as long as it was there, they held hope that Alec was still alive. Still breathing, fighting for his life. They couldn’t lose hope.

Luke and Simon were quick to come to the Institute. Meliorn arrived just a bit later after them. They gathered around the table as they discussed their plan of action.

“Someone took Alec,” Magnus explained. “We need to find him, and soon.”

“Do we know who it is?” Meliorn asked.

Izzy shook her head. “We suspect he’s a warlock.”

“They could be anywhere, then,” Luke said.

Magnus nodded. “We just need to figure out who it is,” he said. “If something happens to Alec, I will never forgive myself.”

“Me neither,” Izzy said. “I should have never let him go home alone.”

“Guys, focus,” Simon said. “Is there any way to track him?”

“Not through our rune,” Jace said. “It seems that his runes have been disabled. I can’t track him or feel him. But I assume as long as our rune is there, he’s still alive.”

“Warlock tracking?” Meliorn questioned.

Magnus frowned. Could he track Alec? He hadn’t exactly tried. But if Jace couldn’t track him, then Magnus was uncertain he could.

“I could try,” Magnus said. “Is there anything of Alec’s here?”

“Yeah,” Izzy said. She left, and returned a minute or two later with a shirt from Alec. “Here.”

Magnus took the shirt and closed his eyes. He concentrated, getting his emotions under control to try and Alec. He got a vague feeling of Alec’s location. He concentrated harder, but stumbled upon a wall. He sighed, opened his eyes and looked at the group. “A vague location, but nothing exact.”

“It’s a start,” Izzy said, pulling up the map of New York. “Can you pinpoint it on the map?”

Magnus circled the area he had gotten while trying to track Alec. It was still a big area, almost half of New York. But it seemed to at least confirm that Alec was still in New York, and that gave him a little bit of a peace of mind. 

“That’s still a huge area,” Luke said. “I’ll get Maia’s pack on it,” he said and left to make a call.

Magnus pinched the bridge of his nose. It was no secret that this was bringing him a lot of stress and sadness. He hadn’t been this scared in quite some time. Not since he went to Edom to close the rift and wasn’t certain if he’d ever see Alec again.

“We’ll find him,” Izzy tried to reassure Magnus. “I promise.”

Luke returned and nodded. “Maia’s pack is on it. If they’re there, they’re going to find him.” 

Magnus sighed. “Thank you,” he said. He was exhausted as well. He really needed some sleep, but he was certain he wasn’t going to get any until Alec was back, safe in his arms. He would never let Alec out of his sight ever again.

“Go rest,” Jace said. “If there’s any news on him, we’ll let you know.”

Magnus sighed and nodded. He portaled himself back to his apartment. He looked around, feeling empty inside. He clenched his fists as tears burned at the corners of his eyes. He didn’t want to cry, but his emotions were overwhelming. He found himself on his knees in the living room, hands in his hair as he sobbed, as he came to the reality that he may lose Alec forever.

It was too early. He couldn’t lose Alec, not this soon. They should have so much time left together, hell, Magnus was even deadset on finding a way to make Alec immortal. He couldn’t imagine living his life without his husband. That would be torture for sure. There was no way he was going to let that happen. And yet he was powerless now. There was nothing he could do to help Alec, to find him and save him. It was unfair. Life was unfair, he knew. But life had taken something from him so brutally, and he couldn’t help but blame himself for letting it happen. Even if it wasn’t his fault.

Magnus managed to pull himself together. He wiped his tears, took a shower and then crawled into bed. He closed his eyes and tried his best to get some rest.  
\-----  
Alec’s wrists were getting very painful by now. They were starting to bruise too. Just like his face was developing a new bruise. He once more tested the chains that enveloped his wrists, but they were too strong. He couldn’t slip lose from them. Not without seriously damaging his hands.

When he’d seen Magnus his face pop up on the phone screen, tears had come to his eyes. He couldn’t imagine what his husband was going through right now. And it was Alec’s own fault. He’d insisted on going back to work. He took a detour, passing once more the alley he had been attacked at earlier. It was his own stupid mistake.

He took a deep breath, closed his eyes and took himself back to the wedding. Seeing Magnus walk down the isle with his mother, who had disapproved so much in the beginning. It was the best thing that could have happened to them. Saying their vows, the after party. It had been nothing short of magical, thanks to Magnus. The best day of his life, for sure. And life only got better after that.

Moving to Alicante with Magnus, having him be the High Warlock there. Even if he missed Izzy and Jace so much that they decided to move back again after several years. They definitely hadn’t regretted that decision.

Alec was pulled from his safe place inside his head as he felt the whip lash across his back. He cried out, eyes flying open as he came face to face with the person that had kidnapped him. He narrowed his eyes, but kept himself quiet. He just hoped that Magnus could help him, find him and rescue him. 

“Dreaming again?” the man said, cocking his head in fake curiosity. “Dreaming of your husband? You want to go back to him?”

He waited for an answer, but Alec didn’t. The man shrugged and walked behind him, landing three more lashes across Alec’s back.

Alec took some deep breaths, the man walking back to face him. 

“Of course I want to go back to him,” he gritted out, back burning from the whip lashes. “But I’m certain you won’t let me, so why would I ask for it?”

“I like to hear you beg,” the man said.

Alec rolled his eyes, earning him a harsh slap to his face. He clenched his fists, he was both terrified and angry, but he also realised there was nothing he could do now. 

“Beg me,” the man said, crossing his arms over his chest. “Beg me to go back to him.”

“Fuck you,” Alec spat out. He wasn’t just going to give in. Alec was strong, it would take quite a bit to break him. 

“Fine,” the man said. He walked around Alec and picked up the whip once more. Ten lashes landed on the male’s back. Blood seeped from the cuts created, and he knew that Alec was in a great deal of pain, even if he hadn’t made any sound. The warlock would eventually get his way, even if it would take some time.

He pressed himself close to Alec, and wrapped his arms around the male’s waist. He undid the buckle on Alec’s belt, loosening his pants. Then he undid the button, pulled the zipper down, and shimmied the skinny jeans down Alec’s legs. Along with his underwear.

Alec bit down on his lip. Flashbacks to the alley terrorised him as the man worked down his pants. He was strong, he could handle this. But he didn’t want to go through it again. Once had been more than enough. Now he did want to beg the man to stop, but he couldn’t. He wouldn’t let himself.

“Beg for me, pretty boy,” the warlock whispered. He kissed Alec’s shoulder. “Beg me, or this is going to hurt a lot worse.”

“Do with me what you want. Magnus will find me and you will regret this,” Alec said, sounding confident. Even if he had to fake it.

The man chuckled and gripped Alec’s hips tight. “Fine then, have it your way. I suppose you like it rough.”

Alec closed his eyes as tears slipped down his face. He took a deep breath as pain exploded. He just had to endure, had to get through this. He could, he was certain of it. He had to, for Magnus. He needed to see Magnus again, live out the rest of his life with his husband. And that goal would keep him strong, would keep him going, even if he was tortured in the worst ways possible.

The warlock was getting annoyed that he wasn’t getting the responses he wanted from Alec. So with a snap of his fingers, Alec’s pain intensified tenfold. And finally, the shadowhunter cried out.

“S- stop,” Alec stuttered, body shaking with each thrust. This was getting too much. It felt like his entire body was burning up, like he was literally on fire. And he couldn’t escape it. He twisted around, squirmed, but the chains kept him in place. And the hands on his hips kept his lower half still. Nails dug into his pale skin, leaving marks.

“What? I didn’t hear you,” the man said.

“Stop!” Alec cried out. “Stop, please. I beg you! Stop this!” Alec felt delirious, the pain becoming overwhelming. “Please!” 

And then it stopped, indeed. Alec gasped, panting as he tried to recover from the pain. It came and went just like that. Alec came face to face with the warlock once more, who was grinning.

“See, you can be an obedient little slut,” he said, taking Alec’s chin in his hand. “The better you listen, the less I will hurt you, at first.” He chuckled and leaned in, kissing Alec back.

Alec wanted to pull back, but he couldn’t. Nails dug into his chin, and with pain in his heart, he kissed the warlock back. Tears still slipped down his face, dripped down onto the floor. It felt like such a betrayal to his husband, but he had no choice if he wanted to survive. Even if it went against every fibre of his body.

The warlock pulled back and grinned. “You’re a good kisser,” he commented. He then left, going up the small stairs that lead to wherever Alec was. A sort of basement. The doors closed and the light shut off, leaving Alec in total darkness.

He sighed, at least, for now, he would have some rest. But he still hung in these chains by his wrists. They were sore. Alec wondered how long he could keep this up. Not that he had a choice really. He just wanted some rest for his wrists as well. He wanted to go back home, curl up on Magnus his arms and forget this happened at all. 

But he couldn’t. He was stuck here, for however long his attacker wanted. Sadly, he questioned if he would ever be found. This warlock was powerful, he knew that much. And although Magnus was as well, Alec wondered if this warlock was more powerful. He definitely could be. But he had to have hope. Had to hope that he would be found and rescued. Because if he didn’t hold out that hope, he could just as well give up right now, let the warlock do whatever he’d like.

But Alec would never do that. It took a lot to break him, and he was going to give his all to prevent himself from being broken. He just hoped the others would be in time. After all, he could only take so much.

Alec, despite the pain, the discomfort, found himself slowly drifting off to sleep. The peace of the darkness engulfed him and for a moment he was happy, as he found himself back in Magnus his arms, safely in his apartment. Even if just for a moment.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger? Cliffhanger. It's going to get better, I promise. At some point.

The next morning, Magnus looked at himself in the mirror and frowned. It wasn’t often that he looked as much a chaos as he did right now. But, with a flick of his hand, his hair was on fleek, his makeup done, and he looked like he had it together. Even if he hadn’t had it together. Even if he was a mess.

This had been the first night in years that he hadn’t spent with his husband. And it had made sleeping incredibly difficult. He could only imagine how difficult it must have been for Alec. He probably didn’t have a bed to sleep in. 

It hurt to imagine Alec going through such horrible things. He wished he could save his husband right now, take him in his arms and tell him that all was going to be okay. But he couldn’t, and he absolutely hated it. Feeling so powerless, so useless.

Magnus sighed, pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath. He had to remind himself that Alec was going to be okay. That he had to have hope, even if it felt that hope that entirely gone.

A swirl of his hands and a portal appeared. Magnus stepped through it and appeared in the Institute, portal closing behind him. Izzy and Jace were up already, or hadn’t slept yet. 

“Good morning,” Magnus said, sitting down at the table.

“Morning,” Izzy mumbled. She rubbed her eyes. Izzy took her stele and moved it over her stamina rune, feeling a lot more awake again. She looked at Magnus. “Sadly, there’s no news, as of yet. Maia’s pack is still scouting, along with some seelie scouts.”

“Okay,” Magnus said. He had expected that there was no news. But it still hurt, still it disappointed him. He had hoped so badly that they would have a lead on Alec. But there was none. And he would just have to deal with that.

Simon and Luke also joined them after an hour or so. Meliorn did around noon. They sat there, contemplating what to do.

Then Alec’s phone rang. The same number as last night. Magnus swallowed, but the call was answered and once more, a video screen popped up, showing Alec hanging there in the chains, only wearing underwear. Magnus noted the piece of clothing was fresh. He could see new bruises, as well as faint marks.

“Good afternoon,” the man said, although out of view. He walked around Alec, focusing on Alec’s back, which was covered in whip marks and cuts. “Doesn’t this look pretty on him?” 

Magnus had to contain himself. He didn’t want to risk Alec getting hurt any more than he already was.

The view focused on Alec’s face. “Pretty boy is still asleep,” the warlock chuckled. “Time to wake him up, huh?”

A snip of the fingers and Alec’s eyes opened wide as his world exploded in pain. The moment he saw the phone though, he swallowed and forced himself to be quiet, not wanting to show Magnus, who he was sure was watching, that he was in a great deal of pain.

The warlock positioned the phone on a table, making sure it focused well on Alec. He picked up the whip that laid on the ground.

“Stop!” Magnus said, not wanting to see Alec get a beating. Tears burned at the edges of his eyes, but he kept them back.

The warlock gave no heed to it though, and Alec received the first of his lashes. He gritted his teeth, but after four lashes, the pain became too much. He cried out each following lash, until ten fresh lashes stood zigzagged on his back. He was exhausted, in a great deal of pain.

The warlock now appeared in view. “You want him, Magnus?” he asked. “Come and get him, then. I’ll text you the address of a meetup point, but you’ll have to come alone. No tricks, no traps. And then I’ll bring you to your boy toy.” The call ended then.

Magnus sat there, tears streaming down his face. He knew it had to be some sort of trap. There was no way Alec would just be let go if Magnus came to get him. But he wanted to go, felt the need to go. Perhaps he could take Alec’s place and spare his husband of further pain.

“You can’t,” Izzy said, worried. She saw the doubt in Magnus’ eyes and she knew he was considering the offer. “We need you here.”

Magnus looked at Izzy. “I know, but…” He frowned and got up. “I need some fresh air.” He felt the Institute.

Izzy sighed. This was not good. If Magnus went, their chances of rescuing Alec would diminish by quite a bit. And who knew what would happen to Magnus. Alec would also disagree, she was certain of that. Those two would put their lives on the line for each other.

“Magnus is going to take that offer,” Jace said.

“Obviously.” Meliorn leaned back in the chair and sighed. “He’s too smitten for Alec.”

“Damnit,” Izzy said. She looked at them. “We can’t let him. We need him here. We won’t be able to find the both of them if they’re gone. Magnus is our best chance at finding Alec.”

“I don’t think there’s a stopping him,” Simon mused. “Even if we wanted to. He’ll find a way to get there, to get to Alec.”

“I’ll give a headsup to Maia’s pack to watch the area closely. If Magnus goes, they may be able to follow his scent, and find the warlock, Magnus and Alec.” Luke got up and went outside to make the call.

Jace suddenly closed his eyes and placed his hand over the parabatai rune. Pain flared up all of a sudden.

“Jace?” Izzy asked, worried. “What’s wrong?”

“I can feel him again,” Jace mumbled. “He’s in a lot of pain.”

“We need to warn Mag-“ Izzy started, but Luke cut in.

“No use, Magnus is gone,” Luke interrupted, looking at the group as he came back inside. “I couldn’t find him anywhere outside, so I can only assume he texted the warlock and left.”

Jace groaned and closed his eyes. And then the pain vanished, and he couldn’t feel Alec anymore. He checked to see if his rune was still there, and luckily it was. But he was worried. If Alec was already in so much pain, and he was still with the warlock, it was only going to get worse.

“We need to find them,” Jace said, looking at the group of people. “And soon. He’s not going to be able to hold on much longer.” He had felt Alec’s presence weaken in the few seconds that he had felt Alec’s pain. Alec’s body was nearing it’s limit.

“Maia’s pack is on it, they’re trying to find Magnus right now,” Luke said. “That’s all we can do right now.”

“Wait,” Izzy said, as her phone vibrated. She looked at it. “Sent them to this address.” 

Luke called Maia and directed her to the address. He waited as they went, anxious. They all were. He put the phone on speaker and laid it down onto the table.

“We found his phone,” Maia reported. “But no one’s here.”

“Damnit,” Izzy said, getting frustrated.

“Continue searching, please. Try and find his scent,” Luke said, before ending the call. This was a setback. They couldn’t track him through his phone now either. But they would have to continue to have hope.  
\-----  
Magnus portaled to the given address. He stood there, looking around. He quickly sent the address to Izzy her phone.

“Drop your phone,” a voice said.

Magnus quickly scanned the area, but he couldn’t see anyone. He did as he was ordered though, putting the phone down on the ground. 

“Close your eyes.”

“Why?” Magnus questioned. 

“Do it, or you’ll never see your boy toy again.”

Magnus cursed himself and closed his eyes. Suddenly, his hands were forced behind his back and tied together. Before he could open his eyes, a blindfold covered them, rendering his eyesight useless.

“Now, you’re going to do exactly as I say, or you’ll lose him forever.” 

Magnus could hear swishing, he waited. A push on his shoulders and Magnus walked forward, through a portal. He was forced to sat down, his hands now tied to armchairs. The blindfold was removed and Magnus saw Alec, hanging in the chains. His eyes were closed, he looked to be asleep, or unconscious. Magnus tried the chains that kept him down, but it was useless.

“Don’t try and fight them. They’ll cut into your skin nastily.” The warlock chuckled, watching Magnus’ expression. “Ah don’t worry, your boy toy is still alive. Just asleep.” 

The warlock walked over to Alec and gave him a good punch in his stomach. The male woke up, groaning, and as his eyes managed to focus, Magnus came in his sight. He paled, and shook his head.

“Let him go,” Alec said, looking at the warlock. “Right now. There is no need for him to be here.”

“Alexander,” Magnus said. He so dearly wanted to reach out to his husband. 

“No,” Alec said, looking at Magnus. “Why did you come?” 

Alec couldn’t bare the thought of Magnus watching him be broken bit by bit, until Alec was nothing anymore. He didn’t want Magnus to see that, couldn’t. He looked at his attacker. “Let him go. I’ll do anything you want. I’ll stop struggling. Just let him go, please. I beg you.” 

The warlock laughed, obviously amused. “You two are something,” he said. “But I won’t let any of you go.” He took Alec’s chin in his hand and stepped in close. “You’re both mine now. And your husband can watch how I break you. How you’ll become absolutely nothing but an obedient little pet.” He kissed the shadowhunter.

Magnus looked away, anger boiling up inside of him. But he knew he had to keep himself quiet, or risk Alec getting punished. He would have to wait it out, until he could free himself and take Alec back. Or until the rest found them. Either way, he would be here for Alec.

Then the warlock left, leaving the two husbands alone. 

Alec grimaced, wishing he could wipe away the feeling of lips on his own. Lips that weren’t Magnus’. He looked at Magnus with sadness in his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled.

“There is nothing to apologise for, Alexander.” Magnus would definitely hurt the person responsible for this. Once he got free, once he got his hands on the warlock, there would be hell to pay for that person. Until then, Magnus was here, to be a light in Alec’s life. Because he didn’t want Alec to go through this alone, couldn’t let his husband face this all alone.

“You shouldn’t have come,” Alec said. He sighed, looking down. He was hurting. He’d lost a lot of blood, and he knew he was getting weaker as time passed. He wasn’t sure just how long he could hold on. He knew he was reaching his limits. And he didn’t want Magnus to see him die. Alec swallowed. He couldn’t think like that. 

“I would have been fine,” he said. “Who’s going to rescue us now, huh?”

“Izzy and Jace are on it, together with Simon and Meliorn. Seelie scouts and Maia’s pack is scouting the area. They’ll find us, Alexander. I promise you.” Magnus clenched his fists and fought against the chains, but they did indeed cut into the skin of his wrists. He gritted his teeth and stopped his struggle. He would find a way out of here. This warlock was strong, sure. But Magnus was certain he could defeat him.

Alec sighed and looked at Magnus. “I’m sorry,” he apologised. “Sorry for not coming straight home, or calling you to pick me up. This is my own fault, I should have asked someone to come with me, or asked you to portal me back home.”

“Don’t,” Magnus said. “Alexander, none of this is your fault.”

“Of course it is!” Alec swallowed and looked down. “I could have avoided this, all of this. If I hadn’t taken that shortcut, nothing would have happened. We would be celebrating our anniversary, instead of being locked inside here, with no way out. I’m so stupid.”

Magnus clenched his fists. “Alexander, listen to me,” he said, sounding angry and upset. “None of this is your fault and I will never blame you for it. So stop blaming yourself.”

Alec looked at Magnus, ready to cry, scream at him. But he kept himself quiet instead. There was no reasoning with Magnus, he knew. And he needed to save his strength for when the warlock came back. He knew his kidnapper had so much more in store for him. He needed to be strong for as long as he could. He couldn’t disappoint Magnus, didn’t want to die on him. Magnus would never forgive himself, he knew that much. And Alec was too young to die. He wanted to spend more time with Magnus, his family and friends. So he had to hold on, no matter how tough it was going to be.

His consciousness waned, Alec tried his best to keep his eyes open. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever wake up again.

Magnus saw it, too. Alec was struggling to stay awake. And normally he’d advice Alec to go to sleep, but in this case, it was dangerous. Magnus tried his magic, but it seemed his magic was blocked here for some reason. He couldn’t use it. And once more, he felt entirely powerless, useless. He’d come for Alec and now there was absolutely nothing he could do to help his husband.

Time passed. Alec remained quiet and Magnus became more worried.

“Alec?” Magnus asked. No response.

“Alec?” A little louder. Still no response.

Magnus was on the edge of crying. “Alec, please. You have to wake up!” 

But again, no response. Silence reigned, the lights went out all of a sudden. Magnus sat there in the dark, staring at his husband who was unresponsive. It could be that Alec was just in a deep sleep, but there was also very much the possibility that he was unconscious, possibly even in a coma. 

“Please stay alive,” Magnus whispered, not ready to lose Alec yet. “I promise I’ll get you out of here. Just please…”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I might be... inactive for a bit. I'm away for a while and I simply may not have the time to write. Hope you'll understand.

Magnus drifted off into a light slumber at some point. But every hour or so he woke up, called for Alec, got no response, and drifted off again. He wasn’t sure how much time passed, but it took too long for his liking. And then, at some point, the lights turned on again. Magnus looked over towards Alec. He was still breathing, which was a relief. Alec was alive, at least. But he wasn’t sure how long his husband could hold on. He knew Alec was struggling, in a great deal of pain. Magnus wished he could take it all away, but he had tested the chains that kept him down in his chair. He had tried his magic. But nothing worked. It seemed impossible. 

The door opened, alerting Magnus to the presence of his kidnapper. Magnus remained quiet as the warlock snapped his fingers, Alec waking up with a cry of pain. At least Alec was awake, for now.

“Good morning boys,” the warlock said, sounding cheerful. He turned to Alec and kissed him, forced Alec to kiss him back. 

“Should we call the Institute?” he mused. 

Alec shook his head. No one else needed to see him this vulnerable, this weak. He hated the fact that Magnus was already here to see his will broken. No one else needed to.

The warlock laughed, and patted Alec’s cheek. “Alright then, for now. But only if you’re good,” he said.

Alec nodded, looking down.

The warlock chuckled. A whip appeared in his hand and he looked at Magnus. “I hope you enjoy the view,” he said, before walking around Alec to stand behind him. 

The first two lashes weren’t as painful. But Alec already had an injured back, and the third lash hit hard across an existing one. Alec cried out, clenched his fists. He tried his best to be quiet, but it was impossible as each lash landed harder than the other. He could feel blood drip down his back. He was already feeling so weak. 

The lashes continued on. Until Alec couldn’t even feel his back anymore. It was just one surface full of pain. He wasn’t even sure if there was skin on his back left. All he knew was the burning pain, the intense hurting as the lashes continued to plaster themselves across his back, digging deeper into his body and causing more harm. His breathing was heavy, he felt himself grow weaker by the second. Then the lashes stopped, and the warlock walked around him. He was once more forced to kiss the man he hated.

Suddenly, his hands were released from the chains. Alec, having no strength, sunk through his knees and collapsed. He forced himself to sit up though, sit on his knees. A hand in his hair made him close his eyes.

“Please,” he whispered. “Now while… Not while Magnus is here,” he mumbled. “He doesn’t need to see this.”

The warlock chuckled. “Why not? He should see you for who you really are, a dirty whore.” The warlock looked at Magnus. “Isn’t that right?”

Magnus grimaced, but kept quiet. He would find a way out of here, find a way to save Alec. Even if it took him longer than he wanted to.

“No refusal,” the warlock said, turning back to Alec. “So you’re going to do as I say,” he said. “Because you’re a good boy, a good, obedient slut.”

Alec nodded. He took a deep breath and forced himself to calm down. The cuts on his back were throbbing, hurting. He was dizzy, he was starving, dehydrated. His body was reaching its limits. The man twisted his hand in his hair, and Alec opened his mouth. A zipper was undone, fabrics shoved down.

He gagged the moment he tasted the saltiness. But the man wouldn’t let him up, forcing his cock into Alec’s mouth. 

“Oh fuck,” the warlock groaned, closing his eyes. “You’re such a good slut,” he said, thrusting into Alec’s mouth. He opened his eyes and looked down at the shadowhunter sitting on his knees. He knew the man was in a world of pain, with his back still bleeding. He knew Alec was weak, and growing weaker by the second. But it didn’t matter to him.

“Yeah, take it like a good bitch.” The man held on tighter and thrusted faster. 

Alec endured the shame. To have Magnus see him like this, his confidence was shattered. He was certain Magnus would leave him after this, or only stay out of pity. He couldn’t imagine Magnus wanting him back, ever. He was disgusting, forever scarred and ugly. He would never be the same again, even if he would try so hard. He hated himself, he would forever be dirty.

Magnus fought against his chains with all his strength. He felt them cut into his skin, digging deeper as he fought, but he didn’t care. He couldn’t watch Alec go through this hell. And he knew Alec was getting weaker. He could barely sit up on his knees. Magnus had to do something. He knew that much. So even as his wrists hurt, and bled, he had to continue to fight, for Alec. For his husband. All of a sudden, Magnus managed to break the chains. He got up, but the warlock was already alerted and now pressed a knife against Alec’s throat.

“Let him go,” Magnus said.

“No,” the warlock countered. “Come closer and I will cut his pretty throat.”

Magnus shot a fire ball, but the warlock dodged and instead, Alec got hurt. Magnus clenched his fists. A portal appeared as well, which the warlock took as a cue that he had to get out of here. The knife changed into an arrow, and the warlock stabbed Alec with it, right through his chest. Magnus had war flashbacks to when he lost his magic, and found Alec with an arrow in his chest after saving Jace from the owl, from Lillith.

The warlock fled. Jace and Izzy appeared through the portal. Jace was in tremendous amount of pain, as they rushed over to Alec. They saw the mess his back had become, the arrow through his chest, Alec’s skin paling. Magnus did so too, kneeling beside his husband. Anger boiled up in him.

“Take care of him,” he said to Jace and Izzy. He left them there to attend to Alec.

Alec looked up at Jace and Izzy. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. His eyes closed, his breathing stopped.

“No!” Jace said, holding on to Alec’s hand. 

“We have to get him back to the Institute,” Izzy said.

Jace nodded, picking up Alec and carrying him through the portal. Izzy followed, hoping Magnus could catch the warlock.

Magnus quickly found the warlock, who was set to go through a portal of his own. Magnus quickly bound his wrists together with magic, as well as his ankles and knees. The warlock was forced to his knees, but he still laughed.

“Is your husband dead yet?” the warlock said, looking up at Magnus. He could see the anger, the need to lash out. “I bet he is.”

“Shut up,” Magnus growled, snapping his fingers. The other warlock became quiet, unable to talk, for now. Magnus portaled them to the Institute, and let the shadowhunters who were waiting take the warlock down to the cells.

Now he needed to find Alec. Luckily Izzy found him, she looked worried. 

“What’s wrong?” Magnus asked.

“Come with me,” she said.

Magnus followed her. They had to have been in time. Alec wasn’t dead, he couldn’t be. He had to survive. 

When Magnus saw Alec, his heart sunk. Alec laid on an examination table. He was breathing, his heart was beating. But that was it. He was hooked up to all kinds of monitors.

“What happened?” Magnus asked quietly. He took Alec’s hand and held it. 

“His heart stopped,” Jace explained. “We managed to revive him but…” Jace shook his head, looking down. “It’s not looking good.”

Magnus put Alec’s hand against his cheek and closed his eyes. “He’s going to pull through,” he mumbled. “He has to.” 

There was simply no way he would let Alec die this young. Alec had a whole life ahead of him, and Magnus was going to make sure he got to experience and live it.

Jace and Izzy left him.

Magnus looked at Alec. He looked pale, weak. His cheeks sunken in, dark rings under his eyes. Now that he got a closer look at his husband, he saw the state that he was in. But he had to hope. Alec needed to pull through.

He never left his husband’s side. Memories flashed through his mind, the good and the bad, all that they had gone through. The happiness, sadness, anger. Everything. Magnus looked at Alec.

“You have to come back to me, Alexander,” he whispered, tears streaming down his face. “You can’t leave. You promised you wouldn’t.”

Silence remained. Magnus closed his eyes and tried to contain his sobs. “Please, Alexander. You’re my everything. You once told me that you couldn’t live your life without me. Well, the same goes for me. I love you, Alexander. I can’t lose you.”

“You won’t lose me.”

The voice was weak. Magnus almost thought he had imagined it. But he opened his eyes and found himself looking into the eyes of his lover.

“Alexander…”

“I’m sorry,” Alec whispered. He placed his hand on Magnus’s cheek and smiled weakly. “For scaring you.”

“Alec!” Jace said, walking into the room. “You’re awake! Thank the Angel!” He wrapped Alec in a hug, holding him tight.

Alec groaned, and was quickly let down again. He was still in a great deal of pain, and he knew it was going to take a while to recover. He had gained new scars, that he would forever carry. He hated it.

Izzy smiled and kissed her brother on her forehead. “I’m glad to see you’re awake,” she said. 

“Did you catch him?” Alec asked.

“Magnus did,” Jace said. “He’s down in the cells. He won’t be able to escape anymore. He’ll be dealt with.”

Alec nodded. “Good,” he whispered. He was exhausted and looked at Magnus. He smiled, forever grateful for his husband. He closed his eyes.

“Stay awake,” Magnus mumbled. He was scared that if Alec fell asleep again, he may never wake up. Magnus squeezed Alec’s hand, holding onto it tightly.

“I’ll be fine,” Alec said, opening his eyes and looking at Magnus. “I promise. I’m just tired.”

Magnus frowned, but Alec closed his eyes again. He sighed, and kept on holding Alec’s hand. They just needed to get through this night. 

Izzy and Jace left once more. Magnus stayed by Alec’s side, not wanting to leave his side ever again. He couldn’t bare the thought of being away for a minute and finding Alec gone. He knew he had to sleep though. He hadn’t slept a lot last night. So eventually, Magnus drifted off to sleep.

Izzy and Jace checked on them regularly throughout the rest of the day. But they mostly just left them alone. The two needed their rest.

During the night, Izzy checked on them a few times as well.

Magnus woke up somewhere early in the morning. He groaned, his back was hurting because he’d slept bent over on Alec’s stomach. The rise and fall of Alec’s chest had lulled him into sleep and kept him asleep. He must have slept well over 18 hours.

Alec was already awake, Magnus noticed, because a hand was playing with his hand. Magnus raised his head and looked at his husband. He smiled.

“Good morning,” Alec said.

“Good morning, Alexander,” Magnus said. He moved and pecked Alec’s head. “Good to see you awake.”

“I told you,” Alec said, “you’re not just going to lose me that easily.” Alec slowly sat up, grimacing from the pain it caused. He knew he had to be careful with his back. He wasn’t sure how bad it was, if his healing rune had healed it at all. But considering how much it was hurting still, he simply knew he had to be careful.

“Morning,” Izzy said, coming into the room. She smiled at them. “You two have been out of it for long.”

“Yeah,” Alec said, looking at his sister. “Morning.”

“I want to check your back,” Izzy said, becoming serious. She slowly lifted up Alec’s gown and looked at his back. It was still a mess. The healing rune had closed the wound, but his entire back would need a lot of time and rest for it to heal entirely. Alec would probably have lost sensitivity in it too, and it would be one big mess of scars.

Magnus looked at Alec’s back too, and frowned. “Isn’t his healing rune working?”

“It is,” Izzy explained, lowering the gown again. “But not to the extend it normally does. It’ll need some time to heal.”

“Can I go home?” Alec asked. He didn’t really want to stay here for any longer than he had to. He wanted to recover further in Magnus’s loft.

“Yeah,” Izzy said. “As long as you rest enough.”

“I’ll make sure of that,” Magnus said. 

“Alright then,” Izzy said. “Keep us updated.”

Magnus snapped his fingers and Alec was dressed a bit more proper. He moved his hands and a portal appeared. Alec managed to get up, and although he was still weak, could walk through the portal with the help of Magnus. They appeared back in Magnus’s apartment and Alec smiled at the familiarity of it. He was glad to be back home.

Magnus let him sit down. He had some errands to run, so he looked at Alec. “I’m going to be back in an hour or so, okay? I have some errands to run.”

“I’ll be fine,” Alec said and smiled at Magnus. “Go. I’ll be right here.”

“You better,” Magnus said. He kissed Alec and then left.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whoops :,)

Magnus found his way back to the Institute. He had already warned Izzy and Jace that he was coming to watch interrogations with the warlock. He wanted to be there, had to know why exactly the warlock had taken Alec. Had targeted his husband. He also realised he didn’t even know the warlock’s name. The man didn’t seem familiar to him, he’d definitely never met him before. Which added to the mystery. He hated being as clueless as he was.

Izzy waited for Magnus, and then together they went down to the holding cells. Jace was already there, waiting for the two to arrive. He had already tried to interrogate the warlock, but it seemed it had been no use. The warlock had kept his mouth shut.

“Any progress?” Izzy asked, standing beside Jace.

“No,” Jace said. “He won’t talk. Hasn’t said a word.”

“Let me try,” Magnus suggested. The two nodded, letting Magnus into the cell, Jace accompanying him.

“What’s your name?” Magnus asked, looking at the warlock. 

The warlock looked up and smirked. But otherwise kept his mouth shut.

“What is your name?” Magnus repeated. He sounded annoyed now.

“I’ll only talk to your boy toy, if he is even alive.” The warlock looked at Magnus. He knew he was vulnerable, but he didn’t really care. Magnus wasn’t allowed to hurt him, neither were the shadowhunters.

Magnus and Jace left the cell then, knowing it was pointless to try.

“So, what do we do?” Jace asked, looking at them.

“I don’t think it’s smart to involve Alexander,” Magnus said. “Forcing him to see the man that…” He swallowed. “Hurt him… I just don’t know.”

“I agree,” Izzy said. “But it seems to be the only way that he will talk. I don’t want to hand him over to the Clave, at least, not yet. I want answers.”

“We all do,” Jace said. “Let’s give it a rest, for now.”

“I’ll talk to Alexander,” Magnus said. 

The three of them made their way back to the entrance. Magnus went home again. He decided to walk, instead of portal himself back home. He needed some time to think, to clear his mind.

What had happened the past few days had been hugely traumatic for his boyfriend, but also for him. Seeing Alec so weak, so vulnerable, had broken his heart into so many pieces. He wasn’t certain if he could glue them all together again. And to think that Alec was going to have to live the rest of his life with those memories, the scars. Magnus shot a small fire ball at the ground, before hurrying along.

He had to contain his anger. Let it go. All he could do now was be there for his husband, help him heal. It was going to be a difficult task. He knew that much. He wasn’t sure how Alec was going to deal with all of this, but Magnus was determined to help him be his old self again, at some point. He would do anything to help Alec get back to himself.

As he walked through the city streets, he decided to pick up lunch for the two of them. Alec needed to eat to regain his strength. He’d definitely lost quite some weight. Magnus didn’t want him to lose any more weight than he already had.

So after a quick stop, Magnus found his way home again, to their trusted apartment. He used his magic to open the door, because that was so much easier than using the key. He stepped inside, closed the door, and looked around.

The first thing he noticed was that there were bottles of alcohol scattered across the living room. Empty bottles.

The second thing he noticed was Alec, standing at the window, shirtless, back turned to him. This gave Magnus a good view of the damage that had been done to his husband. The healing process had already begun and it didn’t look so ugly now anymore. But it also showed how the scars were going to form.

“Alexander?” Magnus asked.

Alec turned around and smiled brightly. “Husband!” he said, sounding more cheerful than he perhaps should. He took a step, but was unsteady on his feet.

“The whole world is spinning,” he giggled. “You need to buy some more alcohol. All of it is gone now.”

“You drank all of it?” Magnus asked. He put the food down on the table and looked at his husband. He approached, and took hold of Alec’s hand.

“Alexander, you need to sit down.”

“No!” Alec whined, pulling his hand away. He pouted, looking at Magnus. “I’m fine!”

“Of course you are,” Magnus mumbled. Alec didn’t have the biggest tolerance for alcohol and to know he had drunk everything that they had, well, that didn’t really seem like a good idea. Even if Alec wasn’t slurring his speech, he was unsteady.

“Come on,” Magnus said, gently tugging Alec to the couch and forcing him to sit down. “Why did you drink?”

Alec shrugged. “Just felt like it,” he said. He climbed into Magnus’s lap and looked at him. His cheeks were flushed. “I needed some distraction and you weren’t here. I love you, Magnus.” He leaned in to kiss Magnus.

Magnus put a finger to Alec’s lips and frowned. “Alexander…” He wasn’t exactly sure how to deal with this. 

“You need to eat and rest,” he said.

“But I want something else,” Alec mumbled, rubbing his ass over Magnus’s crotch. “Please, Magnus. I need you. I don’t want to feel him. I want to feel you.”

Magnus gulped, because he couldn’t deny this needy version of his husband wasn’t turning him on. But he knew it wasn’t right. Knew that Alec would come to regret it by the time he sobered up.

“Alexander,” Magnus said. “First lets get you to eat something and rest.”

Alec pouted, moving himself off of Magnus’s lap and crossing his arms over his chest. “Unfair.” 

“Life is,” Magnus sighed. He took the bag and opened it. He took out the fresh croissants and handed one to Alec. “Now eat. You need it. You’ve lost weight and you need to gain it back.”

“I’m not hungry,” Alec said, looking at the croissant in his hand. His stomach rumbled, betraying him. He rolled his eyes and took a bite. “Fine,” he mumbled with a full mouth.

Alec ended up devouring three croissants before saying he had enough. Magnus was glad Alec had eaten something, at least. He got up and cleaned up the bottles with a snap of his finger, then put the rest of the food he had bought away. He turned back to Alec, who sat on the couch, staring off into the distance.

“Let’s get you to bed,” Magnus said.

“No,” Alec said, snapping from his thoughts. He looked at Magnus, and got up. He was already a lot more steady on his feet, and sobering up quickly.

He approached his husband and wrapped his arms around the man’s waist. He rested his head on Magnus’s chest and closed his eyes.

Magnus frowned, but wrapped Alec in a hug and held him gently, being careful of his back. This was definitely not what he had envisioned for Alec’s road to recovery. He sighed softly.

“Please,” Alec whispered. It sounded so desperate, so sad. Alec could feel the warlock’s hands roaming his body. The lips on his own. He shuddered, pulling back. “I don’t…” he shook his head, not certain how to explain it. He was still drunk, and words and sentences didn’t make a whole lot of sense to him right now.

“Please, I beg you.” Alec looked at Magnus with the most desperate eyes.

Magnus swallowed, but shook his head. “Let’s get you cleaned up and to bed,” he said, determined to keep Alec from doing something that he would regret.

“Is it because I’m dirty? I’m a dirty whore now…” Alec looked down. “He was right. You don’t want me anymore. I’m too gross.”

“No!” Magnus took Alec’s hands and looked at his husband. “Alexander, that is not true. I am simply afraid you will come to regret it by the time you’ve rested some. I don’t want you to do anything that you’ll regret.”

“I’m a slut,” Alec whispered. “A dirty whore. I’m sorry for being such a burden on you.”

“Alexander,” Magnus said. “You are not a burden. You’re not a slut, or a whore.” It hurt to hear Alec say that about himself. “You are my husband, and I love you. But you’ll regret this.”

“No,” Alec said, and pulled away. “You don’t understand, Magnus. His hands are everywhere. I feel him touching me. I feel his lips on my own. I… I don’t want to feel him.” He started crying.

Magnus swore to himself then that he would make the warlock feel what Alec was feeling. The pain, the humiliation. He would do everything in his power to punish the warlock accordingly and banish him to somewhere where no one would ever be hurt by him again. To know that Alec was feeling this way, it broke his heart into even more pieces. Shattered him. He realised the task ahead was daunting.

“Alexander,” Magnus said. “Let me help you in better ways.”

But Alec refused, shook his head. He looked at Magnus, feeling so disgusted with himself. He just wanted the feeling gone. The memories gone.

“Take my memories,” he whispered.

Magnus clenched his fists. Of course he’d been thinking of doing that, but taking memories was dangerous. He wanted to, oh how he did. But it wouldn’t help Alec’s healing process. It wouldn’t help Alec at all.

Alec took the silence as a no. He grabbed what was closest to him, a bottle, and threw it with all his might at the furthest wall. It crashed into the wall and shattered into many pieces. He stared at it, clearly angry. He wanted to do that again, it felt good. He grabbed the second bottle, but Magnus stopped him.

“Alexander!” Magnus said, taking the bottle away. “You will get better. It’s going to take time. But you need to trust me.”

“No!” Alec said, once more stepping away. “No! I’ll be forever this stained person! I’ll carry the scars and memories with me until I die. I’ll carry them into the grave and I’ll burden you with them as I age. I’ll forever be a dirty whore, a slut.”

He sniffled, looking down. “I’m going to be this burden to you, even if you can’t see it right now. There’s no fixing this.” 

Magnus gulped. He had heard those words before, and it had been in one of the worst moments of his life. He didn’t want a repeat of that, wouldn’t.

Alec looked up at Magnus. “Why won’t you just help me? If you don’t think of me that way, then why? I promise I won’t regret. I just need to feel your hands, not his. Your lips, not his. Hear your voice, not hear his.”

The desperation was clear and Magnus stood there, uncertain of what to do. He snapped his fingers and a glass of strong liquor ended up in his hand, which he downed. He made himself another one, which he downed as well.

“Make me one too,” Alec whispered.

And Magnus did.

They both downed their glasses of liquor until Alec was getting drunk again. Magnus had a high tolerance for alcohol but he could feel it seeping into his bones as well. And this time, when Alec came closer and tried to kiss him, Magnus didn’t refuse him. He let himself be pushed to the bedroom, let his shirt be discarded by Alec. He knew he shouldn’t. He knew he should stop his husband from doing something that they would both regret. But how could he possibly refuse Alec when he looked and sounded so desperate. When his every action was desperate. Magnus couldn’t. 

They landed on bed and Magnus climbed on top, stroking his hands down the boy’s beautiful chest. He admired each and every rune. Looked at the gorgeous man as he laid there. Alec leaned up and pulled Magnus down for an intense kiss, getting them both hot and bothered. He grinded his hips up against Magnus, and Magnus groaned.

He let himself be carried away then.


	9. Chapter 9

Magnus laid on his side, looking at the sleeping beauty in front of him. Alec’s hair was messy, his face slightly flustered still. His chest rose and fell slowly, the male sleeping steady. A small smile played Magnus’s lips as he watched his husband be at peace for now. But it had come at a great cost to both of them, and Magnus feared the consequences. 

He couldn’t deny that he’d been turned on though. The way Alec had been so needy, so desperate. Magnus hadn’t envisioned Alec ever being like that, but seeing him like that had awakened a new interest for his husband. 

Magnus moved to sit up, being careful not to awaken the other man. He rose from his bed, snapped his fingers to get himself a little bit decently dressed. He walked over to the window that overviewed his balcony and the city below them. He sighed, leaning his forehead against it as he watched the people move about.

Mundanes were unaware of the dangers lurking in the shadows. And both shadowhunters and the downworlders tended to keep it that way. They didn’t need to know about any of it. People alone were smart. But together, they were a herd of sheep. And that herd of sheep would go into a frenzied panic.

And whenever the human population went into a frenzied panic, it led to bad things. War, devastation. 

He sighed, pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes for a moment. The past few days had been so traumatic, for both Alec and himself. And he was scared they were never going to be able to go back to their old selves. They would always be… different. Even if just a little bit. Magnus was afraid of that, didn’t want that. But he had seen the extend of Alec’s traumas, his injuries, the scars he would bare forever. And he found himself uncertain of their faith.

Not that there was anything they could do about the future. All they could do was focus on the now. And Alec needed to focus on his recovery. And Magnus would help him through it, as best as he could. Even if it became difficult. Magnus was determined to help his husband in every way he could. He had to. That’s what they were husbands for. To help each other through happiness, but also through the bad. Magnus would never abandon Alec. Especially not now. 

He opened his eyes and opened the door to the balcony. It was fairly chilly outside, but Magnus didn’t really care. He stepped onto the balcony and placed his hands on the railing. He was determined on punishing the warlock that had caused Alec such harm. He would definitely not let the man go unpunished. 

Magnus took a seat in a chair. He closed his eyes.

_Magnus found himself back into the chair that kept him tied down. He frowned, struggled against the chains. But it was no use. He looked ahead of him, saw Alec being kissed by the warlock. He was reluctant, afraid. Magnus clenched his fists, there was nothing he could do. He hated feeling this powerless and watching his husband suffer._

_Alec was forced to his knees and Magnus looked away. He didn’t want to see this._

_“Watch, Magnus,” the warlock said, laughing. He snapped his fingers, forcing Magnus to watch._

_Magnus watched with anger in his eyes. Watched as his husband was forced to pleasure the warlock. He took a deep breath, forced himself to remain quiet, remain calm._

_Then, Alec was forced up, and bent over at the waist. His hands were tied behind his back, rendering them useless. The position was awkward and painful, but what was to come was even worse. He tried his best to keep himself quiet as the warlock used him, but he couldn’t help the tears. Couldn’t help the quiet sobs making it past his lips. Then he was turned around and forced to look at Magnus. His eyes said it all. He felt so guilty for letting this happen._

_A knife was pressed to his throat. Alec mouthed ‘I’m sorry’ to Magnus, right before his throat was slit._

Magnus awoke with a start, shooting up in the chair. His eyes scanned the surroundings, but he found himself back home. He frowned, getting up. The sun was rising. He wondered how long he had been asleep. And if Alec was okay.

The smell of fresh coffee lured him to the kitchen. Alec was there, humming to himself. His back turned to Magnus.

Magnus inspected the wounds, it looked clean, looked like it was healing. Magnus was glad about that. He had been worried about Alec’s back, considering the damage that had been done to him. But to see it healing, slowly but surely, made him a little bit more at ease. 

Alec turned around, and smiled at Magnus. 

“Good morning,” he said, sounding cheerful. “You want coffee?”

“Yes, please.” Magnus smiled back, glad to see Alec in such a cheerful mood. Even if he questioned it.

Alec handed him a fresh cup of coffee, and then took his own. Both of them sipped the hot beverage in silence.

“How are you feeling?” Magnus asked, breaking the silence.

“Good,” Alec admitted. “A lot better than yesterday. Thank you.”

“No regrets?” Magnus bit the inside of his cheek.

Alec shook his head and put his cup down. “No, not at all. It helped me a lot. Do you regret it?”

He knew he had been pushing Magnus for it. Maybe had even pushed too far, and he felt guilty about that. It had helped him, though. He’d slept a steady night, no nightmares. Although when he found his bed empty, he’d been wondering why. He’d then found Magnus asleep on the balcony, and had decided to brew some fresh coffee for the both of them.

“No,” Magnus said, and smiled. He was relieved that Alec hadn’t had any regrets. This made him feel a lot better. He finished his cup of coffee. 

“There is something we need to talk about, though.” Magnus looked down, uncertain. He knew that if he wanted answers out of the warlock, he would have to bring in Alec. Because only Alec would be able to question him, get some answers out of him. But Magnus hated having to ask Alec something like that.

Alec frowned, looking at Magnus. He seemed troubled, and it worried Alec. He put his cup down and took a hold of Magnus’s hands. “What is it?”

“The warlock,” Magnus said, looking up at Alec. “He won’t answer any questions. He only wants to talk to you.”

“Oh…” Alec looked down, thought about it. He really didn’t want to face the warlock, considering what he had been through because of it. But he knew that if they wanted answers, he would have to. He looked back up at Magnus and nodded.

“That’s fine,” he said.

“You don’t have to,” Magnus said, wanting to make sure that Alec knew that. “If you don’t want it, it’s okay. We’ll figure something out.”

Alec chuckled. “I know,” he said, and pecked Magnus on his lips. “But it’s fine,” he said, looking at his husband. “I’ll be okay. We need answers.”

Magnus wondered how Alec could be so strong after all that he had been through. But he was glad that Alec seemed to be doing so well. “Okay,” he said. “I’ll be at your side the entire time.”

Alec nodded, and took a step back. “Let’s have breakfast.”

They ate breakfast together, in comfortable silence. Magnus was worried about Alec, though. Even if he was seemingly doing so well, keeping himself so strong. He admired his husband’s strength, but he also knew that being so strong was not easy. So he would keep a close eye on his husband, to make sure Alec truly was okay.

After they had breakfast together, they got dressed. Alec pulled on his jacket and looked at himself in the mirror. He smiled faintly, then turned around to Magnus. His husband always looked so magnificent. He wrapped his arms around Magnus’s waist, hugging him from behind.

“I love you, Magnus.” 

Magnus smiled, placing his hands on Alec’s. “I love you too,” he said, pressing a kiss to the side of Alec’s head. He turned around in Alec’s arms and looked at his husband. 

Alec smiled and let go. He was anxious to come face to face with his kidnapper, but it had to be done. And he would, so they would get the answers that they needed before handing over the warlock to the clave.

They left the apartment together, holding hands. As they walked over the streets towards the Institute, they were silent. Both were nervous. And they could feel it radiating from each other. But still, they held each other’s hands, smiled at each other every once in a while, until the Institute came into view. Alec tensed up, but Magnus squeezed his hand gently.

They entered the Institute. Alec ducked his head, didn’t really dare to look at anyone. He wasn’t sure if they would judge him or not. But if they did, he didn’t want to see it.

The pair were greeted by Izzy and Jace.

“Alec!” Jace said. “Good to see you.”

“How are you?” Izzy asked, more worried.

Alec looked up at them and smiled. “I’m good,” he said. “Recovering, slowly. But thanks to Magnus, I’ve been doing good.”

Izzy smiled at them. But her smile quickly fell.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” she asked. She didn’t want to force her brother to do something that would trigger him. She was worried for him.

“Izzy,” Alec said. “I’ll be fine, I promise. I want answers as badly as you do,” he explained. “So let’s do this.”

“Okay.” She guided them all down to the cells, where the warlock was strapped to a chair, unable to move.

Alec swallowed, tensing up again. He chewed the bottom of his lip as the warlock came into his view, flashbacks threatening to make him break down. He took a deep breath and forced himself to relax. He as going to be okay.

He entered the cell, followed by Magnus. The moment the warlock saw him, his face lit up, for a short moment.

“Get out,” the warlock growled, looking at Magnus.

“You can talk to us, or not at all.” Magnus crossed his arms over his chest.

The warlock shrugged and remained silent. This angered Magnus. How he wished he could get his hands on the prisoner and hurt him.

Alec turned to Magnus. “Go, I’ll be okay.”

Magnus left the cell, reluctant. He stood in front of the window, not liking this at all. 

Alec turned back to the warlock and looked at him. “What’s your name?” he asked.

“My name is Thomas,” the warlock said, looking at Alec. “But that’s not what you want to know, do you?” 

The warlock chuckled, seeing the anxiety Alec had in his eyes. He smirked, glad knowing that the man was still afraid of him.

“No,” Alec admitted, looking down. “I want to know why you picked me.”

“Look at me,” the warlock ordered, and Alec obeyed like a puppy dog. The warlock looked at Alec and smiled. “Because you’re gorgeous,” he said. “And because I have a… dislike for your husband.”

“Why?” Alec asked, confused.

“It’s because of him that my father died, when he took over Edom.” The warlock looked towards the window, then back at Alec. “So I had to hurt him, even though I didn’t get to hurt him in the ways I intended.” 

Alec looked at the warlock for a moment. His breathing was quicker than he wanted it to, but the warlock scared him. He swallowed. 

“Well, that sucks,” he said, and shrugged, as if he didn’t care.

“Yeah, it definitely did,” the warlock said. The chains unlocked, and he got up. He patted off his clothes and looked at Alec.

Alec rushed to the door, but it wouldn’t open. Magnus tried as well from the other side, but no luck. He tried his magic, give it his all, but the door simply would not open. He looked through the window as Alec was cornered by the warlock, seeing how terrified Alec was. He tried his magic on the window, but it bounced back, causing him to duck.

Izzy and Jace were trying to find a way in as well, trying to open the door or get through the glass. But it was useless.

Alec shook his head, pushing his hands against the chest of Thomas. “Please,” he whispered.

“Now, don’t be like this,” Thomas said, pressing himself against Alec. “It only turns me on,” he whispered in Alec’s ear.

Alec froze, letting his hands rest at his side. He closed his eyes, body shaking with fear. This couldn’t be happening.

“Shh,” Thomas said, and then kissed Alec on his lips. 

Alec didn’t have to be ordered to do what Thomas wanted. He knew, submitted, let it happening. Like a little, obedient lamb. 

Alec was forced to the front, to the glass. There, a knife pressed against his throat. Tears escaped his eyes, rolling down his cheeks. He put his hands on the glass, looking at Magnus.

Magnus placed his hands on the place as Alec’s on the other side of the glass. 

The blade dug into Alec’s skin, causing some blood to escape the wound. Alec closed his eyes, breathing harshly. Thomas pressed himself closer into Alec’s space, against his back. Alec’s hands formed into fists.

“No,” Magnus said, desperate. “Let him go!” Magnus banged his fists on the glass. “Let him go! Take my place, whatever. But let him go!”

“How cute,” Thomas said, peeking over Alec’s shoulder and looking at Magnus. “But no. If I took you, you wouldn’t feel what I felt when my father died. You need to feel the loss, the despair, anger. Everything I felt. And that can only be achieved if I take away what is closest to you. He was going to die at some point, anyway. He’s a mortal, after all.”

Magnus shook his head, watched Alec as the blade dug deeper into Alec’s neck. He once more banged his fists against the window. Tried his magic once more, but it was no use. They were forced to watch as Alec lost more and more blood, as the cut became deeper and deeper. As Alec grew weaker, sunk to his knees because he was too weak to keep himself standing.

Then, all of a sudden, Thomas froze, eyes wide. He stumbled back, knife dropping onto the floor. He looked down, an arrow piercing his heart. Then he collapsed, and passed.

Alec leaned his forehead against the window, breathing hard. He was glad that he had taken a spare arrow with him, just in case. Even if it had taken him a while to pierce Thomas’s heart. 

Magnus tried the door and finally managed to get in. He was followed by Jace and Izzy. Magnus got onto his knees and quickly hugged Alec, holding him tight. He had never been this relieved to hug his husband.

Jace moved his stele over Alec’s healing rune, the cut on his neck closing up. Izzy came to them as well.

“He’s dead,” she said, sounding relieved, and yet disappointed. But she was glad Alec was alive.

They left the cell, Alec still feeling a little shaky. They went to an empty conference room and had him sit down, as Alec stared ahead of him, quiet.

“Alexander?” Magnus asked.

But the boy remained quiet, wouldn’t say anything to anyone. Eventually, Magnus portalled them home, after promising Izzy and Jace to keep them updated. Because they too, were worried about Alec.

At home, Alec’s silence continued. He wouldn’t eat or drink anything. Eventually, they found themselves in bed, Alec drifted off into sleep. But Magnus stayed awake, worried for his husband.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aight things are on the mend again! Because besides loving and writing mostly angst my next favourite thing to write is fluff.
> 
> Also, sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes.

Magnus was exhausted when morning came. During the night, he'd gotten himself out of bed and had drunk quite the few glasses of alcohol. Perhaps not a smart idea. But considering what he'd been through the past few days, what his husband had been through. Magnus, for a moment, didn't really care what was smart and what wasn't. He needed to cope in some way. Alcohol had always done it for him. And being a warlock, his tolerance was high.

He was worried for Alec. His silence had terrified him. Alec wasn't always good with talking about his emotions, but he always tried. To have his husband be so silent now, well, Magnus wasn't sure what to think. Alec had agreed to meeting with Thomas and now Magnus regretted even letting him. Alec had almost died in the cell with Thomas. And it was thanks to Alec's own instincts and intellect that he had survived. Magnus's heart skipped a beat at the memory of Alec sinking to his knees as he lost blood. The warlock was now dead. He was glad, for a part. Magnus wanted to get his hands on Thomas and torture him for all that he had put Alec through.

The chance was big that Alec was never going to get over it again. That he was forever going to be traumatised. And Magnus was uncertain how to deal with that. Besides that, tomorrow was their wedding anniversary. But the plans he had made just seemed so vague, so far away. 

A hand on his shoulder startled him from his thoughts. Magnus looked up to see Alec looking at him with worried eyes. He almost wanted to laugh. Alec being worried about him!

“Morning,” Alec said.

And after such a long silence, Alec's voice sounded like absolute heaven. To hear that deep voice again, Magnus was relieved. For now. For a little bit. He remained worried for Alec's state of mind.

“Good morning, Alexander.”

Alec smiled, and bent down to press a kiss to the top of Magnus's head. He stretched out, tshirt lifting to show a hint of his belly.

Magnus poked it.

Alec giggled. He pulled his shirt down and looked at his husband. 

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“I’m good. What about you?” Magnus questioned.

“Better.” 

Alec sat down across from Magnus and looked at his husband. “A lot better. My mind must have locked itself down yesterday. I'm sorry.”

Magnus frowned. There was absolutely no reason for Alec to apologise. He could understand. Alec must have gone into shock after all that had happened to him. It worried him, though.

“There is no need to apologise, Alexander.” Magnus stood up and looked at his husband. “What you have been through is not easy. It's traumatic, horrifying. So I understand. Just know that I will always be here for you, whenever you need me. I promise you that.”

Alec choked up, tears burning at the corners of his eyes. Magnus walked over and hugged him, and Alec clung to him like a lost puppy. It was true, of course. Alec was traumatised and he was going to need a lot of time to heal from it. And he definitely was going to need Magnus by his side for it. But hearing it from Magnus all but confirmed it. And that hurt. He wanted to forget and move on. But he needed time. He needed to be patient with himself, let himself heal from what he had gone through. Even if he was so eager to try and just move on.

“Thank you,” Alec said softly. He pulled back from the hug and let his husband wipe away his tears.

“Always,” Magnus said. “You are my husband. I will help you through everything.”

Alec nodded. He couldn't believe how amazing Magnus was, and that he was his husband. Alec felt incredibly lucky. He couldn't have a better person by his side.

After some coffee and some breakfast both sat down on the chairs on the balcony. New York was waking up, getting ready to go again for another day. Mundanes hurried about to get to work on time. Alec quite liked watching New York from the balcony. It felt so distant and yet so close.

“Our wedding anniversary is tomorrow,” Alec said after a long silence.

He had thought about it. He wanted to keep it simple. A nice dinner with just the two of them. Something romantic. They deserved that after all.

Magnus nodded. “It is.” He didn't say anything else.

“We should go out for dinner,” Alec proposed.

Magnus turned to Alec and looked at him. Of course he wanted to go out for dinner. But he wasn't so sure. Thomas's words had shook him. Magnus had been the cause of Thomas's father dying. And now he worried who else was going to come for him. Warlocks could be unforgiving. 

“Okay,” Magnus said.

“You don't want to?” Alec asked.

Magnus looked away. He sighed.

“Of course I do, Alexander. I'm just worried about you,” Magnus said.

“Bullshit,” Alec said. “What is bothering you?”

Magnus closed his eyes and let the silence go on for a bit. But he knew Alec was watching him closely for an answer. 

“I’m worried that someone else is out there for us,” Magnus said, opening his eyes and looking at Alec. “Maybe another warlock who blames me for the death of their father as well.”

Alec hadn't thought about that. He frowned, his turn to look away and be silent for a bit as he thought about that possibility. Were they ever going to be safe? Perhaps not.

“I see,” Alec muttered. 

Once more it was silent between them. They each looked over the city. Alec wasn't sure what to say. He just wanted to have a nice day, for once. And not have to worry about anything. But it seemed like life was against them for now. 

“We’ll figure it out,” Alec said, determined. “But I really want to have dinner with you.”

Magnus nodded. “Okay,” he said. “You have a place in mind?”

Alec thought about that. He really didn't. Perhaps he could ask Simon for a place to have dinner at. Or Magnus probably already had a place in mind.

“No, I don't. Do you?” Alec asked, looking at his husband.

Magnus smiled. Of course he did. In his long life he'd eaten at so many restaurants around the world, he knew just the perfect one. It would take them away from New York for a little bit as well. Perhaps that would do them good.

“Yeah. A small restaurant in France. It's perfect. It's romantic, generally not very busy. No reservations needed.”

Alec nodded and smiled. “Good,” he said.

He was already looking forward to tomorrow. He loved going out for dinner with Magnus because he knew so many different places. And they could just portal themselves halfway across the world if they wanted to. It didn't matter.

The rest of the morning lasted in silence as they sat on the balcony. They just enjoyed the view, the city sounds, people hurrying about. It was peaceful.

Alec decided he needed a shower. He got up and stretched, then looked down at Magnus. 

“I’m going to take a shower,” Alec declared.

“Okay,” Magnus said, looking up at his husband. “You go do that.”

Alec nodded and left the balcony, stepping back inside. He found his way to the bathroom and closed the door. He didn't bother to lock it, he didn't need to. Magnus would never just come barging in without asking if it was okay.

He turned the shower on and let the water heat up. He pulled his tshirt off and pushed his boxers down. Then he tried to take a look at his back through the mirror.

This was the first time he got a proper look at it. And it shocked him. He covered his mouth with his hand as he watched his back, taking in the damage that had been done to him. His back would be nothing more but scar tissue. He hadn't realised how bad it was, but he hadn't expected it to be this bad. The good news was that it was healing well and fast, though. Alec was glad about that. But realising now how bad his wounds had been, startled him.

He sighed. There was nothing to be done about it now. He stepped under the shower and closed his eyes, letting the warm water wash away his tenseness. His back burned when it came in contact with the water, but after a few minutes it died down. Alec thought back about the past few days.

He was raped in an alley. And then kidnapped and raped repeatedly until Magnus showed up. Alec remembered being so weak he couldn't even really stand. Thomas was a powerful warlock. 

The memories would continue to haunt him for a long time. Alec wasn't sure if he was ever going to get over it. Even now, he could feel hands roaming his skin. Thomas's hands. He hated the feeling. It made him feel nauseous. Even after Magnus had helped him, he could still feel Thomas.

Alec opened his eyes and stared ahead of himself. He wondered how anyone could ever get over it. He sighed, turned to the shampoos and lathered his hair with one of the shampoos. He closed his eyes and washed it out. He then washed his body in the hopes of lessening Thomas's grasp on him.

He turned the shower off. Alec grabbed a towel and dried himself off, being careful with his back. He got dressed again and turned to the mirror.

He looked exhausted and thin, still. No wonder, he had barely been eating the past few days. It was difficult to keep anything in when Thomas was constantly on his mind, making him nauseous. But he knew he had to start eating properly again and gain some weight. He also wanted to get back to his workout and build up some muscle again.

Alec opened the door and stepped out into the bedroom. He smiled. It was one of his favourite places. They had made so many memories here. He hoped they would make many more great memories here as well. Because he loved Magnus. And he was deadset on not letting this ruin him, ruin them. They had gone through enough trouble already. They deserved a break.

He pulled on some jeans. They were a little too big around his waist. He grimaced. Yeah, he definitely needed to gain some weight again.

Magnus knocked on the open door before entering the bedroom. He smiled at Alec.

“You look good,” he said.

“Thanks,” Alec said. “I need to gain some weight though. And start working out again to build up my muscles.”

Magnus nodded. “That sounds like a good idea.”

They both chuckled, both thinking back to when Magnus was a mundane and they trained together. Magnus totally kicked Alec's ass, and in turn, well, he couldn't complain about the workout in bed. It truly was one of Magnus's favourite memories, even if it hadn't felt like that at the time. He could appreciate it now.

The thought of it turned him on though, and Magnus quickly turned away. “Come on, you need to eat lunch.” 

Alec frowned. Obviously he'd seen Magnus get turned on. He couldn't deny he wasn't either. He shrugged and followed after Magnus.

Magnus cooked them up some fancy lunch and together they ate in silence. Alec tried to think of something to say, to reassure Magnus that it was okay. He just wasn't sure how. He'd never been good with his feelings and expressing them. Even if Magnus thought he was. As a shadowhunter he'd been taught to keep emotions at bay. But ever since he met Magnus, he knew he needed to consider his emotions as well whenever he did anything.

“Magnus,” Alec started, looking at his husband. “It’s okay,” he said.

And Magnus knew exactly what Alec meant. He sighed, looking at Alec. “Alexander,” he mumbled. “I just don't want you to feel obligated or anything. You need to work through your traumas and I don't want to push you into doing something you're not ready for.”

“Magnus,” Alec said. “You won't. I know you're worried, but you won't ever force me into doing anything. If there is something I don't want to do, I'll let you know. I am not made of glass, or fragile.”

Magnus smirked. “Are you sure of that?”

Alec wiggled his eyebrows. “Honestly, you underestimate how strong I am.”

“Like you underestimated how good I could fight when we trained?” Magnus shot back.

Edgy. Alec smiled, feeling like they were back to their old selves, for now. Like the past few days had never happened and they were okay.

“I suppose,” Alec said and shrugged. 

They both laughed.

“Maybe we should train together,” Magnus said. “It’s been a while.”

Alec nodded. “Then we definitely should.”

They both got up and went to get dressed properly for a training session. Then they left the apartment and headed towards the Institute.


	11. Chapter 11

The pair walked the streets of New York. The Institute wasn't too far away, but they took their time. Just to enjoy this peaceful moment. Magnus was relieved that Alec was feeling a lot better again. It made him hopeful that some day, everything would be normal. As if Thomas had never ruined their lives. But on the other hand, he was careful with being too hopeful. Alec had a long way to go before he was fully recovered. And his husband would carry the scars and the traumas with him for the rest of his life.

They reached the Institute. Both were silent, just enjoying the moment of them being together. Alec felt good. Better than he had the past few days. He smiled as the Institute came into view. It was his second home, one of his favourite places. 

They walked inside, unbothered by the many shadowhunters fussing about. It seemed busy today. Magnus took Alec's hand and held it. Alec smiled, squeezed Magnus's hand and guided him through the busy shadowhunters to an empty training room. There was one available luckily. It offered quite some space for them to train. And Alec was sure they needed that space, knowing himself and knowing Magnus.

Some of the best memories had been made here.

“So,” Magnus said, as he let go of Alec's hand and started warming up. “Are you ready to get your ass kicked?”

Alec chuckled, doing some simple stretching. “I think it's you who's going to get his ass kicked.” 

Magnus stood upright and grabbed one of the wooden training sticks. Alec grabbed the other, and both got into a defensive mode. This was all just fun and games. But Magnus had to admit that seeing Alec in his shadowhunter mode, as he called it, was nothing short of mesmerising. And hot. But there was mainly something else he wanted to learn today.

"Ready to lose, warlock?" Alec teased. "Loser treats the winner."

Magnus chuckled. "Then I'm going to have a fantastic time after this. Can't wait to see you be so pretty and good for me."

Alec blushed. Of course Magnus would say something like that. He liked it, though. Didn't deny that. He liked dirty and sweet talking Magnus.

Alec made the first move. Magnus, being as extra as he was, dodged with a twirl and took a jab at Alec, who also easily dodged.

This was just a simple game. Alec knew Magnus was a lot better at fighting than he may seem. Even though Magnus had his magic, they liked training like this. Simple, fair. They were both equally matched. At least, if both were healthy. Alec was a little out of shape, which he had already noticed. And he still had to be careful of his back. And Magnus knew.

“Come on then, pretty boy,” Magnus challenged.

Alec moved again, stepping forward and forcing Magnus to step back as the sound of wood clashing against wood sounded through the training room. He won the first round as he finished Magnus off with the stick to Magnus's neck.

They relaxed, Alec moving back to his original position. He was sweating, a little out of breath.

Magnus took that to his advantage and moved, quickly challenging Alec until he settled the score.

“You’re slow,” Magnus teased.

“I have a disadvantage,” Alec mumbled.

“Oh, so I am supposed to take it easy on you then?” Magnus smirked.

“No,” Alec said, sounding determined.

“Alexander,” Magnus said, relaxing his pose. He decided to change subjects and do something that was a little less physically demanding on Alec's recovering body. “I want to learn how to use the bow.”

Alec stared at him for a long minute. Because imagining Magnus fighting with a bow, shooting arrow after arrow, well, that was something he'd been fantasising about. And hearing now that Magnus wanted to learn how to use the bow, he couldn't hide his proud smile.

“Okay,” he said, putting the stick away. He opened the weapon's drawer and took out the bow, and arrows. It felt so good in his hands, natural. It was his weapon of choice. Had been ever since he was younger. He was an expert in using the bow, and always used that to his advantage.

Magnus smiled, watching Alec as he took the bow. He knew just how much a bow meant to Alec. He was thinking of having a specially designed one made for Alec, for his birthday.

“Have you ever used a bow?” Alec asked, as he turned to Magnus.

Magnus shook his head. “No,” he answered.

Alec handed Magnus the bow and took an arrow. He stood behind Magnus and showed him how to hold the bow, how to knock the arrow and how to pull it back, ready to let go. He turned with Magnus to one of the targets and took a step back, letting Magnus shoot his first arrow on his own.

Magnus shot decent, for a first try. But then, Alec was an amazing teacher.

Alec got back into position behind Magnus and this time helped him aim. Magnus, in turned, gently grinded back against Alec. Alec tightened his grip and cleared his throat, getting Magnus to stop. He smiled, aimed with Magnus. 

“Now let go,” Alec whispered in Magnus's ear.

Magnus let go, and the arrow hit bullseye. He smiled, lowering the bow and turning around. He looked at Alec. “You’re an amazing teacher.”

“Even if you are being so distracting?” Alec said. He kissed Magnus, the bow dropped to the ground as Magnus kissed Alec back. 

“You let yourself be distracted,” Magnus mumbled into the kiss.

“I can hit the bullseye wether I'm distracted or not,” Alec said.

Magnus pulled back feom the kiss and smirked. “Show me then.”

Alec bend down and took the bow. He took an arrow and knocked it, before turning to the target. Magnus got behind him, grinding into him. It was distracting. Alec aimed and released, and the arrow hit bullseye perfectly in the middle.

Five arrows landed in the bullseye as Magnus distracted him. But Alec was too good at using the bow to not have the arrows land in the bullseye. He chuckled, looking at Magnus.

“Very impressive,” Magnus commented.

Alec put the bow back together with the arrows and smiled proudly at his husband. He approached and kissed Magnus.

Magnus kissed him back, with abandon.

Alec pulled back, out of breath. “Bedroom,” he mumbled, and got a headstart. 

Magnus followed after him. Luckily, Alec's bedroom wasn't too far away. They stumbled into the room and closed the door, locking it. They didn't need anyone to interrupt them.

Alec let himself fall onto the bed after discarding his shoes. Magnus was quickly upon him, straddling his waist and initiating a passionate kiss.

Magnus was very careful though, watching Alec's body closely. He didn't want to force Alec, even if Alec reassured him he wasn't. But so far so good.

He lifted Alec's shirt and with some help pulled it off. His own shirt was discarded as well, tossed aside. They kissed again.

Alec removed his own pants, kicking it aside. He tugged on Magnus's pants, who pulled back and smirked.

“Patience, pretty boy,” he said. Magnus pulled his own pants off and watched Alec get flustered. He would never get tired of seeing his husband flustered and eager. 

Alec groaned, rolling his eyes. But he let Magnus take his time, because he secretly loved it when Magnus slowed him down. Alec still considered himself very new to anything sexual and always looked to Magnus for any guidance.

Magnus bend down, starting with a kiss on Alec's lips. Alec kissed him back eagerly. Magnus smiled, and moved his lips down to Alec's neck. Alec moved his head back to give Magnus all the space he needed.

Magnus trailed his lips down Alec's neck to his chest. He circled his tongue around one of Alec's nipples. Alec arched his back and moaned. It was the most magical sound to Magnus. He sucked on it gently, ripping another moan from his husband.

Alex was eager, needed Magnus to go on. “Magnus, please,” Alec whined.

Magnus chuckled, which caused a shiver down Alec's spine. He let go of Alec's nipple and moved his kisses down Alec's chest and belly. The man writhed under him. Always a good sign. Magnus slowly raked his teeth down Alec's clothed length, which was hard. Alec was definitely turned on and so was Magnus.

Magnus snapped his fingers and Alec's underwear disappeared to who knew where. A hand wrapped around Alec's length and stroked slow but firm.

Alec was breathless, eyes closed as pleasure wrecked his body. Magnus knew exactly what to do to him.

Magnus bend down and licked a wet stripe up Alec's cock. The moan coming from the man under him was music, so he repeated the process, before wrapping his lips around Alec's head.

Alec gripped the bed sheets in tight fists, hips moving upwards. He was already so close and Magnus wasn't even inside him yet.

“M- Magnus,” Alec stuttered, desperate. “Please.”

Magnus let go of Alec's cock and a bottle of lube appeared in his hand. “Okay,” he said with a breathless laugh.

He coated a finger in the substance. Alec dutifully spread his legs to give Magnus the access he needed. He felt a finger ghost against his hole and for a moment he tensed up.

“Breathe, Alexander. It's just me,” Magnus assured him.

Alec relaxed and Magnus slowly pressed his finger into him. He groaned, feeling the burn of his hole stretch around the digit. But it felt good.

Magnus was slow and steady in prepping his husband. He knew Alec's traumas and he wanted to be careful not to trigger any of the bad memories. 

“Magnus,” Alec whispered. “Fuck me, please.”

“I can't deny such a request,” Magnus said, pulling his fingers out. Another snap of his fingers had Alec opening his eyes and looking at his husband. And then, Magnus filled him.

Alec grabbed onto the bed sheets again, fisting them tight in his hands as he got used to the feeling of Magnus inside him. He breathed through the slight burn and relaxed. He nodded at Magnus.

Magnus thrusted shallow and steady. A slow rhythm to make sure Alec was okay. But as the boy moaned, eager, he sped up his space.

“Does that feel good, pretty boy?” Magnus asked.

“It feels amazing,” Alec said, smiling up at Magnus. He pulled his husband down for a kiss.

Magnus gripped Alec's cock and stroked it in time with his thrusts. He knew Alec was closw and so was he. They were both eagerly chasing their own pleasure, drowning in moans and kisses.

“Come for me,” Magnus said.

Alec came on cue. Magnus was closely after him. 

They both laid there panting. Magnus was the first to move, gently pulling out. With a snap of his fingers the mess they had made was cleaned up and the both of them were wearing boxers and tshirts again. Magnus laid down beside Alec, turning on his side to take in the sight of his husband.

Alec opened his eyes and stared up at the ceiling. He then turned his head and looked at Magnus. He smiled, pecked Magnus's lips. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Magnus said.

Alec cuddled up to him, resting his head on Magnus's chest and closing his eyes. He drifted off quickly, falling into a light slumber.

Magnus stayed awake, watching over Alec. His husband was so good, so gorgeous. He was glad that Alec had enjoyed it. Things seemed to be returning to normal again, for now. Magnus was glad about that, he hoped that meant that Alec was making progress, getting better. 

He continued to be worried though. He was still mulling over his thought of others being out there wanting to hurt them. He wished it wasn't true. That Thomas had been an exception. But he couldn't be so sure about that. He looked down at Alec and swore on his immortal life that he would protect Alec at all costs. Magnus had lived a long life. And if it came to it, he would sacrifice himself for his husband. Because Alec deserved everything, absolute everything.

Magnus moved a lock out of Alec's face and admired the beauty. He smiled, remembering their first meeting, their first drink. It had been chaos back then, but ever since they got married, things had settled down. Until now, anyway. He was happy that their anniversary was coming up tomorrow though. And excited to celebrate it with just Alec. They both deserved some good happiness. A nice dinner at a quiet restaurant would definitely do it. Take them away from the busy streets of New York. Magnus was looking forward to tomorrow. He hoped the day would be perfect. A quiet morning with breakfast, some easy lunch. And then a nice dinner. 

He closed his eyes after a while, everything seemed so peaceful for now. Alec's slow and steady breathing eventually lulled him to sleep as well.


	12. Chapter 12

Alec woke up towards the late afternoon. He found himself wrapped in Magnus's arms, and he smiled. It was his favourite place to be.

But his stomach churned. He wasn't feeling well. He placed a hand on his belly. He was also sweating, even though he was shivering. He frowned, that was definitely not good. He didn't want to become sick at all.

Bile rose in his throat and Alec knew he needed to find the closest toilet. Gently, he removed himself from Magnus's hold and ran for the nearest bathroom, passing several shadowhunters. Once found, he sunk to his knees over the toilet bowl and spilled the contents of his stomach.

A shiver ran down his spine. He sat back, pulled his knees up against his chest. He didn't understand why he was feeling so sick all of a sudden. Perhaps it was his body's reaction to himself. He had been pushing himself to act normal. To act like everything was fine. Going as far as to have sex with his husband. Alec had enjoyed it. He definitely could not complain. But it had also taken him a lot of effort not to break down, get lost in the traumatic memories that haunted him.

Maybe he needed to slow down. But Alec didn't want to. He just wanted everything to be fine. Pretend like he was good. Even if he wasn't. Magnus was already super worried about him and he hated it.

Alec flushed the toilet and got up. He walked back to the bedroom and found Magnus still asleep. He smiled, got himself dressed, and quietly left again. He snuck out of the Institute and roamed the streets as the sun set. It started raining as well. He shivered.

He found himself in a liquor store. Alec looked around all the different bottles that were up for offer. He huffed. Even after all these years the amount of different alcoholic beverages made it a daunting task to pick anything.

He went for what he knew. Taking a few bottles, paying the mundane behind the counter and leaving the store with a bag full of glass bottles. He carried it home, towards their apartment. Luckily he had the key.

Alec unlocked the door and opened it. He stepped inside, shut the door, and put the bag onto the kitchen counter. He unpacked the bottles and opened the first one, grabbing a glass and pouring himself a drink. He threw it back, swallowed it down, and let it burn. He closed his eyes and relished in the flavour for a moment, before pouring himself another one.

Obviously, Magnus was going to be pissed at him when he found out. But Alec didn't care for now. He needed a distraction from Thomas's hold on him. Needed to not feel anything for a bit. And he knew drinking would help him with that.

The first bottle was empty quickly. He opened the second and poured the drink. He didn't know why he even bothered to pour the alcohol into a glass when he could just drink it straight from the bottle. But it seemed better to drink it from a glass.

Alec sat down and sighed. What a mess his life was. 

A knock on the door. His first thought was that it must be Magnus. He smiled, intoxicated by the alcohol, and skipped to the door. He opened it, to come face to face with his mother.

“Mother!” he said, sounding cheerful. “Come in!”

Maryse stepped inside, immediately knowing something was wrong.

“Alec,” Maryse said. “Are you okay?”

Alec laughed. “Why wouldn't I be? I mean, I'm drunk so that I can forget about my rapist for a while.”

Maryse grew pale then. She stared at Alec in shock. She hadn't been informed on what had happened to her son. And hearing such a statement. Her heart sunk, broke into many pieces as she watched Alec throw back another drink.

“What happened?” she asked.

Alec shrugged. “I came back from a job. Took an alley shortcut. Got overpowered by a warlock. He raped me there. Then a bit later I got kidnapped. But Magnus, Izzy and Jace saved me. I killed him. All's fine now.” 

Maryse wanted to hug her son so bad. But she wasn't sure. To know her son had gone through something as traumatic as that terrified her. She wondered why no one had told her though. Perhaps they wanted to wait until Alec had felt a little better.

“Mother, want a drink?” Alec asked.

“No, thank you.” Maryse took out her phone and dialled Magnus's number. She waited.

Magnus groaned as he woke up from his sleep. He grabbed his phone which was tucked under the pillow. He looked at the contact, frowned and answered the call.

“Hello Maryse,” he said.

“Magnus,” Maryse said. “I’m at your apartment.”

“Oh,” Magnus mumbled. He turned on his side, expecting Alec to be there. But the bed is empty. “Well, Alec and I will be right there.”

“Alec is already here,” she said, and sighed. 

“Then I will be right there.” He hung up in a hurry. Magnus got himself dressed in a hurry, took his belongings and portaled himself back to his apartment.

There, he was met with the mess that was Alec.

Alec had finished the second bottle.

“Husbaaaaaand,” he slurred, smiling at Magnus. “Mom’s here. I told her what happened.”

Magnus looked at Maryse. He gave her an apologetic smile before he quickly took the bottle from Alec and gently restrained him. 

“Alexander, this has to stop.”

Alec pouted, looking at Magnus. “Unfair,” he slurred. He reached up to kiss Magnus, but he was denied. He got himself away from Magnus and stumbled into the couch, falling down on it. Within seconds he was asleep.

Magnus sighed, looking at his husband. He snapped his fingers and the mess disappeared. He then turned to Maryse.

“Sorry for that,” he apologised.

Maryse sat down and looked at Magnus. “Why didn't anyone tell me?”

Magnus sat down as well. “Alec didn't want anyone to know, initially. Jace and Izzy got to know, but that's about it. He begged us not to tell you.”

Maryse nodded. She looked over at her son and sighed. To think any of her children would go through that. She didn't expect that. 

“I suppose he hasn't been dealing well,” Maryse noted.

Magnus shook his head. “Not exactly, no. This is the second time that he's drunk as much as now. I guess to drown out the memories.”

Maryse took a deep breath, and released it. “His attacker is dead?”

Magnus nodded again. “The warlock's name was Thomas. He only wanted to talk to Alec, so we brought him in. Alec agreed himself. He was alone in the cell, when Thomas broke free.”

Magnus remembered it so clearly. The picture of Alec on his knees, knife digging into the skin of his neck. Almost dying. He shuddered. He would never forget about that.

“He almost died. But Alexander is smart and had taken an arrow with him. Thomas was stabbed right through the heart.”

Maryse gulped. She looked back over at her son and hoped he would recover from this. She wished she could help him, but she was at a loss of words. And Magnus must have been having a hard time dealing with this as well.

“Oh Magnus,” she said, and scooted over to the warlock. She hugged him, and Magnus gladly accepted the hug. He let the tears roll, this had been taking an emotional toll on him as well.

“This must be really tough on you too.”

Magnus pulled back and nodded. He quickly wiped away the tears and took a deep breath. “I just want Alexander to get better. I know it will take time. He's not giving himself enough time to recover though. And I really worry.”

Maryse nodded. “I’ll always be here if you need help, or if you need to vent for a bit. You're family, Magnus. Know you're always welcome to contact me.”

Magnus smiled as he looked at Maryse. “Thank you.”

Alec started to wake up. He groaned, feeling even worse as he had before. He forced himself to sit up, coming face to face with Maryse and Magnus. He gulped and looked down, not wanting to see the disappointment on their faces.

“Alec,” Maryse said gently. She stood up and walked over to her son. “I can't imagine how much you're hurting. But I do know you need time to heal. You need to give yourself that time. Slow down, let things happen. Don't force yourself into things.”

“I know, mother.” Alec looked up at his mother. “I know.”

He stood up and hugged her. Maryse wrapped her arms around her son and they stood there silently, just relishing in the comfortable silence. Alec knew he needed to slow down. Even if he didn't want to. He couldn't continue on like he had. Because his body was not taking it.

He cried quietly in his mother's arms, and she held him, and let him. She knew her son didn't cry easily. 

Alec pulled back. Maryse wiped his tears. He sighed, feeling a little better, a little stronger. “I’m sorry,” he apologised.

“There is nothing to apologise for,” Magnus said, appearing in view. “Just let us help you. I know you're hesitant to accept any help. But you need it.”

Alec nodded. He smiled at his husband, once more wondering how he could have ended up with someone as amazing as Magnus. “I love you.”

Magnus smiled. “I love you too, Alexander.”

Alec sighed. He was exhausted, he definitely needed a good night's rest. He looked at Maryse. “I’m going to sleep, if you don't mind, mother.”

“Of course not,” Maryse said, and smiled at her son. “Go on. You must be tired.”

Alec nodded and left the two of them in the living room. He walked into the bedroom, undressed, crawled into bed and fell asleep almost right away.

Maryse sat down again. She was relieved that her son was going to get some rest.

Magnus sat down as well. “Would you like some wine?”

“Yes, please.” Maryse smiled at Magnus. A glass of wine appeared on the table and she took it. After a small sip, she put it down.

“I’m so grateful he has you,” she said. “He really needs you. You two are just made for each other. I can't imagine him with anyone else.”

Magnus chuckled. “Even though you were quite upset that I crashed the wedding, and then took your son.”

Maryse laughed at that memory. “Things were different then. Everything is looking so much better now.”

Magnus nodded. He was glad he had taken Isabelle's invitation. If he hadn't, he would have never married. Alec would have been stuck in an unhappy marriage. The Clave would have been the same. Downworlders would have no place in Alicante.

Yeah. Things were so much better now. And it was thanks to Alec's continued effort to include everyone, even downworlders. He had a lot of respect for his husband. For his accomplishments. And that Alec was his husband.

Maryse finished her glass of wine and stood up. She gathered her belongings and hugged Magnus again. “Keep me updated. And call me if you need me.”

“I will,” Magnus said. He walked her to the door and opened it. “Bye!”

Maryse took her leave. Magnus closed the door and relaxed. He decided the alcohol would have to be locked away. Alec couldn't be trusted with it, and he didn't want Alec to become an alcoholic. Although, by standards, he may already be. But he needed to prevent any further damage. He nodded to himself.

The warlock walked to his bedroom and quietly closed the door. He looked at Alec, curled up on one side of the bed. He admired his husband's features. The runes that ran along his body. The golden skin tone. The black hair. Alec was absolute perfection.

His back was looking better and better. No sign of infection. A few scars already. Magnus was glad Alec's back was healing so well.

He removed his shoes, pants and shirt before he crawled into bed with his husband. Gently, he pressed Alec against his chest and wrapped his arms around him. Alec cuddled into him even further, Magnus chuckling.

“Mhm,” Alec groaned, opening his eyes.

“I love you, Magnus.”

Magnus pressed a small kiss to Alec's shoulder. “I love you too, Alexander. Now go back to sleep.”

Alec did as he was told. He closed his eyes and fell back asleep, snoring lightly.

Magnus was endeared by the snoring. He closed his eyes as well and let sleep take him. Hoping to have a good night's rest for a bit. Because both of them really needed that.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took so long. Writing fluff is not my speciality, especially if I'm going through a bad time. So I hope you enjoy this anyway.

Golden light illuminated the bedroom. The sun was slowly rising, casting a golden glow through the room. In particular on Alec.

Magnus smiled, watching his sleeping husband. Magnus was already awake, but decided to let Alec sleep in. His husband needed it, he was sure. Considering the amount of alcohol he had poured back last night. But at least something good may have come from it. Maryse seemed to finally have knocked some sense into Alec.

Mothers could do that.

Magnus slowly stripped away the covers and sat up. He swung his legs out of bed, yawned, and got up. Today was their wedding anniversary. Magnus smiled, loving this day. The wedding was still fresh in his mind and he wouldn't have it any other way. He married the man of his dreams, and he was never letting him go. He waited centuries for Alec. And he was damn well sure he would spend centuries with his husband.

He quietly left the bedroom so he didn't wake up his husband. Magnus walked over to the balcony and opened the door, letting in fresh air. He revelled in the sunlight, giving his skin a golden glow. Mundanes below were once more hurrying about. 

He turned around and walked to the kitchen. He made a fresh pot of coffee, but waited for breakfast. He wasn't sure how long Alec would be asleep still. And he could wait. He wasn't that hungry anyway.

Magnus was looking forward to tonight. They would portal out of here and find themselves at a quiet little restaurant for some nice dinner. It would be good for the two of them to be away for a bit. Forget about all that had happened the past week. Magnus hated thinking of what Alec had gone through. And it wouldn't just go away. Alec needed time, lots of it. He hoped his husband realised that now. 

He just hated seeing his husband suffer.

Alec turned around in his sleep. He curled up into a fetal formation, mumbling softly, incoherently.

_Alec pulled on the chains as they engulfed his wrists. He needed to free himself so he could free Magnus and get them out of here. Thomas was going to hurt them if he didn't manage to free himself. He couldn't let that happen. He didn't want to die while Magnus watched, hopeless. He couldn't let that happen._

_But Thomas had other plans. The chains were too strong to be broken, and wrapped around Alec's wrists too tight to slip free. Alec was frustrated, and terrified. He didn't want to be here. Didn't want Magnus to see the pain he would go through. His wrists were already bruised and bleeding at times._

_The warlock entered the room. “Alec!” he said, sounding cheerful._

_Alec shivered. The voice made him feel sick. The hands now touching him made him want to throw up._

_“Pretty boy,” Thomas whisperer in Alec's ear._

_Alec was desperate to not have this happen. But he was powerless. Even as his hands were freed, he couldn't fight Thomas. The warlock had a mental hold on him, forcing him to do everything he didn't want to do. Alec wanted to cry and beg, but he couldn't bring himself to do that._

_Thomas forced him to his knees. Alec tried to fight it with all his might. Magnus shouldn't have to see this. But he had no choice. He opened his mouth and let the warlock violate him. The taste was disgusting, as always. It made him gag, want to throw up. Not that there was anything in his stomach to throw up._

_Magnus watched in pure frustration. It felt like his magic was gone once more and that he would never be able to save his husband. He knew he had to keep hope, but seeing Alec so weak, just giving in, it broke his heart. He couldn't imagine the pain Alec was feeling, the humiliation._

_Alec was forced to stand back up. Then he was bent over, he grabbed his own legs. He looked at Magnus as Thomas forced two fingers into him. He closed his eyes and hung his head, not wanting his husband to see the light leave his eyes._

“Hey,” Magnus said, gently laying a hand on Alec's back and trying to get him to wake up. “Alexander, you're okay. You're safe.”

Alec shot up, looking around with wide, terrified eyes. His breathing was fast, he was sweating. Alec looked at Magnus and relaxed, wiping his face. He took a deep breath, slowing down his heartbeat to a normal rhythm.

“Sorry,” Alec apologised. “Sorry if I woke you up.”

“No need to apologise,” Magnus said. “I was already awake.”

Alec nodded. A shiver ran down his spine, the memory of the nightmare fresh. He hated nightmares. But there was nothing he could do about them. 

He sighed. “What time is it?”

“It's about 9am,” Magnus answered. He smiled at his husband. “Lets get you some breakfast,” he said, helping Alec out of bed.

They made their way over to the kitchen. A few moves of his hands and breakfast was served. Alec smiled, it did come quite in handy that Magnus was a warlock. He ate in peaceful quiet. He didn't know what else to say. He had quite the hangover from yesterday's drinking. He knew he needed to stop it. Alcohol wasn't doing him any favours and he knew that very well. And yet, when he felt most desperate, alcohol called to him. Beckoned him for a taste, and then for some more.

The worst part about drinking were the horrifying nightmares. His nightmares were bad as they were. The more he drunk, though, the worse they would get. His mind would go crazy with every scenario

Nauseousness took over his senses and Alec fled to the bathroom, scrambling to his knees and emptying the contents of his stomach. He was breathing harsh, clutching his stomach as it hurt. His throat burned from the combination of bile and breakfast.

Magnus slowly approached him and placed a gentle hand on Alec's shoulder. “Are you okay?” He asked his husband. He was worried for Alec.

Alec nodded, wiping his mouth and flushing the toilet. He got up, splashed some water in his face. “Yeah,” he said with a shrug.

They returned to the kitchen. Alec refused to eat anything else, not wanting a repeat. His stomach was already upset as it is. It didn't need to get any worse. Especially considering that this was their wedding anniversary day and he didn't want to fuck that up. He just wanted to make sure Magnus had a good time.

Magnus put the breakfast away. He was a little disappointed. He had hoped Alec would be able to eat a decent meal. But he seemed not to. It got him worried, but he decided to just let it go for now.

“I’m going to shower,” Alec announced, breaking the awkward silence between them. He turned and walked to the bathroom, dropping items of clothing as he went, knowing full well Magnus was watching him.

He shoved his boxers down his legs and kicked them away as he closed the bathroom door. Alec turned the shower on, let it warm up before stepping under it. He closed his eyes and let the warm water run over his shivering body. He wasn't sure why he was shivering, but he disliked it. Luckily, his body soaked up the warmth coming from the water and the shivering stopped.

Alec took a deep breath as he could hear Thomas's voice whispering in his ear.

_”Alec, you whore. You're tainted. Filthy. Ugly. You'll forever carry my scars.”_

Alec shook his head. He lathered his hands on body wash and scrubbed his body as best as he could, trying to get rid of the feeling of hands roaming in intimate places. Places Thomas wasn't allowed to touch. He knew it wasn't real, and yet it felt so real. He gagged.

The soap washed off. And yet it was an insignificant effort to get rid of the feeling. The shadowhunter took a deep breath to calm himself down and remind himself that it wasn't real. He was okay, he was safe. There was nothing to worry about anymore.

_”Alec, listen to me. You're not worthy, of anything. You're a disgusting, filthy whore. You don't belong here.”_

Alec covered his ears and shook his head. “Leave me alone,” he whispered. “Get out of my head. Leave me alone. It's not true. Whatever you say is not true.” His voice carried a deep pain with it. 

The laugh shook him to his core, but it faded. It remained quiet then, and Alec breathed a sigh of relief. He shut the shower off, shaved his face, stole Magnus's perfume, and wrapped the wet towel around his waist after drying himself off. He opened the bathroom door to find Magnus standing outside of it, waiting with a towel neatly folded over his arm.

Alec saw his husband was naked. A blush rose to his cheeks and he ducked his head, as if he was shy. He felt a hand lightly slap his ass as he hurried out of the bathroom. The chuckle that followed made him feel a little embarrassed, even. The door closed and Alec turned around, staring at it for several seconds. Then he moved along, dropping the towel and getting himself dressed.

He dressed in black jeans and a tight-fitted black tshirt. He raked his hair back with his fingers and sat down on the bed, waiting for Magnus to finish his shower. He wasn't sure why he'd felt so shy and embarrassed. Magnus and him had been married for several years now and yet, somehow, Alec felt as embarrassed and awkward as he had first meeting Magnus and being around him.

The door opened and Magnus appeared in the doorway. He looked fabulous as he always did. Alec wondered if there ever was a time when Magnus didn't look absolutely breathtaking.

The warlock moved around the bedroom as he got himself dressed. Tight leather pants, loose blouse buttoned up and tucked into his pants. Elegant necklaces and rings to make him look absolutely stunning. He then turned to Alec.

“Did I see you blush, Alexander?” Magnus asked.

Alec cleared his throat and looked up at Magnus. “Yes,” he said, voice wavering. “I was caught off guard by you.”

“Is that so?” The warlock chuckled.

Alec rolled his eyes and got up. He stretched, before approaching Magnus. He put his hands on Magnus's hips and looked into the eyes of his husband, an adoring smile on his lips. “I love you, Magnus. Happy anniversary.”

“And here I thought you had forgotten.” Magnus smiled brightly, placing his hands on Alec's hips. “Happy anniversary, husband.”

Alec kissed Magnus, a soothing, gentle kiss. Magnus reciprocated and smiled.

Alec pulled back and let his hands fall to his sides. He was ever so grateful for his husband. “Should we go? You promised a lovely restaurant.”

Magnus brightened up. “It’s still early. We should go shopping first. I know some lovely little shops.” With a whirl of his hands a portal appeared. He gestured for Alec to step through it.

Alec did, stepping through the portal. He appeared in a narrow street, with old houses and an unkept road. Magnus appeared and the portal closed. He smiled. It was late afternoon here.

He clapped his hands together and lead the way. Alec followed, happy to see his husband in such a good mood. They deserved to be happy after all that had happened to them the past week. A shudder ran down his spine, one Magnus didn't notice, luckily.

Magnus took his hand and dragged him into one of the shops that lined the street. The shop door opened with a sound of a bell, and closed. Alec took in the shop's appearance and noted that it had many suits, much like Magnus generally used to wear. From fancy old Victorian ones to modern sleek ones.

“Pick any you like,” Magnus said, letting go of his arm. A single man sat behind the counter, giving a curt nod to the both of them, before going back to whatever he was reading.

Alec frowned. He felt a little overwhelmed, not sure what to pick. He liked Magnus in his suits, but he didn't really wear any, unless it was for very important matters. But even then, he liked to keep it simple.

He wandered through the store. He felt the different clothing textures and looked through the different sections. He settled, eventually, on a mix between an old victorian and slightly modern suit. Something that could be worn casually and formally.

Magnus dragged him to the fitting room. It took Alec a while to get it on properly and buttoned. He wondered how Magnus did that, but Magnus had his magic for it. Alec looked at the mirror and smiled. He looked good, the black and red accentuating hid features. He drew back the curtain and looked at Magnus.

Magnus had heart eyes. He stared at his husband open mouthed and amazed. This might just be his favourite look of all time.

“You approve?” Alec questioned.

“Most-definitely,” Magnus agreed. He smiled and had Alec do a little twirl. “Yeah, let's go for this. Now get out, I'll fit my own.”

Alec stepped aside, letting Magnus in. The curtains were drawn closed and Alec waited, admiring himself in the mirror outside. A few minutes later, Magnus appeared.

Alec smiled brightly. “You’re handsome,” he noted.

“And so are you,” Magnus said, quickly placing a kiss on Alec's cheek. He took Alec's hand and dragged him over to the counter, where he paid for both. They then left, their former clothes in a plastic bag, now wearing their expensive suits.

Alec hummed happily as they made their way through the narrow street. He started to become hungry, and he sensed Magnus was becoming hungry too. Even though it hadn't been that long since breakfast. Not that it mattered, Alec had barely eaten at breakfast.

Eventually Magnus found a restaurant. And a spot was reserved for them. They sat down, Magnus ordering expensive wine.

The waiter came back with a bottle and two glasses. Magnus ordered for the both of them, and the waiter left.

Alec poured the wine into their glasses. “A toast to a most wonderful husband,” he said, holding up his glass towards Magnus.

Magnus chuckled. “A toast to the most amazing husband.” They clinked their glasses before both taking a sip.

Alec put his glass down and leaned back in his chair. It was fairly dark in this restaurant, a few lights bust mostly candles lighting the building. He liked the atmosphere of it. 

“So, how come you know this place?” Alec asked, curious.

“I’ve been around for a very long time, Alexander,” Magnus said. “I know quite a few places. I just happen to know this one is always open. And it's generally not busy.”

Not an understatement. They were the only ones there.

The waiter came with their foods and set it down, before leaving again. Alec took in the smell and his stomach rumbled in responce. It smelled entirely delicious.

They dug in. After they finished, they wiped their mouths, sipped wine. Alec was really enjoying this. For a moment, Thomas seemed to have entirely vanished from his mind. 

They paid once the bottle was empty and made their way back out onto the street. Alec had his arm in Magnus's and together they roamed the street.

“We should go home,” Magnus eventually said. He turned to Alec.

Alec hesitated. “I like it here,” he said. It was peaceful, quiet. He nodded though.

Magnus smiled kindly at him. He created a portal and they stepped through it together. It was evening here now too, back in New York. The sun had set and the stars had come out. Alec yawned, covering his mouth. He didn't want to look exhausted, but Magnus had noticed anyway.

“Go to bed,” he said.

Alec sighed and nodded. He walked into the bedroom, gently dressing out of his suit. He neatly folded it and put it on a chair, before crawling under the covers. He laid down on his back, staring up at the ceiling for a while. He eventually drifted off to sleep, a light slumber filled with endless nightmares.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Another chapter. This gives you a little insight in how Thomas still has a grip on Alec. This story is based on my personal experiences, which is why I write. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you like it. Stay tuned for the next chapters. It's going to get angsty again for a bit perhaps.

_It was dark. Alec had a hard time seeing where he was. The only thing he remembered was going home, and then passing out. He knew who had done it. But he tried to deny it. Didn't want to admit it was the man who had raped him earlier, who now had him. Magnus must know something was wrong, Izzy and Jace as well. They would come for him. Rescue him._

_He hoped._

_Light suddenly flooded the room. Alec squeezed his eyes shut, the light blinding him. It gave him an instant headache. A laugh made him shudder, the pitch of the voice familiar._

_Alec peeled his eyes open again and took a long look around the room. Wherever he was, it was a sort of torture basement. The walls hung full of whips, knives, ropes, toys that Alec recognised too well, and whatever else he didn't recognise. The room was full of torturous devices, it seemed, purposed to force him into any possible position._

_He gulped. This was much worse than he had imagined._

_“You like it?” The warlock appeared into Alec's view, bright, twisted grin adoring his face. His eyes said it all, the excitement of being able to torture a person, a shadowhunter._

_The shadowhunter remained quiet. He didn't want to play the warlock's games. He was terrified as it is, even if he didn't show it. His eyes showed defiance, strength._

_“You’ll be spending quite some time here,” the warlock explained. “I can't wait to get you into all of these contraptions and see what your body can take. Shadowhunters are supposed to be agile, no? I wonder just how agile.” He grinned again._

_Alec noticed now that he was naked. Not even underwear was covering his most private part. The warlock reached out and hands latched onto his side. Alec shivered, a wave of nauseou taking over his senses. The hands moved down his sides, before one wrapped its fingers around his dick, tearing a groan from him._

_Thomas moved forward and lowered his head to lick around one of Alec's nipples. He was gentle in his ministrations. His hand moved slowly up and down Alec's length, his tongue and mouth played with his nipples. Alec hardered in his hand and the warlock took a step back._

_“This is going to be so much fun.”_

_Alec was released from his bounds, for a second. The warlock forced him to walk over to one of the many structures. This one looked particularly nasty. Alec was forced onto his knees, then bent backwards with his chest to the sky. His legs and feet were secured. Then his arms to the floor. Lastly his head, neck resting on a metal tube. A ring gag forced into his mouth and secured tightly behind his back. His muscles strained in holding this back breaking position. Tears burned at the corners of his eyes, but he refused to let them slip._

_The warlock walked over to a wall, took one of the whips, and returned. Alec breathed hard through his nose as the first few lashes landed across his chest. And then his thighs. The lashes stung, blood trickled down some shallow cuts._

_The whip was put back once the warlock was satisfied. Thomas returned and stepped across Alec's chest. He unzipped his pants, dick springing free. With Alec's mouth kept open, the warlock thrusted home._

Alec gasped, eyes opening and his body flinging itself into a seated position. With wide eyes he took in the room, and noticed to his relief that he was safe. He looked beside him, but the bed was empty and cold. He frowned.

He moved his legs out of bed, feet landing on the floor. He stood up, dizziness coming to his senses. He steadied himself and waited for the dizziness to pass. Then he walked out of the bedroom into the living room.

Magnus was awake, a glass of alcohol in one hand, a leatherbound book in the other. He didn't hear Alec until the man coughed awkwardly. He lowered the book and looked at his husband. Alec looked pale, sickly even. He frowned.

“Alexander, are you okay?” he asked.

“I’m fine,” Alec said, taking a seat. “Just tired.”

Magnus closed the book and put it down on the table. He set his glass down as well. “How come?”

Alec sighed. He looked away, finding something interesting to look at on a wall. He knew that Magnus knew. He knew Magnus could help him. And yet, asking for help wasn't something he'd like to do, really. He just wanted the nightmares to fuck off. The memories to fade away. The hands to leave his body alone. Awkwardly, he noticed he had a boner. He crossed his legs and frowned. He shouldn't be turned on by those nightmares.

“I have nightmares,” he finally said. “They’re worse than the memories. It's like my mind takes those memories and then twists them into something even worse than I experienced.”

“Alexander, nightmares are understandable,” the warlock said. “It’s not strange you're experiencing them, considering what you've gone through. But I do have a remedy for that. You'll sleep tbrough the night peacefully.”

Alec looked up at Magnus. It was late, he knew. Somewhere past three am. Magnus looked exhausted himself. “I know,” he said. “I just… I wish it would stop.”

“And it will,” Magnus assured, “in time.”

“I want them to stop now.” Alec realised he sounded almost childish.

“Alexander,” Magnus stood up, walked over to his husband, knelt down. He looked up into Alec's eyes. “Let me help you, then. They won't stop like that. But I can give you a few nights of peaceful sleep for now.”

Alec had tears in his eyes. Magnus's words made him break down, and Magnus engulfed him in a warm hug. Times were trying for both of them. Because dealing with this for the both of them was difficult. But they would get through this, together.

The sobs stopped eventually. Alec took a deep breath and moved away, wiping the tears. He nodded at Magnus.

The warlock stood up. He retrieved something from the fridge, poured it into a glass and handed it over to Alexander. “Drink up.”

Alec did, throwing it back. It tasted nice, so he drank it all in one go. 

“Now, let's go to bed.” Magnus held out his hand for Alec.

Alec took it. The two of them moved to the bedroom and crawled into bed. Alec drifted off into sleep once more. Magnus however didn't. He laid on his back, Alec's head resting on his shoulder. He wanted to sleep, really. And even though he was exhausted, sleep wouldn't come to him. He frowned, perhaps he should have made a concoction for himself as well.

Time moved on. The sun rose in the sky. Alec stirred towards noon.

Magnus smiled, watching Alec's eyes flutter open. The shadowhunter looked well rested for once. 

“Good morning,” Magnus said.

“Morning,” Alec responded. He sat up and stretched with a yawn. He then looked at Magnus and frowned. “Did you sleep?”

“No, but it's okay.” Magnus shrugged and pecked Alec's lips. “I’m going for a shower.”

Magnus moved out of bed and left to the bathroom.

Alec sat there quietly, worried for his husband. He sighed, rubbed his eyes and got out of bed. He got dressed and went into the kitchen. He decided to make pancakes for breakfast for the both of them.

Magnus came out of the shower and into the kitchen, following the smell of breakfast. He smiled brightly at Alec. 

“Dig in,” Alec said, sounding cheerful.

They both did, enjoying the light and fluffy pancakes Alec had made. Magnus loved it when Alec cooked. He had improved so much, he was proud of his husband.

After, Magnus helped him clean up the dishes. Then they retreated to the living room, where they sat down. They found themselves in comfortable silence, just enjoying each other's presence.

“Alexander,” Magnus said eventually. “Tell me more about your nightmares.”

Alec paled. He'd rather not go into details about his nightmares. They were horrible as it was, Magnus didn't need to know the magnitude of horridness. 

“I don't know,” he said quietly. He looked down at his hands, now playing with the edge of his tshirt. This made him nervous. 

“It’s okay,” Magnus said. “The better I know your nightmares, the better I can help you.”

Alec sighed. He stood up and started pacing, clearly not comfortable. He sat down, threw his hands up in frustration and looked at Magnus.

“They start out in the room where Thomas had kept me,” Alec started, looking away. A shiver ran down his spine. “Sometimes you're there, watching, helpless. Sometimes you're not, and I'm just alone with him. I look around the room each time. Sometimes it's empty. Other times the walls are full of toys and torture devices. The room has structures I can be tied to.”

He remembered being tied into that back breaking position. He swallowed, feeling sick.

“He does a range of things. He uses the whip, or the cane. He forces me to…” Alec chokes on his own words, uncertain how to say what he wanted to say. He felt embarrassed.

“He forces me to give oral to him,” he whispers, so softly he wonders if Magnus even hears him. “Or he rapes me. It hurts, always. He's always making it painful. He'll choke me, hit me, or use his magic to intensify the pain.”

Alec looked up at Magnus, who had a neutral expression. He looked back down again. “Sometimes I'm bleeding. Sometimes he force feeds me something disgusting. I can never quite say what it is. He'll have me pleasure you, at times, too. While you're tied to a chair and unable to do anything about it.”

He remained quiet then. Thomas's words echoing through his mind.

_”You’re just a fuck toy. That's all you're good for. To play with. To hurt. To torture. You're worth nothing. You're suffering is the only reason you're alive. So I, and others, like your husband, can enjoy the pain you're in. Can enjoy leaving proper marks.”_

Alec closed his eyes, covered his ears and tried to shut out the voice, forget the sound, the words. But Thomas kept talking to him, pestering him about how absolutely worthless he is.

A hand on his shoulder had him jump, eyes opening in panic. But he saw it was Magnus and forced himself to relax a little. 

“Alexander,” Magnus said softly. “I’m sorry.”

Alec broke down in tears. “It’s not your fault,” he sniffled. 

Magnus hugged him and Alec cried into his chest, sobs wrecking his body. He gasped as he tried to breathe in enough oxygen before his sobs took over again, forcing him out of breath.

Magnus rubbed his back gently and let him cry. It was good for Alec to get it all out, even if it was difficult. He knew Alec didn't like opening up about his emotions too much. He did so to Magnus, and Magnus was always grateful. But the warlock knew it wasn't always easy for him. And this scenario was even harder for Alec.

Alec quieted down slowly, breathing in through his nose and out through his mouth. He calmed down, the tears stopped. He raised his head and Magnus wiped his tears. 

“It’s going to be okay,” Magnus assured him. “I promise. And I'm always going to be here for you, Alexander.”

“I know,” Alec said, voice hoarse. “I just hate it. Hate that I let this happen to me. I'm a shadowhunter, I'm strong.”

Magnus sighed and shook his head. “This can happen to anyone, sadly.” 

Alec blanched at that, and moved away. He walked to the window overlooking the balcony and the city, crossed his arms over his chest and remained quiet. Even when Magnus came to stand beside him, he kept his mouth shut.

“I’m sorry,” Magnus apologised.

“It’s okay,” Alec mumbled. “It’s true, anyway.” 

It was clear Alec was done talking. Magnus looked at his husband, saw the storm of emotions in his eyes. Perhaps removing the memories was for the best. But he wouldn't do it unless Alec asked him to. Magnus turned away and decided to leave him alone for a bit. “I’m going for a walk,” Magnus announced. “Call me if you need me.” He took his jacket and his phone and left the apartment.

Alec turned around and stared at the door. He clenched his fists, sighed, relaxed and sat down. He put his head in his hands and closed his eyes, just focusing on breathing. Everything seemed so messed up at the moment, he hated it.

And it was all his fault, too. Thomas had been right all along. All the bad things that had happened between them had been because of his mistakes. He was causing so much pain to Magnus, his husband. He sniffled.

“Please come back,” he whispered quietly. “I’ll do better.”

He needed to work on himself, as Thomas had told him. Alec got up and wandered over to the bedroom, closing the door behind him. He took a deep breath before he got to work.


	15. Chapter 15

Magnus wanted to turn back the moment he shut the door behind him. But he didn't. Alec needed some space, he knew. So he decided to go, leave his husband alone for a bit. Magnus needed some space at the moment too.

The warlock stepped outside onto the street and looked around. He sighed, took a deep breath and headed into a random direction. He had to clear his mind as well. Think about future steps to help Alec recover. He too, knew it would take time. Even Magnus himself was a little impatient. He wanted everything to go back to the way things were. But he realised that likely wasn't going to happen soon, because even though Alec pretended to not be bothered by his traumas too much, Magnus knew differently. Alec's nightmares were bad. Worse than Magnus had imagined, at first.

To think that Alec would dream every night about the worst torture his mind could think of. Magnus clenched his fists, unknown to him. And to think that in Alec's dreams, Magnus was there some times as well. The warlock had to admit, though, that he had nightmares himself. Having seen Alec tied up and touched and tortured by Thomas had not been good for him. Magnus often dreamed about Alec dying. But these dreams were worse. Seeing Alec assaulted time and time again. Seeing the lashes cut across his back, the blood trickling down his back. The pained cries Alec would emit, even if he tried so hard to keep himself silent. Seeing Thomas grin as he assaulted Alec…

Magnus pressed his hands to the side of his head, fingers grasping at strands of hair as he tried to block out the images. But it was impossible. They just kept coming, worse and worse. It made him feel sick to his stomach to know that Alec had endured such horrible things.

A deep breath, Magnus managed to calm himself down. He sat down on a park bench and sighed, staring ahead. Pigeons were scuttling about trying to find food. Mundanes were walking from here to there. Unaware.

But Magnus was aware of the tiny little things. A shadowhunter creeping through the shadows. A seelie passing by. New York was more diverse than mundanes knew. Magnus sat there for quite a while, contemplating his life. Contemplating which steps to take to get him and Alec back to the way they were.

But to be honest, he wasn't sure. Magnus knew the road of recovery was a long one. He knew he had to be patient, kind and understanding. And he tried. He really did. But somehow, Alec managed to fall back under a dead man’s control. And Magnus didn't know how to fix that. How to fix any of it. Especially not if Alec didn't talk to him, tell him what was going on.

The entire situation just seemed entirely impossible to fix.

Once more, Magnus sat with his head in his hands, trying to figure out what to do next. Suddenly, someone sat next to him. Magnus looked up to see Raphael. Magnus almost had forgotten that Raphael was a mundane again, not a vampire anymore.

“I heard what happened,” Raphael said.

Magnus frowned. “How?”

“Word goes around.” Raphael shrugged, looking at Magnus. “Are you okay?”

Magnus shook his head. “Not really.”

The fact that word was going around of what happened to Alec was worrhing him. Alec wanted no one to know. Now that Raphael and others knew, he worried for the shadowhunter's image. 

“Where's your husband?”

“Back at home.”

Silence. Magnus looked ahead of him. The park had become a bit more quiet. Fewer mundanes were around. Pigeons picking up the last crumbs before heading to the trees for the night. The sun was setting slowly.

“Magnus,” Raphael said. “I don't know how hard this must be on you. But being out here probably isn't helping you. Or Alec.”

“Then what should I do?” Magnus mused. “I need to clear my mind from time to time. Alec is going through a tough time, but so am I. I have my own nightmares about what happened. I'm trying my best to be there for him. But he shuts himself off again and again.”

“This is hard on everyone,” Raphael said. “No matter what happened, you promised to be there for him. You need to remind him of the commitment you two made when you got married. And give him time, and space.”

“I am,” Magnus said, getting up. “I give him time. I give him space. I tell him I'm there for him. But whenever he opens up he also shuts down. Thomas has a hold over him and I don't know how to break that.”

Raphael looked sympathetic. He stood up and stopped Magnus from pacing. “Magnus, you're a powerful warlock. Alec is a skilled shadowhunter. There hasn't been a thing you two weren't able to figure out.”

Except being a warlock or a shadowhunter didn't prepare the both of them for this. Nothing could have prepared them for this, and yet here they were, trying to get better. He knew Alec would get better, eventually. And so would he. But time was not exactly on their side and Magnus worried that Alec would carry his traumas with him for the rest of his life.

Magnus looked at the mundane. He gulped, looked down. “I just don't know.” And he really didn't. Didn't know how to fix this entire situation. He hated it. Hated feeling so powerless, so useless.

“And answers aren't always certainty.” Raphael shrugged. “Go home. He probably needs you.”

Magnus sighed. He looked back up, but Raphael was gone. It was as if the conversation never happened, like Raphael had been a figment of his mind. But he knew he wasn't. The warlock sighed and looked around. Perhaps he did need to head back. He didn't exactly leave Alec in a good state of mind. Both of them were struggling.

He turned and headed down the path, looking down at his feet as he walked. He wondered if Alec was okay. He hoped so. He could portal back, but Magnus almost didn't want to return home. He wanted to escape until Alec was better again, until things were back to normal.

He passed city shops closing down. He stopped at one, an old book store. He peered inside the dark room through the window. For a moment he was distracted, staring into the shop. A shadow moved behind the window. Curtains were drawn shut. Magnus blinked, now staring at his own reflection. He sighed and started walking again.

The night air was cool. As he walked, he realised how far he had walked this afternoon. He hadn’t realised just the distance he'd moved away from his apartment. He hurried up his steps, now a little more eager to get home. He passed shop after shop, house after house and apartment buildings came and went as he walked. His hands were tucked into the pockets of his pants. He felt his phone and took it out. He stopped walking, the phone's screen lighting up. But there was no notification from Alec. He frowned for a moment, put his phone back into his pocket and started walking again.

As he walked, he tried to make up a conversation in his head. He tried to think of the words to say to reassure Alec that everything was going to be fine, in due time. That Magnus would always be there for him. He tried to think of ways that Alec could react. But he found it strangely difficult. Alec could be quite unpredictable at the moment.

Finally he was getting closer to the apartment building that he shared with his husband. The streets were more familiar now. Street lights overhead turned on as the darkness took its hold on the city.

Keys. Magnus took his keys out of his pocket and went into the apartment building. He took the stairs instead of the elevator and ended up on his floor, out of breath. He took a few deep breaths, and once his heart had calmed down, he walked up to his front door.

Magnus wasn't sure why he was so nervous. Surely, there was nothing to be nervous about.

The keys jingled as be unlocked the door and opened it. Magnus quickly stepped inside and closed the door behind him, putting the keys back into his pocket. He looked into the living room and froze.

Alec sat a bit away, seated on his knees. He wasn't wearing anything, except for a black and red leather collar around his neck. His hands were palm up on his thighs. His head was bent.

Magnus looked around, expecting someone in their apartment that had forced Alec into this position, but there was no one. He frowned, looking back at Alec. His husband hadn't moved, or said a thing. He sat there like a statue, almost surreal. He couldn't deny that this turned him on. He also wasn't sure where Alec got the collar from, but it looked expensive and well made.

“Alec?” Magnus said softly.

“Master,” Alec greeted, looking up now. His eyes were glazed over and showed no expression.

Magnus swallowed. “Why are you sitting there like that?”

Alec blinked. “To please you, Master.”

Magnus was furious. Not at Alec, but at the dead warlock who had put Alec into this state of mind. To think that Alec was doing this purely because Thomas still had a hold on him disgusted him.

“Get up,” Magnus said, pleading. “Take that collar off and get dressed.”

“Okay, Master.” Alec got up.

“And don't call me that. I am not your master. I am your husband.” Magnus ushered Alec into the bedroom and made sure that he got dressed properly, and that his collar was taken off. He relaxed a little and went to the living room. He sat down.

Alec hovered around.

“Sit down,” Magnus said, getting anxious. How was he ever going to get Alec out of this mindset? He looked at his husband, who still had a blank expression on his face. Magnus stared for a long time, trying to figure out the words to tell Alec that this was not okay. That Alec was not a slave. But he drew a blank.

“Why are you doing this?” Magnus asked, uncertain.

“Because I should,” Alec said through gritted teeth. “It’s my purpose.”

“It’s not,” Magnus said, trying to sound calm and kind. “You are not a slave. You are my husband.”

“A bad one.” Alec looked down, fumbling with the hem of his shirt. “Ever since… Ever since Thomas raped me, I haven't been a good husband, have I? I've only been disappointing. And now I'm disappointing you again.”

“Alec,” Magnus started.

“No,” Alec said, frowning. “It’s true, don't deny it. I know you get turned on. I see it, notice it. And yet I can't give you what you want.” Alec stood up and started pacing. “I’m not a real shadowhunter anymore. I can't go back to work because I'm constantly on edge and scared. He continues to have a mental hold on me. I can still feel his fingers, his hands. You don't know how that nauseautes me!”

“No, I don't,” Magnus admitted. “But I do know it will fade in time, Alexander. You just need time and patience. You won't just heal like it's an injury.”

Alec huffed. “Things would have been so much simpler if it had been just an injruy. Instead I let myself get raped.”

Magnus took a deep breath. “None of this is your fault. It never has been. These things… It can happen to anyone. And it sucks. I wish it hadn't. But all we can do is deal with it and move on.”

Alec looked at Magnus, searched his eyes. “You don't think I'm damaged? Or gross, a whore?”

“Of course not,” Magnus said, shaking his head. He never would. “You are gorgeous, as always, Alexander. You mean so much to me.”

Alec swallowed. He looked down, an entire storm of emotions going through his mind. He felt disgusting, for sure. He felt like he wasn't worthy of Magnus anymore, that he was forever tainted. He would never be gorgeous, as Magnus had called him. And he wondered why Magnus thought he was. But another part of his mind told him that it was true. Alec was handsome. He wasn't tainted. He needed some time and Magnus would help him through it as best as he could. He knew that.

“Alexander,” Magnus said softly. “I can't possibly imagine how you feel. But I know that in time, it's going to be okay. You will learn to love yourself again. And I will be with you every step of the way. I'm never going to leave you. Not over this, not over anything.”

The words stung. Alec only now realised tears were making their way down his face. He frowned and tried to wipe them away, but they kept coming. Alec took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He felt Magnus approach, and then he felt a pair of warm arms around him. Alec clung to him, to Magnus. Fists full of Magnus's shirt. And he sobbed, once more, letting go of all the emotions that he had bundled up inside of him.

His body shook. Magnus held him gently, letting his husband cry for as long as he needed it. Because he knew that Alec would always keep emotions to himself until he was too full and the bubble burst. He had accepted that of his husband a long time ago.

They sat there for a long while. Alec holding onto Magnus in desperation as he cried, Magnus holding him in his gentle embrace. Magnus was content just holding Alec until his husband was done crying.

Alec calmed down eventually. He angrily wiped at the tears on his face and looked up at Magnus. “You really don't think I'm tainted and disgusting?”

Magnus shook his head. “Nothing can ever make me think of you that way, Alexander. When we married, it was the best moment of my life. And I look forward to spending the rest of our lives together.”

Alec nodded. He took a deep breath and let himself calm down a little more. He repeated Magnus's words in his head for comfort.

“You a little better now?” Magnus asked.

“Yes,” Alec said. He cuddled into Magnus's arms and curled up. “Thank you.”

“You don't have to thank me,” Magnus said, sounding cheerful. A few minutes later and Magnus heard some soft snores. He looked down and saw that Alec was asleep. The warlock smiled, gently picking up his husband and carrying him to bed. There, he laid down beside him, Alec once morw curling up to him. Magnus wrapped his arms around him and closed his eyes, drifting off into sleep.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Are you going to hate me? Probably. So sorry in advance. 😅 This is however the last hurtle Alec has to overcome before we can have all the fluffy recovery. Since those chapters are already written and waiting to be posted. Please don't be angry. 😂

Alec slept steadily throughout the night. Didn't wake up once, had no nightmares. So come morning, when his eyes fluttered open, Alec smiled, feeling well rested for the first time in a while. He turned on his side and looked at Magnus, who's face was all but peaceful. He frowned, he had an inkling that Magnus had nightmares, too. But he'd never witnessed it.

He pushed himself up into a seated position and looked at Magnus. His face was distorted. There were even tear tracks on his cheeks.

Gulping, Alec lay a gentle hand on Magnus's shoulder. “Hey, wake up,” he said.

“No,” Magnus mumbled, shaking Alec's hand off. “Don’t… Don't do it. Don't die, Alexander, please…”

Guilt pulled at Alec's heartstrings. He shook Magnus. “Magnus, we're fine,” he said. 

Magnus's eyes flew open and he sat up, almost head butting Alec as he went. He looked around, took a deep breath, and forced himself to calm down as Alec came into his vision, alive and well.

“It’s okay,” Alec said, giving a reassuring smile. “I’m alive.”

Magnus gave a soft chuckle and he wiped at his face, wiping away his tears. “Sorry,” he said.

“Don’t apologise,” Alec said. “It’s okay.”

Magnus nodded. He sighed, laying back down. Alec laid down as well, on his side facing Magnus. He smiled, putting away a strand of hair. “Everything is going to be okay.”

Magnus looked at Alec, surprised by the sudden positivity. He hadn't expected Alec to be this positive. Not after yet another break down yesterday. “You’re surprisingly positive.”

Alec shrugged. “I’m just feeling a lot better,” he said. 

“Good,” Magnus said.

“What about you?” Alec looked curious and concerned.

“I’m good,” Magnus said.

“You’re not.” Alec frowned. “Do you have nightmares often about me dying?”

“Alexander,” Magnus said, not really wanting this conversation at the moment.

“Please answer me,” Alec said. “I’m just worried, Magnus.”

“I do,” Magnus answered. “I get them all the time. I didn't have them that much after we married but since…” He frowned. “Since Thomas, well, it's been back almost every night.”

“Why didn't you tell me?” Alec asked.

“I didn't want you to worry about me,” Magnus said. He sat up. “You have your own troubles. You have a long way to go before you recover fully. You don't need to worry about me.”

“But I do,” Alec said. “You’re my husband, Magnus. I will always worry about you in some way or another. You say I don't have to, but I do. Just like you worry about me all the time.”

Magnus got out of bed and looked at Alec. “Okay,” he said.

Alec got out of bed too and walked over to Magnus. He wrapped his arms around his husband. “Magnus, I love you.”

Magnus smiled. “I love you too, Alexander.” 

“Just promise me you'll tell me from now on,” Alec pressed. “Magnus, I'm your husband. I care about your wellbeing.”

Magnus sighed. “I promise,” he said, taking a step back. “It’s just not easy to talk about. One day, you're not going to be here anymore, Alexander. And sometimes, it troubles me. Especially now, after you almost died at a hands of a psychopathic warlock. And who knows who's out there for us? What if Thomas had a brother who's planning some revenge? I just still have a bad gut feeling.”

Alec blinked, looking at Magnus. Obviously he'd entertained the thought of others out there wanting to hurt them. That was the reality of being a shadowhunter, and a warlock. It was unavoidable. But to think Magnus worried this much about it since Thomas had died, it troubled him.

“I know,” Alec said, eventually. “Look, Magnus. You're a warlock. I'm a shadowhunter. There are always going to be people out there, shadowhunters or downworlders, who want to hurt us, kill us. But we can't let that rule our lives.”

Magnus frowned. “Of course not,” he said. “But we should be careful.”

“And we are.” Alec stepped closer to Magnus and took his chin gently in hand. He turned his husband's face up and smiled at him. “Magnus, we will always be careful. Okay?”

Magnus looked up at Alec, searching his eyes. He relaxed, nodded. “Okay.”

Alec kissed him then, a fiery kiss. Magnus reciprocated, but pulled back when he started to feel his arousal grow.

“Magnus, it's fine.” Alec took his hand. “I’m fine.”

“No,” Magnus said, shaking his head. “We should take it slow, Alexander. I don't want to hurt you, trigger your memories.”

“But you won't.” Alec tried to kiss Magnus, but was refused. Frustration boiled up in him, but he took a deep breath, calmed down. “Okay,” he said.

Magnus nodded. He rolled his shoulders. His back was tense, he could feel it. His muscles strained. He knew he needed to relax, or he'd start having headaches.

“Come,” Alec said. “Let’s go eat some breakfast and just enjoy our time together, okay?”

Magnus nodded quietly. He followed after Alec as his husband went to the kitchen. There, fresh coffee was brewed and Alec started on breakfast. Magnus remained distant, staring off into space. He just couldn't let his gut feeling go that somewhere, somehow, soon, something was going to come after them and he'd see Alec die. Or maybe that person would even force Magnus to kill his own husband. Those nightmares were the worst, and yet they were also the most reaccuring ones. 

“Magnus?”

The warlock blinked and looked at Alec. His husband looked worried once more. 

“Something is still bothering you,” Alec noted. “You can tell me.”

Magnus grimaced. He sighed. “My nightmares of you dying… In most of them, I kill you. I'm forced to. Lately it's Thomas who's been forcing me to kill you. But in others it's a random person I don't know. Sometimes it's a shadowhunter that believes you're unworthy of being a shadowhunter. And that the punishment should be death by a filthy downworlder.”

“Magnus…” Alec's expression was soft. He took Magnus's hand and squeezed it gently. “I didn't know. I wish I could help you.”

Magnus smiled at that, just a tiny smile. “I know, Alexander.” He looked at his husband. “I know. Just… Don't die on me, not this soon.”

“I promise,” Alec said. He poured the both of them coffee, and baked some pancakes. He served it, and they both dug in. Alec was ravenous.

Magnus wasn't. Two pancakes was all he could stomach, for now. Talking about his nightmares really tempered down on his hunger. But he ate anyway, not wanting Alec to worry even more. He felt stupid, Alec had gone through something so traumatising and yet, at the moment, he was being the wisest of the both of them. That's why Alec was a leader, of course. Because he could keep a sane mind throughout the worst experiences and still come out on top, stronger than before. Magnus really admired Alec for that, for his strength.

Alec noticed it too, that Magnus wasn't as hungry. Guilt ate at him, because it was his fault that his husband had such nightmares. He finished the pancakes and cleaned up everything.

They sipped their coffee in silence. Both lost in thoughts and memories.

Magnus blinked and sighed, getting up. He finished his coffee and put the mug down. “Thank you, Alexander.”

Alec looked at Magnus as he retreated back to the bedroom. He sighed and checked his phone, swiping away the notifications. He wondered how to best handle this situation, reassure Magnus that everything was going to be okay. But he drew a blank, was out of ideas. He hated it.

Magnus reappeared, dressed differently, make-up done. He looked fabulous, as always. His old self. 

Alec looked at Magnus. “I was thinking of going back to work,” he said.

Magnus tensed. “Okay.”

“Are you okay?”

Magnus nodded. “Yeah. Just… Be careful out there.”

Alec smiled and nodded. He went into the bedroom, got changed, and walked back into the living room. He kissed Magnus. “I’ll be back tonight.”

Magnus nodded, watching Alec go. He sighed, worried for his husband. He put his head in his hands and closed his eyes. 

_”No,” Magnus said, hand holding a dagger shaking. “I won't do it.”_

_Thomas laughed, gripping Magnus's hand. “You will,” he said._

_Magnus shook his head. Alec sat on his knees, head bowed. He was skinny, looked exhausted. Bruises and cuts littered his body as he'd been a practise target. He looked so lost, so defeated. Magnus swallowed, trying to draw his hand back, but Thomas had a tight grip on it. The blade was put to Alec's chest, right over his heart._

_“No!” Magnus fought, but it was useless. Alec looked up at him, those eyes were so empty now. And then they widend as the knife drove right through his chest, his heart. His mouth opened, but no sound came out. And then he fell, slumped forward._

The ringing of his phone pulled him from another nightmare. Magnus looked down, saw it was Isabelle. He sighed, and answered the call.

“Isabelle,” he said, trying to sound his normal cheerful.

“Magnus!” Isabelle was sounding cheerful as well. “Thank you for letting Alec come. We've really missed him.”

“Of course,” Magnus said. “Just take good care of him.”

“Always,” Isabelle said. “We’ll be going on a field mission today. Just a few demons for a good excercise, see how Alec does. That way I can evaluate him.”

“Sounds like a good idea,” Magnus said. “Keep me updated.”

“I will. Bye!”

The call disconnected. Magnus sighed, worry rising in his chest. He knew that Alec was safe with Jace and Isabelle. But he was still worried. Too much had happened the past few weeks and he'd rather keep Alec safe and sound with him. But Alec was his own person, stubborn and strong. If he wanted to go, he would. There was no stopping him.

But still. He hated Alec being away from him. His traumas were still fresh. Magnus was worried about anything that could trigger Alec. And knowing, from Raphael, that word had traveled through the downworld, about what happened to Alec, he was worried about the secret coming out. And thus shattering Alec's confidence. He didn't want to see that happen. He worried what would happen to Alec if it was true, indeed. It couldn't be good.

But worrying about it here, now, was no use. Instead, he decided to text Isabelle and warn her about it.

“Isabelle. Raphael and some downworlders may know about Thomas and what happened to Alec. So be careful please.”

He sent the text. A minute later he got a text back.

“I will. Thanks for the heads up.”

Magnus locked his phone and sighed. He would just have to trust Isabelle and Jace to keep Alec safe. He couldn't do anything about it now.

Magnus opened a bottle of whiskey. He poured himself a glass and busied himself with clients, taking on some minor tasks and helping them for a small price. In the mean time, he tried not to think about Alec too much.

Time passed on. Towards evening, he decided to text Isabelle.

“Everything okay?”

He waited. An hour passed. No response. He decided to call Isabelle, but she didn't answer. He tried Jace's phone, then Alec's. But no one answered their phones. Magnus frowned, starting to panic. What if his gut deeling had been right? What if the three of them had been abducted? Were being tortured? Because Alec was with them. Magnus would never forgive himself.

He paced the apartment. So many questions were going through his head. His worst nightmare threatened to become true. Alec, gone. Jace and Isabelle gone. This couldn't be happening. They were too strong, too smart, to let it happen to themselves. They were fine. He just had to trust himself on that.

His phone chimed.

“All’s good.”

Magnus stared at the text, long and hard. It sounded suspicious, not like Isabelle. He decided to call again, but no answer.

“Come on come on,” Magnus mumbled as he tried Alec's number. “Please pick up, please pick up. You gotta be fine…”

“Hello?” A voice answered. An unknown voice. “Who’s this?”

“It's Magnus. Magnus Bane,” Magnus answered. “This phone belongs to my husband. Did you find it?”

“Ooooh…” The voice laughed. “Ah, yes. I did. And your husband. And two other shadowhunters.”

Magnus stopped pacing. “What?”

“Yes, your husband killed my brother.”

Fuck.

Magnus was in full blown panic mode. “Let them go. Your brother wanted to hurt me, so hurt me. Take me instead. You can do with me whatever you'd like.”

The laugh sounded hollow and full of amusement. “You think it will be that easy?” Another laugh. “Nah. I quite like my odds with these three. Especially your husband. He's a handsome one, Magnus. I didn't know you liked shadowhunters though.”

The voice sounded familiar now. Magnus knew this warlock. “Damnit, let them go. This is between you and me.”

“No,” the voice said. “I’ll text you a photo sometimes though.”

“Remy,” Magnus growled. “I beg of you.”

“A Magnus Bane who begs?” Remy laughed his ass off. “Oh man. You've grown so soft. You weren't that soft when we had a fling.”

Silence.

“If you love him so much, you can track him.”

The call ended. Magnus stared at his phone with wide eyes. He dropped it, found something of Alec's and closed his eyes. He had to find his husband.

He got a general direction. He portaled himself there. Then he tried again. It was stronger now. He started walking into the direction it came from. He found himelf at an abandoned factory. Magnus looked around, but saw no sign of life. 

Magnus texted Maryse and Max his location, just in case. If he couldn't find and free the shadowhunters, then at least there would be back up. He started walking around, trying to find an entrance. He peeked around a corner.

And then his vision went black.


	17. Chapter 17

The first thing Magnus noticed as he started to regain consciousness was his head throbbing. He'd definitely been hit with some heavy object. Instinctively, he tried to move his hand to his head, but found himself unable to. He opened his eyes. The room was brightly lit, which intensified the throbbing and the pain. He groaned, looked down to find himself restrained to a chair. His hands curled into fists and taped off so that he couldn't use his magic. Fucking figures. Remy was incredibly intelligent and knew how powerful Magnus was.

“Magnus,” a familiar voice called out. It was Alec. He sounded so relieved.

The warlock looked up, eyes landing on three figures hanging from the ceiling by chains, their feet able to stand flat on the ground. Jace, Alec and Isabelle looked unharmed, and for a moment Magnus was relieved by that. Though it wouldn't last long. He knew just how cruel Remy could be.

“Alexander,” Magnus croacked. His throat was sore. He didn't know why. But talking hurt.

“Thank the Angel you're okay,” Alec said. 

“Why wouldn't I be?” Magnus questioned.

“When he dragged you in here…” Alec swallowed, as if it was too painful to remember. “You looked so pale. He said you may never wake up.”

“I did,” Magnus said reassuringly. “Are you three okay?”

“Yeah,” Jace answered this time. “I think he was waiting for you to show up.”

“Fucking figures,” Magnus said.

“Does anyone know where we are?” Isabelle asked.

“I texted Maryse and Max about your disappearance and gave them a general area of where to search. So they should be on their way with the other shadowhunters.” Magnus just hoped they would be in time. But he highly doubted that. He should have trusted his gut feeling and never let Alec go. 

Silence reigned. None of them knew what to say. Jace tried a few times to slip from the chains, but it was impossible. They were forced to stand there and stay put. He hated it.

Alec was feeling anxious. He'd been alone a few minutes with Remy. And he knew whatever the other warlock was planning was not going to be pleasant. Thomas had been bad, but Alec had a feeling Remy might be worse.

“Do you know him?” Alec asked, looking at Magnus.

Magnus nodded. “I do. We had a fling a few centuries ago.” He sighed. “I, however, didn't know he had a brother.”

“Thomas…” Alec frowned. They really had it out for them, it seemed. Like they hadn't gone through enough trouble as it were.

Magnus wanted to reassure Alec, but he was certain it was no use. He took a good look around the room from what he could see. It was empty, bare the chains and the chair he was seated on. There was a door, probably locked just in case any of them escaped their confinement. But that was about it. Perhaps it was an old storage room. It was chilly in here. No windows, and bright white lights above them. He was once more reminded of his headache, and Magnus closed his eyes. He was also feeling sick.

“Are you okay?” Alec asked, clearly worried.

“I’m fine,” Magnus said, opening his eyes and looking at Alec. “I promise.”

Except he wasn't. He was terrified out of his mind because he was powerless. And he saw Alec standing there, and knew some bad things were going to go down. He hoped this was just a dream. Alec couldn't go through another round of torture. He knew that much. Thomas had shattered his confidence. Magnus didn't want that to happen again, to make it worse. Having seen Alec on the ground, on his knees, kneeling as if he was some slave… No. This must be a dream. It had to be…

The door opened and Remy walked inside. He clapped his hands together once he saw that everyone was awake. “Ah, this is good. Now that everyone is together and awake, we can commence the party.”

“Let them go,” Magnus said. He knew arguing with Remy wasn't going to help, probably. But he could still try.

“Why?” Remy raised an eyebrow.

“This is between you and me. Your brother was after me. Deal with me as you'd like, but let them go.” Even if it meant dying. Magnus would if he had to, to save Alec, Isabelle and Jace.

Remy laughed. He walked over to Magnus and grabbed a fistful of hair, tugging his head up. “Adorable. You would give your life for some pathetic shadowhunters? Magnus Magnus… You truly have grown too soft nowadays.” He bent down so he was face to face with Magnus. “To think you married one, disgusting. I always thought better of you. But I was wrong.”

Magnus swallowed. “Let them go,” he pleaded once more.

“No,” Remy said, and pressed a kiss to the top of Magnus's head. “I’m going to have fun with that shadowhunter of yours. I heard he's a good fuck.”

Alec fought against the chains as he saw Remy kiss the top of Magnus's head. He grimaced, cold steel digging into his skin.

Magnus paled as Remy let go of his hair and moved away. He fought against his restraints. He had to free himself. Those words made him feel sick to the bone, made him want to throw up. He swallowed down the bile, chains digging into his skin.

Remy approached Alec, a smirk on his lips. “You are very pretty,” Remy said, grabbing a hold of Alec's chin. “I do bet you're a good fuck if Magnus has been fucking you, even married you.” 

Alec felt disgusted at those words but wisely kept himself quiet. Suddenly, lips were on his. He bit down. Blood filled his mouth and he smirked. He wasn't going to let it happen just like that. 

Remy pulled away. “You ass,” he growled, wiping the blood from his lip. “You like it rough then, huh?” 

A fist landed on Alec's stomach. He gritted his teeth as punch after punch assaulted him. Tears stung his eyes but he refused to let them slip. Apparently, that angered the warlock though. Remy lowered him from the chains and hooked his wrists off. Even though they were still chained together, Alec landed a few punches and a kick to the other warlock.

Remy snapped his fingers and Alec crumpled to the ground, crying out. “Fiesty,” Remy muttered, patting down his clothes. “I suppose we should really break that spirit of yours.”

Another snap of his fingers and a structure appeared. Alec was dragged over, forced onto it. He sat on his knees, his ankles and knees secured to the ground. He was forced to bend over the frame, his wrists separated and secured to the ground below.

“Open your mouth pretty boy,” Remy said. Upon Alec's refusal, he slammed a fist down on Alec's back, causing the shadowhunter to gasp. A ring gag was forced into his mouth and secured behind his back, keeping his mouth open. A ledge was enclosed on Alec's back. Rope winded through the back of the gag and his head was pulled up until the muscles in his neck strained. The rope was tied to the ledge, keeping Alec's head in position.

The rest watched. They knew they were powerless to do anything. Jace tugged on his chains, tried to free himself. But his efforts were futile. Magnus watched quietly, looking at Alec in sorrow. Isabelle was furious, but wisely kept herself quiet as well. She didn't want to trouble Alec even more.

Remy smiled. “That’s better.” He patted Alec's head, who looked up in defiance. He would not be broken, not by anyone. A punch to his face had him avert his gaze though. And then his clothes disappeared and Alec was naked in front of two people he never wanted to be naked in front of. A blush rose to his cheeks and he averted his gaze down at the ground. Perhaps, if he stared hard enough, this wasn't happening. Or the ground would swallow him up and take him away from this.

But obviously he wasn't that lucky.

“Remy!” Magnus called. “Let me take his place.” Magnus knew how cruel Remy could be. Had seen it first hand during their flings. And Remy had probably only grown more cruel since. To think that Alec would have to go through that, made him want to throw up.

Remy sighed and turned to Magnus. “Are you so desperate to fuck him yourself?” He laughed. “Alright then.”

“That is not what I meant,” Magnus said as he was unchained from the chair. He swung a taped fist at the warlock, who dodged with ease and grabbed him by the hair. “Oh no, Magnus. You're going to do as I say. Or your husband is going to suffer at my hands.” 

Magnus was dragged over to Alec. He stood in front of his husband, looking embarrassed and guilty. But Alec looked up at Magnus and the trust and love in his eyes made Magnus want to break down.

“You have a choice, Magnus. You can fuck him, right now, or I'll do it.”

Alec was pleading with Magnus to just do it. And yet Magnus hesitated, looking down at Alec. He couldn't do this. “I can't,” he whispered.

He was dragged over back to his chair and secured once more. “Remy, please. Let the other two go.”

Remy clenched his fists. “You’re so weak,” he said. But he obliged, in some way. Jace was lowered and unhooked. He fought, but with a snap of Remy's fingers Jace went unconscious. He was dragged out of the room. Several minutes later, Isabelle obeyed and followed him, glancing at Alec and Magnus briefly before she was dragged out of the room. She walked into another and was strung up there, and Remy left, shutting the door behind him. Jace and Isabelle were left in the dark.

Remy returned. “Satisfied now?”

But Magnus didn't answer. He just looked down, hoped that Maryse and Max could track them in time.

“Right. Now you better shut up. One more word out of you and I'll cut your tongue out.” Remy patted Magnus's head before he walked over to Alec. He unzipped his jeans and freed his cock, stroking it. “Lets see why Magnus chose you over all his other lovers.”

Magnus closed his eyes, not wanting to watch. Remy thrusted in, Alec gagged. Tears rolled down his cheeks now as Remy grabbed onto his head and fucked his mouth. Shame rolled over him. Disgust. He knew he was the most disgusting person now. Tainted forever by these memories. 

“You do have a lovely mouth,” Remy grunted, hands fisting in Alec's hair. “Come on shadowhunter. Use your tongue. I'm sure Magnus taught you how to pleasure a man.”

Alec obeyed, even though it was difficult to work his tongue with the gag in his mouth. Still, he tried his best, feeling the texture of Remy's cock, the veins that pulsed. Remy groaned and thrusted all the way in, burying his cock into Alec's throat. Alec relaxed his throat as much as he could, but coughed and gagged anyway.

Remy set a brutal pace, barely giving Alec time to breathe properly. Drool was running down his chin and dripping onto the flood. He looked disgusting, he knew. 

Cum filled his mouth. He was forced to swallow most of it, but some dribbled past the gag and down his chin. Remy pulled out and tucked himself back into his pants. He chuckled. “Mhm, decent, I guess.” He shrugged, uncaring. “Right, I'll be back.”

Remt left, door closing behind him.

Magnus looked at Alec, who looked exhausted already. “Alexander…” But he wasn't sure what to say. There was nothing he could say to comfort or reassure his husband.

Alec just averted his gaze and closed his eyes. He couldn't say anything with the ring gag keeping his mouth open. He didn't want to say anything, either. He promised himself that he wouldn't let himself be broken. But in order to do that, he had to close off his memories and his emotions. Because if he didn't, he'd just feel sorry for himself and be broken easily. No, Alec had to be strong. 

Magnus gritted his teeth and vowed to kill Remy the moment he got the chance. He closed his eyes and forced himself to calm down. Anger wasn't going to help him right now. He had to keep himself collected, calm. So that when the time came that Remy fucked up and he got lose, be could properly handle the situation. Remy would get what was coming for him, that was for sure. Even if he had to be patient about it. He just hoped that Alec could hang in long enough.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is gonna be quite a bit longer than you're used from me, and after that we're going to have so much fluff.

Time passed slow when you had nothing to do. Isabelle couldn't sleep, couldn't move, or do anything. Jace was still unconscious and she worried for him. But she worried even more for Alec and Magnus. To see her big brother chained down like that, it was an image forever burned in her mind. And she hated it. She wished she could erase it.

A groan alerted her to Jace waking up. Chains rattled.

“Izzy?” Jace asked.

“Yes?” Isabelle answered.

“Where are we?”

Isabelle sighed. “I don't know. Another room, I suppose.”

Bright lights flickered on. Isabelle blinked, trying to get adjusted. Remy walked into the room and stood in front of them. “You two are definitely pretty too.”

Isabelle felt a shiver of disgust roll down her spine. “Let us go. When others find you, the Clave won't be so kind on you.”

Remy laughed, amused. “The fact that you think you'll be found is entirely hilarious.” He stepped towards Isabelle. “No one will find you. You're at my mercy and I suggest being a little bit kinder about it. Or you may just as well end up like Alec and Magnus, mhm? You'd like that?”

Isabelle swallowed. Of course she didn't. She glared at him, but remained quiet. She didn't want to anger this warlock and have him lash out.

Remy stepped back. With a snap of his fingers, the chains disappeared, beds appeared, and a table with food. “See? I can be kind. Dig in, shadowhunters. You may not see the spectacle with Magnus and his husband, but you two need to be strong.” He winked and walked out, door closing and locking behind them.

Jace rubbed his wrists. They were red and raw. He looked towards the food, suspicious. But he was hungry too. “Do you think this is a trap?”

“Maybe,” Isabelle said. She sat down at the table. “But I am starving.” She hesitated, then filled her plate with mashed potatoes, a vegetable stue and some chicken breast. “I guess it's worth a try.” She shrugged and took a bite.

Jace followed her example, sitting down and digging in. But after a few bites he couldn't eat more. He knew what the other warlock was planning to do with Alec. Seeing him tied down like that, so vulnerable. And Magnus being forced to watch. He pushed his plate away and sighed.

“Jace,” Isabelle said, looking at her fellow shadowhunter. “Max and Maryse and the other shadowhunters will find us,” she said.

“Maybe,” Jace said. “I doubt it, though.” He looked down, feeling guilty for doubting at all. “But Alec… They're not going to be in time, I fear.”

“We have to hope,” Isabelle said. “I can't think of what Alec is going through. Or Magnus…”

Jace looked at Isabelle and saw the tears in her eyes. He got up and walked over, then gently pulled her into a hug. “We faced Lillith. Alec will be okay.”

Isabelle wrapped her arms around Jace and let herself be hugged. Simon must be worried out of his mind, too. She hoped he was out there looking for them as well, together with the other shadowhunters. He had to be.

“It’s going to be okay,” Jace said softly. “We need to trust in that.”

Isabelle knew he was telling the truth, but she still felt hopeless, uncertain. She pulled back and wiped her tears away. “I know,” she said.

She looked at the food but her hunger was gone. She took one of the beds and sat down, crossing her legs and leaning back on her hands. 

Jace sat down on the other bed. He wondered how long they were going to stay cooped up in here. Remy probably planned for as long as possible. But Jace really wanted to get out of here, even if it was just for getting backup. He wasn't so sure Alec was strong enough to withstand more torture than he'd already been through. Alec was strong, yes. But when the three of them had been out fighting some simple demons, he saw that Alec was lacking. His back must have still been bothering him. Or his memories. Jace wasn't sure. Alec wouldn't talk to him, even though they were parabatai.

The door opening alerted both shadowhunters. It was Remy. 

“I see you two have eaten. Good.” He snapped his fingers and the food disappeared. He snapped his fingers again and a door appeared on the other side of the room. “You’ll find a bathroom behind that door, a change of clothes as well.”

“Why are you doing this?” Isabelle asked, frowning.

“Because Magnus wants me to take care of you. So I shall.” Remy shrugged. “He begged me for it, too. He begged me to let his precious husband go as well. But no can do. Not without having a little bit of fun and breaking his spirit.”

“You can't,” Jace defended. “He won't let himself be broken.”

Remy laughed. “Everyone can be broken, Jace Herondale. It's just a matter of systemic torture and time. Add into the mix some mind tricks and you'll have yourself a broken shadowhunter. You, of all people, should know that.”

Jace paled. He did know that. When Lillith had him under her control as the Owl, the mind tricks she played on him broke him. Hell, he even begged for Alec and Isabelle to kill him. He swallowed. “Alec is stronger.”

“No he isn't,” Remy said. “You’ll find that out soon enough, though. I mean, as his parabatai, you'll be feeling quite a bit of it. Or maybe not. Maybe I'll just deactivate the rune and have you guessing.”

Isabelle clenched her fists. She wished she had her whip on her, so she could knock him out and get them out of here. She despised the warlock with every fibre of her being.

“But alas. It's almost time for bed so I'm going to visit Magnus and Alec for a bit, play. Lights go out at ten, so be sure to have showered then.” Remy walked away, door closing and locking behind him once more.

Jace gritted his teeth. He had to contain his anger, stay calm. He looked at Isabelle. “Do you want to go first?”

“Yeah, sure.” Isabelle got up and opened the door to the bathroom. It had a shower and a toilet, and a little cabinet with clothes. Not something she'd wear. Simple sweatpants and tank tops. But it would do. Depending on how long they were going to be here, she couldn't wear her old clothes that entire time.

She closed the door and turned the shower on. Luckily a hair brush was there too, she combed her hair before getting undressed and stepping into the shower. There was a bottle of body wash and shampoo. She sighed, washed herself and turned the shower off again. She dried herself off, got dressed in a fresh set of clothes, and exited the bathroom.

Jace entered the bathroom and closed the door. He turned the shower on and undressed. He stepped under the warm water and closed his eyes, relishing in it and letting it calm him down. He washed himself, turned the shower off, dressed himself and walked back into the other room.

He got into bed and closed his eyes. The lights shut off a little later, and Jace fell asleep quickly.

Isabelle tossed and turned for a while. But she too, fell asleep eventually.  
\-----  
Magnus's hands were feeling numb. He longed to stretch his fingers and wiggle them a bit. Get the feeling back to them. He knew his blood circulation must be cut off at least enough to cause damage in the long run. And he wasn't exactly looking forward to that.

Alec was feeling sore, as well. His throat hurt from earlier. His limbs ached. He had developing bruises which were throbbing. He wanted to get out of this structure and stretch, but he'd tried. There was no way for him to free himself. This warlock was considerate and careful.

He wasn't sure just how long he'd been chained down like this. Hours certainly. His knees ached. He knew Magnus was in some pain as well. It was painful enough for Magnus to see him like this, probably.

The door opened. Alec raised his eyes. His neck was aching with the strain of being held up the entire time. 

Remy walked inside. “Good evening boys,” he said. He clapped his hands together and looked at Alec. “Oh what to do with you?” he mused.

“Remy,” Magnus said. “Please. My fingers are feeling numb. I need to stretch my hands, fingers.”

Remy looked up at Magnus and rolled his eyes. “It’s going to be fine,” he said, sounding annoyed. He turned back to Alec. “I wonder how tight your ass is. Does Magnus fuck you often?”

Alec narrowed his eyes and just stared. 

Remy chuckled. He snapped his fingers and a table full of toys appeared. Alec eyed them, his heart beating a bit faster. The toys made him anxious.

“Right,” Remy said. He walked over to Magnus and unchained him, forcing him to get up. “Make one move and I will cut off your hands.”

Magnus nodded, and let Remy remove the tape. He stretched his fingers, grateful for it. 

Remy pushed him over to the table. “Now pick one.”

Magnus gulped and glanced at Alec. But Alec was staring down at the ground. Magnus turned back to the table and picked a small plug. 

“Push it in him,” Remy ordered.

“Not without som-“

Remy put a bottle of lube in Magnus's hands. “Fine fine. Jesus.”

Magnus walked over to Alec and knelt down behind him. He opened the bottle and poured a bit of lube on his fingers. “Relax,” he said softly as he laid a hand on Alec's ass. He felt how tense his husband was.

His prepping was quick but careful before he slid the plug in. He got up and stepped away, Remy inspecting it. 

Remy snapped his fingers and two beds appeared. “Now, Magnus. Don't think you can escape. Wards are up to keep you in and you can't use your magic.”

Magnus grimaced. He tried anyway, but Remy was right. Remy left the room and locked the door. Magnus turned to Alec and unchained him, taking the gag out as well and removing the rope. 

Alec got up and stretched, his limbs prickling. He groaned. “Thanks.”

Magnus reached out to hug Alec but he moved away. He dropped his hand and looked down. “Alec, I'm sorry,” he said.

“For what?” Alec said, looking up at Magnus.

“For getting you in this trouble. I should have kept you home.”

Alec shook his head. “Magnus, I wanted to go. This is not your fault, or anyone else's.” He looked at his husband. “I’ll be okay.”

“I'm not so sure,” Magnus said, sitting down on one of the beds.

“Why’s that?” Alec asked.

“Because I know Remy,” Magnus said, looking down. “We had some flings some centuries ago. Remy was violent and cruel then. And seeing him now… He didn't change. He loves playing mind tricks and torturing people.”

“Is that what he did to you?” Alec asked softly, concerned.

“No,” Magnus said. “Just to the people he invited into the home we shared. He uh…” Magnus sighed. “He would cut them, whip them, use fire or burning liquids.”

Alec looked down. He sighed, contemplating that faith. 

“Alexander, promise me that you'll get out of here when the opportunity comes. Even if it means leaving me behind.” Magnus looked at his husband. He could stop Remy, but the others needed to get themselves away. To safety.

“No,” Alec said, looking at Magnus. “We’re going to get out of here,” he said, sounding determined. “I’m not leaving you behind with this sicko. Not a chance.”

“Alexander,” Magnus said, getting up. “You must.” He started pacing, his head overflowing with memories of Remy's tortured victims.

Alec took the covers on his bed and wrapped it around himself. He hated being naked, even if it was in front of his husband. He looked at Magnus. “Magnus, we'll figure this out,” he said.

Magnus threw his hands up in frustration. He was just desperate to get Alec, Jace and Isabelle out of this situation and deal with Remy himself. He tried his magic again, but it was no use. His magic was indeed blocked. “Damnit,” he growled.

Alec approached Magnus and looked at him. “We’re going to be okay,” he said. “I promise. He won't break me. And when we get out of here, he'll be punished accordingly.”

Magnus looked at Alec, surprised by the positivity. He nodded and sighed, hoping that was true. Even if he was certain it was not.

“Come lay with me,” Alec said softly.

“Are you sure?” Magnus asked.

Alec nodded. He laid down on bed and Magnus laid down beside him. Alec curled up to him and closed his eyes, drifting off to sleep. Magnus wasn't so fortunate. He couldn't fall asleep, too worried for Remy's plans. He drifted off eventually.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff coming up next chapter. <3

Isabelle slept quite alright. She didn’t wake up once, until the bright lights turned on in the room. She groaned, pulling her covers over her head. It felt too early to wake up and experience another horrid day as a captive. She really hated it.

“Good morning,” Remy’s cheery voice echoed through the room. “Time to get up.”

She pushed the covers away and sat up, looking at Remy. How he managed to be this cheerful so early in the morning was a miracle. “What time is it?” 

“It’s 6:30am. The best time to get up and start the day,” Remy answered. He snapped his fingers and the table filled with pancakes, croissants and whatnot.

The smell made Jace’s stomach rumble. He sat up and pulled a hand through his hair. He glared at Remy, not excited to see his face so early in the morning.

“Eat up,” Remy said and left, door closing and locking behind him.

Jace groaned and looked towards the table. He was still suspicious about it all. He looked towards Isabelle. 

“Morning,” he said.

“Morning,” Isabelle said. She got out of bed and moved towards the table. She sat down and filled her plate, she was starving.

Jace got out of bed as well. He stretched and joined her at the table. And even though he was hungry, being kept captive here didn’t do well for his well to eat. He stared at the food and sighed. He wondered how Alec and Magnus were doing.

Isabelle looked at Jace. “Jace, you’ve got to eat something,” she said.

“I know,” Jace said. “I just…”

“I know,” Isabelle said, looking down. “I’m worried about them as well. But we just have to hope for the best. There’s nothing we can do.”

“And that’s the problem,” Jace mumbled. “There’s always something we can do and yet…”

“We’re powerless here,” Isabelle finished for him. “We just have to focus on ourselves. We need to keep strong, keep an eye on opportunities to escape.”

Jace tore a piece of croissant and put it in his mouth. He chewed, more out of anger than the willingness to eat.  
\-----  
Magnus barely slept. Every time he drifted off to sleep nightmares would wake him up not an hour later or so. But at least it seemed like Alec was sleeping okay. He didn’t flail or spasm in his sleep, neither did he mumble.

Night dragged on like that and it seemed to last forever. But he’d rather have it drag on forever than the lights turning on and Remy disturbing the little peace they had at the moment. But obviously that wasn’t going to happen. And so, when the lights flickered on, he groaned.

Alec stirred, pulling the covers over his head. He didn’t want to wake up and face the reality of his situation. It was bad enough as it is, he didn’t want to go through another day of torture. He just wanted to sleep forever and never wake up again, or at least, not until he got out of here. Not until he and Magnus and Isabelle and Jace were safe.

A few seconds later, the door opened. Alec didn’t make a move to get out from under the covers. Remy stepped inside. “Good morning lads,” he said, sounding too cheerful.

Magnus eyed Remy carefully. He hadn’t aged, obviously. Everything was still the same. His eyes held the same cruel glint. “What time is it?”

“It’s 6:45am,” Remy answered, looking at Magnus. “Bright and early for a good start of the day.”

Magnus rolled his eyes and laid back down. “Not interested,” he said.

“Ah,” Remy shrugged. “You don’t have to be. You’re on my playground now and you play by my rules, Magnus. Or it’s going to get a lot worse. So wake up, get out of bed.”

Both stayed put. Remy sighed, strode over, stripped the covers from Alec’s body and dragged the shadowhunter out of bed. Alec’s hands were forced together above his head, chains wrapped around them. A hook was lowered from the ceiling and his wrists were hooked on them, then the chains were pulled up so Alec had to stand on his toes.

“That’s one,” Remy said, tapping Alec’s face. He turned to Magnus. “Now get out of bed,” he growled.

Alec kicked out, managing a good kick to Remy’s side. He managed another kick, and another, until Remy caught his foot and held it. He turned to Alec and smirked. “Oh, you think you can do that?” A sickening crack resounded through the room. Alec cried out, pulling his leg back but Remy kept holding on to it. Remy twisted the now broken ankle, forcing another cry out of Alec, before he let go. He unlocked one of Alec’s wrists, broke it as well before chaining it back up.

“Again,” Remy said, turning to Magnus. “Get. Out. Of. Bed.”

Magnus swallowed. He looked at Alec, who looked so defeated. He got out of bed and Remy walked over, wrapped a piece of rope around his wrists and tied them together. Magnus was dragged towards the door. 

“Wait,” Magnus was panicking. He didn’t want to leave Alec behind. “Where are you taking me?”

Remy chuckled and dragged Magnus along, out of the room. “Somewhere,” he answered. 

Magnus was shoved into another room, door closing behind him. He blinked, confused by the sudden change.

“Magnus!” Isabelle said and rushed over, Jace right at her heels. “Are you okay?” she asked as she quickly untied Magnus’s hands. 

“I’m fine,” Magnus answered. He rubbed his wrists. “What about you two?”

“We’re fine,” Jace said. “What about Alec?”

Magnus looked down. They all sat down at the table. “I don’t know,” he admitted. He sighed and leaned back in his chair. “We were allowed to sleep in a bed, at a cost, I guess. But then the lights flickered on, he was dragged out of bed and chained up. But Alec fought back and got his ankle broken. Then I was dragged away.”

Isabelle patted his back. “He’s going to get through this,” she said. “He’s strong.” Though she was worried. A broken ankle wasn’t going to be easy on her brother.

Magnus nodded. “What about you two? You two seem to have been treated right,” he noted. He gladly dug in. Which reminded him that Alec hadn’t eaten anything, or drunk anything, in quite a while. At least since he left the apartment yesterday morning, Magnus figured. It worried him.

“Yeah, we got food, a shower.” Jace looked at Magnus. “You two haven’t gotten any food?”

Magnus shook his head. “No, not even something to drink, nothing.”

Isabelle frowned. “That’s not good,” she said, worried for her brother. He needed to at least drink some water to keep up some strength.

“I know,” Magnus said. He pinched the bridge of his nose.

Silence reigned as they ate. Magnus mulled over their possibilities. There wasn’t much they could do. They could try to overpower Remy, but Magnus knew better. Remy would expect it and be prepared for it. He was meticulous, a very good planner. So he’d likely planned for anything. Which didn’t make it any easier on them to get out of here. It worried him. And the longer they stayed here, the worse Alec was going to get.

The familiar sound of the door opening had them on edge. “Ah, all having a nice get together breakfast,” Remy said. “Magnus, time to go. Unless you’d rather stay here, of course. I’ll lend you a television so you can watch.” He laughed.

Magnus swallowed. He looked at Jace and Isabelle before getting up. ‘I’m sorry’ he mouthed. Isabelle nodded and he was glad about that as he walked towards Remy. His hands were tied together once more and he was pushed out of the door, Remy closing it and locking it with a snap of his fingers.

He was walked back to the other room, where Alec was now seated on his knees. He looked exhausted and weak, he wasn’t even tied up or tied down. He just sat there, didn’t even look up, focused on some spot on the ground. It hurt to see his husband like that. He wished he could take it all away. Magnus noticed a light sheen of sweat covering Alec’s forehead. He couldn’t imagine the pain Alec was in, seated on the ground with a broken ankle and a broken wrist.

Forced down into the chair and buckled to it with chains and cuffs had him rolling his eyes. This was getting real old real fast.

“Right,” Remy said, rubbing his hands together. He walked over to Alec. “Let’s play a little mind game,” he said.

Alec tensed the moment Remy’s hands placed on the sides of his head. “Relax your mind shadowhunter,” Remy said.

_Alec suddenly was standing over someone, holding a bloody knife in his hand. He looked down at the person beneath him, and to his realisation it was Magnus, eyes closed, blood staining his shirt._

_“No,” Alec said, knife dropping down onto the ground. He sunk to his knees, shaking Magnus. “Wake up,” he said, tears streaming down his face. “Wake up, come on.”_

_But there was no movement. Then, all of a sudden, the scene changed. He was holding the knife again, but it was clean. Magnus stood in front of him, talking about something he didn’t quite catch. Then, suddenly, the knife he held was driven forward straight into Magnus’s chest. Alec’s eyes widened in horror at the same time that Magnus’s did, before his husband collapsed._

_“No no no,” he said, panicking. “I didn’t mean this I…” He knelt down besides Magnus and shook him. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry…”_

_And then the scene changed again. A candle-light dinner, a knife in his hand. With a quick motion, the knife made its way thrown into Magnus’s chest. Alec rushed over but he was dead._

“No no no,” Alec mumbled as Remy’s hands glowed blue with magic, pressed against the side of Magnus’s head.

“Remy, stop it!” Magnus called, watching Alec. These kind of mind games were new to Magnus. He knew Remy liked playing tricks, but he could imagine what Remy was showing his husband. It wasn’t pretty and Magnus didn’t want that to happen, to watch Alec being driven mad like that.

Remy laughed and stopped, moving away. Alec immediately opened his eyes and turned his head until his eyes landed on Magnus. He let out a sigh of relief, realising it wasn’t real. The other warlock walked over to Magnus, hands now sparking blue.

Magnus narrowed his eyes. “Don’t do this,” he said. “Let them go, they don’t deserve this. I’ll stay here and do whatever you’d like, but let them go.”

“Your desperation is sickening,” Remy said, looking at Magnus. “Really. You weren’t like that when we had a fling.”

“I came right off Asmodeus,” Magnus growled. “It wasn’t a good time for me,” he said. 

“Don’t be so dramatic,” Remy said. “You enjoyed our time together.”

Magnus looked away, forcing himself to stay quiet, stay calm. His hands formed into fists and he wished he could take his magic for a spin with Remy.

Remy chuckled and bent down. He grabbed Magnus’s face, turned it to him, and kissed him. Magnus sat stunned, eyes wide, until Remy pulled back. “You want some mind tricks too?”

“That’s not wha-“

Remy put his hands to Magnus’s head as they sparked blue. Magnus closed his eyes.

_Alec was laying on the ground. Magnus knelt down and checked for a pulse. Feeling he hadn’t any, he shook his head. His hands glowed blue as he tried to heal Alec, tried to get him to take a breath again. But he burned through all his magic and it was simply no use._

_The scene suddenly changed. Isabelle was looking at him with such disgust. He frowned, then looked down at the ground. He paled. “Alec!” he called._

_Alec laid dead on the ground._

_“Go away,” Isabelle said._

_“What…” Magnus mumbled, realising what he’d done. “Oh no…”_

Remy laughed at Magnus’s mumbling. He knew exactly what Magnus was seeing. He looked towards Alec, who was looking weak and upset. He chuckled and moved away from Magnus, the warlock waking up and hastily looking towards Alec. He was relieved to see Alec was okay. As far as okay in such a situation could be okay.

“I do quite like these games,” Remy said. He walked over to Alec. “Now get up.”

Alec swallowed. He slowly forced himself to get up, trying not to put too much pressure on his broken ankle or his wrist. He almost fell over but managed to stop himself.

“Good boy,” Remy said. He kissed Alec briefly before pulling back. “Now get back down on your knees,” he ordered.

Alec took a deep breath and slowly sunk down onto the ground. He lost his balance and fell face first into the ground.

Remy laughed, and kicked him hard in his chest. “Such a weakling. Oh Magnus, I can’t imagine you married him. I can’t imagine fucking him is that good,” he said. He snapped his fingers and a cuff appeared on Alec’s broken ankle, connected to a chain which was connected to the ground.

“I’ll be back lovelies. Stay put.” Remy left the room.

Magnus looked at Alec. He fought against his chains, trying to get himself free. But it was no use. Alec just laid there, totally defeated. Didn’t even look up, just closed his eyes and curled into fetal position. 

Time passed. Suddenly, after what seemed like hours, the door opened. To Magnus’s surprise, it wasn’t Remy entering. It was Isabelle and Jace.

“Isabelle!” Magnus called.

“Shhh,” Isabelle said, looking around. She went over to Magnus while Jace went over to Alec. They both had their stele’s and used the unlock rune on the chains. Magnus got up and rubbed his wrists. He then rushed over to Alec together with Isabelle.

“Don’t touch me,” Alec growled, shrugging off Jace’s hand. He pulled his knees up to his chest, not wanting them to see him naked. 

“Alec,” Isabelle said softly. “Let us help you.”

“No,” Alec said.

Magnus tried his magic, and to his surprise, it was back. He snapped his fingers and Alec was dressed. It was something simple but it was something. 

“The three of you, get out of here,” Magnus said as he made a portal. 

“No!” Remy growled, the portal disappearing. “You little brats,” he growled.

Magnus laughed. “Come on then,” he said.

Remy shot a fire ball at Magnus, and another.

Magnus deflected them. He glanced at Alec, Jace and Isabelle and nodded towards the door. He distracted Remy, getting him away from the door with a few fire balls. 

“You really think you can take me on?” Remy asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Easily,” Magnus said confidently. He shot another fireball. 

Remy deflected and shot one back. “Laughable,” he said. He created a whip out of his magic and lashed out, the end curling around Magnus’s wrist. 

Magnus grabbed it and pulled on it, Remy stumbling forward. Magnus shot three fire balls in quick succession, all hitting Remy. Magnus stepped forward and wrapped Remy in with his magic, Remy’s hands forced behind his back against his body. 

“You’ll be dealt with,” he said as he knocked the other warlock unconscious. He created a portal and sent Remy through it, right to the cells of the Institute. He then went to find the other three.

When he found them, they were outside, resting against the side of the factory. Isabelle and Jace were standing, mumbling to themselves. Alec was seated on the ground, looking like he was in a whole lot of pain.

“Hey,” Magnus said as he caught up to them.

“Where’s Remy?” Jace asked.

“In the cells of the Institute.” Magnus knelt down next to Alec and gently laid a hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t,” Alec said, shrugging the hand off. “Stop touching me.”

“Alexander…” Magnus was hurt. He knew Alec was hurting and had gone through another round of traumatic experiences. But Alec had never turned him down like that.

Alec shook his head. “Just… Don’t,” he whispered. He held his broken wrist and grimaced. 

“Alec, let me activate your iratze,” Jace said, looking worried.

“It’s not going to help,” Alec said, refusing. He just sat there, staring hard at the ground as if it could swallow him up. He wished it would. It would just swallow him up in darkness and keep him safe.

Magnus created a portal as he got up. “Let’s go,” he said.

Alec got up slowly, and stepped through the portal, followed by Jace and Isabelle. Magnus followed after them, and they appeared right in the Institute. Shadowhunters rushed to them and helped them.

Alec waved them all away and stumbled on, followed by Magnus. He found himself a room, closed the door before Magnus could come in, and locked it. He slumped down the door and sat there, closing his eyes and just breathing.

Magnus was worried. He had never seen Alec like this. Sure, Alec could push him away at times when the going got tough, but not like this. He decided to let him be for now, and went away to see where he could help.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I pulled an all nighter so this is probably crap. My grandfather almost died and now is in a comatose so I'm terrified and angry and upset and shaking.
> 
> But have some fluff. I felt better after writing this.

After the entire Institute had been reassured they were fine, and Magnus had helped clean up, he went back to find Alec. He was worried for his husband. He hadn’t come out of the room he’d holed himself into. He knew Alec was going through a lot, but he just wanted his husband to know that he’d always be there for him.

Magnus knocked on the door softly.

“Come in,” sounded from behind the door.

Magnus opened the door and stepped inside. He closed the door and leaned against it, eyes focusing on Alec. His husband sat on the ground, back against the bed, t-shirt off. 

“Are you okay?” Magnus asked, keeping his distance.

Alec looked up. He shook his head. “No,” he said. “But I will be, eventually. It’s just going to take some time.”

Magnus nodded and came a little closer. He sat down in front of Alec. “Have you healed yourself?”

Alec twirled a stele between his fingers. “Partially, anyway. The breaks are pretty much healed,” he explained. “The rest…” He gestured at himself, the bruises that were dark against his skin. “It will take time.”

Magnus hated seeing the bruises. Those on Alec’s throat must be painful. He looked down. “Did he do anything to you when I wasn’t there?”

“Where were you?” Alec asked, deflecting the question with another.

“I was with Isabelle and Jace. They had breakfast,” Magnus explained.

Alec grimaced, a shiver running down his spine. “Well, at least you got to eat and drink something proper,” he said.

“How do you mean?” Magnus asked.

Alec shook his head. “I don’t want to talk about it. Just… when you were gone, some stuff went down and it wasn’t pretty.”

Magnus nodded, deciding not to push on. If Alec was ready to tell him, he would. “You’re going to be okay, Alexander. It’s going to take time. And I’m going to be here for you. Always. In any way you want me to be there for you.” 

Alec smiled at that. He moved into Magnus’s arms and let himself relax against his husband’s chest. He closed his eyes and they stayed like that. Alec liked this, for a moment, everything was peaceful.

“Let’s get you something to eat,” Magnus said softly. “I’m sure you haven’t and you really need to.”

Alec sighed but nodded. He let himself be helped up by his husband. “Lets go out. I don’t really want to be here,” he said.

“That’s fine,” Magnus said.

Alec got dressed, then took Magnus’s hand and let himself be guided through the Institute and out of it. He took a deep breath of fresh New York air and followed after Magnus. 

They found themselves a quiet little restaurant and sat down for dinner. Alec wasn’t really hungry, didn’t feel like eating. The thought of it made him nauseous. But he knew he had to. He hadn’t eaten in 24 hours in the least, if not more. And Magnus would make him eat. He ordered the same as Magnus and when the food came just picked it apart on his plate, occasionally taking a small bite.

“Alexander,” Magnus said, putting his fork down. “Maybe you should go see a therapist.”

Alec paled for a moment, frozen for a few seconds before he hastily pushed a forkful of food into his mouth. He chewed and pretended he hadn’t heard. Of course he’d entertained that possibility, but he didn’t want to talk to some mundane therapist about what happened to him. And as far as he was aware, shadowhunters didn’t really have a sort of therapist. He could go to the City of Bones for treatment, but, well, if he was evaluated and they turned him down, his life as a shadowhunter was over. 

“I know it’s hard. I’ll be there with you if you-“

“No,” Alec said. He swallowed, pushing his plate away. “I can’t. I’ll do this on my own. And I’ll ask you for help when I need it.”

Magnus looked at him with sympathetic eyes. If only he could take it all away. But he knew this was going to be a long process, even for him. He’d have to be patient and help Alec through it. They could, together.

“Okay,” he said, nodding. “Just promise me you’ll talk to me when you need to.”

“I promise,” Alec said. He leaned back in his chair and noticed, for the first time, that Magnus wasn’t wearing wakeup, and nothing fancy. He seemed almost… mundane. Almost, except for the blue glow in his hair. He didn’t know he could love his husband even more, but here he was, admiring the beauty sitting in front of him.

“Is there something on my face?” Magnus asked.

“No,” Alec said. He chuckled. “I’m just admiring you. You’re gorgeous, Magnus. And I love you for it.”

Magnus blushed, red rising to his cheeks. 

“My, Magnus, I do believe you’re blushing,” Alec said, sounding cheerful. 

“I am,” Magnus admitted. He took a sip from his wine. “Thank you.”

“There is no need to thank me,” Alec said simply. He watched his husband finish his dinner and his wine. They paid for the dinner and left, arm in arm. 

They walked in silence. Alec felt that Magnus was buzzing with questions, wanting to know what exactly happened to him when he was alone with Remy. And Alec wished he could answer those questions, but it was painful to even think about it. It was even painful to walk arm in arm with his husband. His skin crawled, hands ghosted over his skin in places they shouldn’t. It made him want to throw up, but he kept himself calm, reminded himself that Magnus was never going to hurt him. 

Alec stopped in his tracks. Magnus stopped as well and turned to Alec, curious but worried.

“Magnus, I…” Alec looked down, pressing the nail of his thumb between the finger and thumb skin of his other hand. He swallowed.

“Alexander, it’s okay,” Magnus said. “Don’t do or say something that makes you uncomfortable. I trust you.”

Alec looked up at Magnus and smiled gratefully. They continued on their way to their apartment. Once there, Alec looked around. It felt like home, and yet it didn’t. “I’m going to take a shower,” he said. He longed to take a shower and wash off all of the disgusting feelings.

“Okay,” Magnus said.

“Come shower with me,” Alec said, not meeting Magnus’s eyes.

Magnus looked at Alec. “It makes you uncomfortable,” he said.

“It does,” Alec admitted, looking up. “But I still want to shower with you. Please.”

“Okay,” Magnus said. 

They went to the bathroom. Magnus closed the door and turned the shower on. He started undressing. Alec did as well, until he was down to his underwear. He frowned, fingers hooked in the waistband of his boxers. His heart raced and he looked down, trying to find the courage to shove them down.

“It’s okay,” Magnus said. “Come here.” He stepped under the shower, also wearing his underwear still. He reached his hands out, and Alec stepped under the shower with him. He closed his eyes and let the warm water over his body relax him, leaning into Magnus.

Magnus smiled, gently holding his husband. He was glad to feel him relax, instead of being so tense every time.

Magnus took the shampoo bottle and squirted some in his hands. He put the bottle back and started washing Alec’s hair. It was matted together, so it took quite some gentle combing and tugging to get it all out and normal again. Then he moved his soapy hands gently down to Alec’s shoulders, over his arms. He was careful to gauge Alec’s body language, not wanting to frighten him or make him uncomfortable. 

Alec felt a shiver run down his spine at Magnus’s warm hands down his arms and his chest. For a moment he felt so at peace, until those hands ran too low and he stepped away.

“Sorry,” Magnus immediately apologised. 

“It’s okay,” Alec said. He turned to Magnus and stepped back into his arms. “Continue, please.”

Magnus nodded, giving him a comforting smile as he went back to what he was doing. He saw Alec enjoying it, and was glad about that. Once Alec’s body was lathered in soap he washed it off. 

Alec returned the favour, squirting shampoo in his hands and lathering Magnus’s hair. After they were done, Magnus turned the shower off and handed Alec a towel. He dried himself off and let Alec go into their bedroom first to get changed. When Alec gave the go-ahead, Magnus came in and changed as well.

“Thank you,” Alec said.

Magnus shook his head. “There’s no thanking me,” he said.

Alec chuckled. “I think the Angel every single day that I got to marry you,” he said. He sat down on the bed and patted the space beside him. Magnus gratefully joined him.

“Ask away,” Alec said.

Magnus looked at him for a moment. He looked down. “What did he do to you when I was with Isabelle and Jace?”

Alec sighed and looked down as well. He clenched his jaw and thought several long, hard minutes thinking of what he wanted to say, how to explain to Magnus what had happened without Magnus storming off to the Institute to personally kill Remy.

“When he came back,” Alec started, “he offered me something to drink. He shoved a tube down my throat connected to a funnel and…”

“I’m murdering him,” Magnus said, making a move to get out of bed. But he was stopped by Alec’s hand.

“Don’t,” Alec said. “It’s no use. It happened. That’s not all, either.”

Magnus looked at Alec, anger boiling up inside of him. He wanted to portal himself right to the Institute, get down to the cells and murder Remy with his bare hands. But Alec stopped him from doing that, kept him grounded and sane.

“He uhm…” Alec rolled his eyes and sighed. “He had some fun with me too. And he played these mind games with me when you weren’t there. And when you came back in, I thought, for a moment, you were a doll, or a hallucination. But you were real, and that kept me grounded.”

Magnus took Alec’s hands and squeezed them gently. “I’m sorry,” he apologised.

“Don’t,” Alec said. “Don’t pity me, please. I don’t need that. What happened, happened. He will be dealt with and I’ll become better. And I’ll take my time to work through it.”

Magnus nodded and smiled. “You’re so brave, Alexander. I admire your strength, your passion, your love. I admire everything about you. You continue to surprise me and I can’t just… I love you so much,” he said.

Alec blushed and looked down. “The same goes for you,” he said, looking up at Magnus. “I love everything about you.”

Magnus placed his hand on Alec’s cheek and nodded. “We’re going to be okay,” he said.

Alec nodded and cuddled into Magnus’s arms. He closed his eyes as he was being held. He hadn’t told Magnus everything. He would, at some point. Just… not now. He’d let it be for now, wait until he was feeling better, could talk about it better. For now, Magnus knew most of it. He was too ashamed to admit anything else that happened. He turned to Magnus and saw his husband was asleep. He hoped Magnus wouldn’t have nightmares too bad. He really felt guilty for causing Magnus enough trouble to have nightmares. It was bad he had his own, Magnus didn’t deserve them. So Alec would do anything in his power to make sure Magnus could sleep peacefully.

Alec laid down and closed his eyes. He couldn’t really sleep though, not for a while anyway. So he was intent on just listening to Magnus’s heart beat in his chest. It was so peaceful, so calm. He smiled and looked at Magnus’s peaceful face. He laid his head down on Magnus’s chest and closed his eyes. Slowly, Alec drifted off into sleep.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So guys, just out of pure curiousity, mortal!Alec or immortal!Alec?
> 
> Also yes, it's been a while since I posted. Hopefully back to a more regular schedule.

Alec didn't sleep much. The sun made his eyes flutter open, hand coming up shield his face from the bright light coming through the window. He groaned, rolling away from the light and onto the empty spot of Magnus. He removed his hand and frowned, wondering where his husband had gone of to. He wasn't used to waking up to an empty bad. He despised it, even. It wasn't something for him.

He sighed and swung his legs out of bed. Sitting up, he got used to the bright sunlight and took a look around the room. It had that familiar golden glow about it. It made him smile. But then he remembered Magnus not being present and he frowned, concerned.

The shadowhunter got up. He stretched out his limbs, looking cat-like as he did, before moving himself across the room to the door. He didn't bother checking his appearance first in the bathroom. He wanted to know where Magnus was. That was his top priority this early in the morning.

He quickly found the warlock standing on the balcony. Alec frowned, approaching. His footsteps were silent, carrying the grace he had because he was a shadowhunter.

Magnus heard him approach. He held a steaming mug of hot coffee and turned around, looking at Alec. He chuckled. Alec's hair was tousled and pointing at all directions. But he looked tired too, dark shadows under his eyes. The bruises had faded mostly. Only the most severe, like the one around his throat, was still visible. A golden and blue and green mark against gorgeous soft skin. Anger boiled up inside momentarily, but he let it pass. The responsible person was in a cell and would never walk the Earth's plane freely again.

“Morning,” Alec said, gently prying the mug of coffee from Magnus's hands and taking a sip. He sighed, watching the sun slowly rise into the sky. It was chilly so early in the morning, and he shivered a little. “What got you awake so early?”

“Many things,” Magnus mused, turning with Alec to watch the sunrise. “Didn’t sleep that much, nightmares.” He shrugged.

“Magnus,” Alec said, looking at his husband. “What did you dream about?”

“Something unpleasant.” The warlock shrugged once more. It was clear that he was in no mood to talk about his nightmare.

Alec gave him another glance, but dropped the subject. He was in no mood to deal with a moody warlock. “Okay,” he said finally.

Silence stretched on between them. Alec handed Magnus his coffee mug back and headed inside. He got changed in the bedroom, giving his face a quick wash and his hair a quick combing, before appearing in the living room. Magnus had sat down, and Alec joined him.

“You know, when Remy played mind tricks on me, I saw you die, over and over again,” Magnus mumbled, staring into the distance. 

“I know,” Alec said. “He showed me similar images.” They had been nothing short of unpleasant. Seeing Magnus die by his own hand was a nightmare he never wanted to see again. But it hadn't been the worst he'd seen, not by far. When Magnus had been away for a bit, Remy had showed him even more horrifying images. Images that were burned to the backs of his eyelids, and burned into his skin. As if he could see and feel it happening every time he closed his eyes.

Magnus shivered. Once more the overwhelming urge to hurt Remy flooded through his veins. But he took a deep breath and calmed down. 

“Did you dream about that?” Alec asked.

“Yeah,” Magnus said. He looked down, a shiver running down his spine. The image of Alec dying by his hand was something he would never forget, even if it wasn't real. It seemed so real anyway. It made goosebumps raise up along his arms.

“It’s okay,” Alec said, moving over and sitting down beside him. He wiped away Magnus's tears, which the warlock wasn't even conscious of that he had been shedding those. He blinked, and looked at his husband.

“You’re so perfect,” Magnus whispered. “So strong. You're dealing with this so well and here I am, as if I'm the victim.”

“Stop it,” Alec said. “What happened to you is not okay. It's traumatic.”

“By far le-“

Alec shook his head. “Everyone deals with their traumas differently. You have every right to be upset and to need time to deal with this.” Alec looked at his husband and gently placed a hand on his cheek. “We’re going to get through this, okay? Together.”

Magnus could hit himself. Once more Alec showed just how strong he was. What his husband had gone through was nothing short of horrifying and yet here he was, being comforting and gentle. His rock. His light in the darkness. As if Alec could carry both them and their traumas with ease. A proper leader. He wiped his tears, almost embarrassed that he had been crying while he should be strong for his husband.

“Thank you,” Magnus said.

Alec shook his head. “Magnus, just tell me whenever something is wrong. I love you, don't carry these burdens on your own.”

The silence afterwards was a little awkward but light. Alec was worried for his husband, but trusted him to tell him whenever something was wrong. He knew Magnus was going through a tough time too. They both needed some time to recover from what had happened. And in time they would.

Magnus's phone rang. He sighed, stood up and went to the balcony to retrieve it. He got there just in time to answer the call.

“Magnus Bane,” he said.

“It’s me,” Izzy said. “We would like for you to come down to the Institute. Remy seems keen on wanting to see you and be interrogated by you.”

Magnus glanced over towards Alec, who was looking at him curiously. He turned away.

“I don't know,” he said, sounding uncertain. “I am not so keen on seeing him.”

“I know,” Izzy said. “Just… Please? We want to get at least some answers from him.”

“Sure,” Magnus said after a minute or two. “I’ll be there in 30.”

“Thank you!” Izzy ended the call.

Magnus turned back to Alec as he pocketed the mobile phone. He walked back towards the living room. “I’ll be going out for a bit,” he said.

“You’re going to the Institute,” Alec noted, looking at Magnus. “I’m coming with you.”

Magnus hesitated. He knew there was no stopping Alec from coming along, but he had flashbacks to the last time the two of them went to interrogate someone. A shiver ran down his spine, his husband had almost died then. It wasn't a prospect he wanted to face again. But the shadowhunter seemed to have his mind set on coming with him. He nodded.

They gathered what they needed and left together. Magnus chose to walk over to the Institute to keep himself distracted. He really didn't want to face Remy, not for questioning. Remy was a mastermind, and even if he couldn't use his magic, Remy would find a way to creep under Magnus's skin and into his head. 

“What’s bothering you?” Alec asked, looking at Magnus.

“I’m just not keen on seeing him,” Magnus munbled. He looked down at the tiles they were walking on while walking through the city. “He is clever. He knows me well.”

Alec took Magnus's hand and squeezed it gently. “You’re going to be okay,” he said, sounding so certain.

Magnus shrugged. He wasn't so sure, but he didn't want to have an entire debate or pep talk while they were walking. He just kept himself quiet, letting his mind focus on mundane things. A girl holding a stuffed bear, a business man getting himself a cab, shops bustling with activity. The smell of fish and fried food drifting through his nose. Every day life went on. And yet Magnus felt stuck in the past, trying to repress the memories he had of Remy.

The Institute slowly loomed up ahead of them. Alec seemed quite happy to be there as he went inside, followed by Magnus. He greeted his friends, fellow shadowhunters. They were obviously worried about him, but Alec insisted he was fine. And he looked the part, too. A little thin still, perhaps. But once he's gained a bit of weight, he would look as healthy and as strong as he'd ever been.

Magnus didn't get as much attention. Somehow, after all these years, Downworlders were still a little taboo and many shadowhunters tried to avoid interacting with them.

Except one.

“Everything okay? You look a little pale.”

Magnus turned around and let his eyes fall on Underhill. He nodded. “Yeah,” he said. “Just a little tired. It's been a few difficult days.”

Underhill nodded. “So I've heard,” he said. “I hope you and your husband are holding up okay.”

“We are,” Magnus said. He spotted Izzy. “Got to go.” He left as discreetly as possible, feeling Underhill's eyes burning holes in his jacket. “Hey Isabelle,” he greeted.

Isabelle smiled at Magnus and gave him a quick hug. “Thank you for coming,” she said as Alec joined them. She gave Alec a quick hug too. “Let’s go.”

They followed her down to the cells. Magnus was fumbling with the end of a sleeve of his jacket. It was clear that he was nervous and not looking forward to this. But he forced himself to take a deep breath and do this for them. After all, Izzy and Jace had saved them. And he was thankful for that.

Jace was in the cell with Remy, but Remy just laughed, grinned, and otherwise was quiet. He didn't say a word, until his eyes landed on Magnus.

“Magnus!” he called cheerfully. “Please come in.”

Magnus shuddered. He stepped into the cell and Jace left. They closed the door. Magnus leaned against it, looking at Remy. “So let me just ask the obvious question: Why take Alec, and Isabelle, and Jace, just to get to me? You could have sent me a message and I would have come.”

Remy shrugged. “I wanted to meet your husband and get to know your shadowhunter friends a little bit,” he said. “Play a little.”

Magnus rolled his eyes. “Why not let them go when I showed up?”

“Because, Magnus, you had to realise how weak your new friends are! Shadowhunters, really? Even marrying one? You are a disgrace to the warlocks, to all of them.” Remy looked at Magnus, confident and uncaring.

Magnus laughed. “Weak? My husband survived and is as strong as ever.” He was proud of that. Alec was doing so well considering what had gone down the past few weeks. And Magnus only loved Alec even more for it. It seemed impossible just how much Magnus loved his husband, as if he could explode any time now if he filled with more love.

This, however, really seemed to agitate Remy, as he looked sideways to Alec with full of disgust. Alec flashed him a bright smile and for a moment Remy struggled against the chains that held him in place and kept him from using his magic. He calmed himself down and turned to Magnus.

“Well, congrats on that. Just know the warlock community hates you. And quite a few shadowhunters do as well,” Remy said. “If you're not careful, they may keep coming after you. You can't hide forever and you can't be strong forever.” He shrugged, for as much as that was possible in the chains.

Magnus felt nauseous. He looked at Remy. “Well, have fun being locked away for the rest of your life. I'll just enjoy my freedom, thank you.”

He turned and left, exiting the cell. Jace closed it behind him and locked it. Magnus was feeling uneasy, worried, terrified even. To know that there were actually people out there hating him, and Alec, for reuniting the Clave and the Downworlders, it made him want to disappear with Alec forever. Find some abandoned island and build up their life there. But he knew that wasn't realistic. Alec wouldn't do that. He'd rather stay and face whatever dangers were out there then find a safe space and hide away for the rest of his life. And Magnus would never force his husband to come with him.

He blinked as a hand was waved in front of him.

“Magnus?” Alec looked at his husband, worried. “Are you okay?”

Magnus sighed. “Let’s just go home,” he said.

Alec took a step back. “I wanna stay here for a bit. File in some reports and stuff.”

Magnus stared at him, long and hard, before he shrugged. “Sure.” And without further word, left.

Alec stood there, watching Magnus leave. He frowned, wondering if he had said something wrong. He hadn't meant to upset Magnus. He turned to Izzy and Jace, who looked just as perplexed.

“Lets just leave him alone, for now,” Alec said. He sighed, and followed his sister and parabatai back up to the Insitute.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Did anyone read any of the books? Because I just finished the first six and damn my heart. Poor Simon. ;-;
> 
> Another question then for you: If you did read the books, what did you like better? Series or books? And what was your favourite moment?
> 
> For those that didn't, what was your favourite malec moment in the series?

Alec’s eyes scanned the words on the papers in front of him. They were supposed to mean something to him, but as his eyes raked over the paper again and again, nothing seemed comprehensible at all to him. And that was because his mind kept wandering to his husband, who had just left without saying where he was going. Not that it was necessarily Alec’s business of knowing where Magnus went, but it would have been nice. Magnus seemed upset when he left, especially when Alec said he wanted to stay for a bit. It rubbed him wrong, and now he was worried that he had done something wrong.

He told himself to focus. He looked back over the papers and continued filling in reports. It wasn’t easy filling in reports about Thomas or Remy, considering traumatic memories trying to break free and overwhelm him. But with regular breathing exercises he was doing quite well, he believed. But it didn’t take his mind off Magnus.

Sighing, Alec took his phone and checked for messages. But there were none. He sent a quick text to Magnus, asking if he was okay and where he was. He locked his phone again and looked back down at the papers. It was hard not to blame himself for everything that had happened to him, to them. He did feel guilty for everything even if it hadn’t necessarily been his fault.

And now Magnus had been confronted by a ghost of his past. Alec knew how much Magnus disliked it to talk about his past. He had a long one, being so old. Alec never pressured, and had trusted Magnus to tell him about things when necessary. To see his husband react to seeing Remy like that hurt. It broke his heart.

He didn’t know what had transpired between Magnus and Remy before, but it was bad. He sighed, dropping the pen and leaning back in the chair. He stared up at the ceiling and wondered if they were ever going to be okay again. For now it felt impossible. There had been a distance between them ever since Thomas showed up in their lives and Alec worried that they were never going to be as close to each other as they had been.

“Hey, are you crying?” Izzy said, as she stepped into the office where Alec had been working.

Alec froze for a brief moment, before hastily wiping away the tears. He hadn’t even realised that he had been crying.

“I’m fine,” he mumbled, hiding his face from Izzy.

Izzy sighed, sitting down on the edge of the desk and looking at her brother. She knew times were tough right now, but she had all the faith in him and Magnus. She took his hand and held it gently in her lap.

“It’s okay, Alec,” Izzy said, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. “It’s going to be okay, even if it’s going to take a while.”

“I know,” Alec mumbled, looking up at his sister.

He admired her. She was head of the New York Institute and she had been running it so well. It made him proud of her. She’d come a long way, had faced great troubles. They all had. And they all had turned out okay. But seeing her run the Institute, he couldn’t be more proud of her than he ever had been.

“Thank you,” Alec said. He took a deep breath and willed the rest of the tears away. 

“Go home,” Izzy said, letting go of Alec’s hand. She slid off the desk and helped him up. “Go and find Magnus, and be together. And take all the time you need.” 

Alec smiled at her. He gave her a quick hug, before he took his phone and left the Institute. Once outside, he checked his phone for any new messages, but he hadn’t received any. He frowned, and decided to dial Magnus’s number.

Nothing.

He decided to call again, but once more, Magnus didn’t pick up. The shadowhunter sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Then his phone rang.

He looked at the screen and frowned. He answered the call. “Maia,” he said.

“Alec,” Maia said, sounding both cheerful and worried. “Have you been calling Magnus?”

“Yeah,” Alec admitted. “Why?”

“Well, he’s been downing quite the few drinks here. And even though he has a high tolerance, he’s getting quite drunk now,” she explained, sounding amused. “You should come pick him up before he can’t walk straight.”

“I’m on my way,” Alec said and ended the call. Of course Magnus would have gone drinking. It was one of his go-to’s in tough times. Alec had accidentally also picked up the habit, but he tried not to. Downing alcohol wasn’t a good way to deal with things, he knew.

Alec crossed the street and headed into the city. The rain started to pour down and he cursed himself for not having an umbrella. He should really remember to check the weather reports before they went out and take an umbrella with them if rain was forecasted. 

He hurried along until he was in front of the door. He took a deep breath and opened it, stepping inside. Water was dripping from his hair and his eyelashes. He was soaked to the bone, and shivering slightly as well.

“Alexander!” Magnus’s voice boomed through the bar. The warlock approached for a hug, but rethought that idea the moment he saw how wet Alec was. “Oh my, you got caught in the rain huh,” he said and smiled brightly. “Come have a drink with me.”

Alec ducked his head and walked him over to the bar. He sat down on one of the stools besides Magnus and nodded at Maia, who poured him a drink.

“Magnus,” Alec said, taking his wet coat off. “What are you doing here?”

“Just having a drink,” he said cheerfully. His words were slurred slightly as he downed another drink. 

“You’re having more than just a drink,” Alec said, raising an eyebrow. He took a sip from his glass and looked at Magnus. The warlock looked tired, dark circles under his eyes.

Magnus shrugged. “I haaaave a hiiiiigh toleraaance,” he slurred, signalling for Maia. She poured him another drink and glanced at Alec, who just shook his head.

“Right,” Alec said, letting Magnus down the drink. He downed his own and pulled his jacket back on. “Let’s go home,” he said. 

Magnus pouted at Alec. “But I’m having so much fuuuuuuuun,” he whined.

Alec took Magnus’s hand, with the other slapped some dollar bills on the counter, which Maia took. “Come,” he said. 

Magnus followed along, wobbly on his feet. Alec helped him with an arm around the waist, Magnus leaning on Alec heavily. They made their way through the busy streets, Magnus now getting soaked as well. Alec was glad when they finally arrived back at their apartment, entering the warmth of the living room. Alec helped Magnus to the couch and let him slide down onto it. He sighed, immediately discarding his own wet clothing. Once down to his underwear, he started helping Magnus.

“If you wanted me to undress, Alexander, you could have just asked,” Magnus said, snapping his fingers. Suddenly they were both naked, and lips were on Alec’s.

Alec gulped and pulled back. “Magnus,” he mumbled, scooting a little bit back. “Let’s get you under the shower and warmed up. You’re shivering.” 

Magnus rolled his eyes. “You’re such a tease, Alexander,” Magnus mumbled, getting up. “Whoah,” he said as the world spun. Alec helped him towards the bathroom and into the shower. Magnus pulled him under it with him.

Alec looked at Magnus, observed him. “Magnus, you can talk to me if something is wrong,” he said, placing his hands on Magnus’s waist. 

Magnus buried his face into the crook of Alec’s neck, breathing him in. He closed his eyes and sighed, leaning against his husband. “I don’t want to,” he said. “You have enough on your mind as it is.”

“But whatever is bothering you, bothers me too,” Alec said. “Even if I don’t know what it is. I don’t know how to help you.”

Magnus looked up at Alec, taking in the worried expression on his face. “I just…” He took a step back and let the warm water glide off his body. He turned away. “Remy showing up and hurting you…” He shook his head.

“Everything is okay now,” Alec said.

“It’s not,” Magnus said, turning back. “You know it isn’t. You’re having so many traumatic experiences now. And I’m having to deal with a ghost of my past that I never wanted to see again.”

Alec shook his head. “Magnus, as long as we have each other, we’re going to make it through,” he said. “Because there has been nothing that has been able to keep us apart. Yeah, we need time. We need to take it slow, but we’re together. And that is all that matters, Magnus. You’re my husband.”

Magnus felt his tears mix with the water of the shower. He closed his eyes, feeling a hand being placed on his cheek. He leaned into it and sniffled. “How can you be so strong?”

“You’re strong,” Alec said. “You’re so strong, Magnus. You’ve gone through so much more than I have, and I am so lucky to have you as my husband.”

Magnus scooted into Alec’s arms and cried against his chest. Alec wrapped his arms around Magnus and held the shaking warlock, letting him cry. This just needed to get out of their systems and they’d be okay. Because they had each other. And as long as they had each other, they were going to be okay.

Magnus’s cries slowly died down, his body calming down. He still leaned heavily against Alec, listening to his heartbeat. He smiled faintly. He pulled away and looked up at Alec. “I love you,” he said.

Alec smiled and kissed his husband. “I love you too,” he said in between sweet and gentle kisses. “More than ever, and forever and always.”

They finished their shower. Alec dried himself off and got himself dressed. He was feeling better now, warmer and he wasn’t shivering. It seemed that Magnus was feeling a little better as well, a little more sober as well. 

“Let’s order dinner,” Magnus proposed.

“You read my mind,” Alec said. They went to the living room and ordered dinner. Alec sat down and crossed his legs. They waited for dinner to arrive. 

Magnus took it once it arrived. They ate in a peaceful silence. Alec snuck an occasional glance at Magnus, to make sure that he was okay. After they were done, Alec cleaned up the mess and sat back down.

“Remy was one of my firsts,” Magnus said after a while. He leaned back and stared ahead of him. “He was cruel then. Not always to me, but he would bring people, especially mundanes, back with him. He loved torturing them. I helped him. I came right off Asmodeus.”

Alec looked at Magnus and placed a hand on his. He squeezed it gently.

“We did some horrible things,” Magnus admitted, looking down. “And then, when I heard his voice over the phone, my stomach dropped. I imagined all the things that he had ever done to mundanes and thought of you. Knowing you were in his grasp…” He shook his head. 

“Magnus,” Alec said softly. “I’m sorry.”

Magnus shook his head. “There is nothing to apologise for,” he said. “I just… I hope he hasn’t done anything to you.”

Alec swallowed and this time it was his turn to look down. He took a deep breath, held it for a moment, before he let it go. “Before you came, he had us for several hours. Jace and Izzy had been unconscious, so he had decided to go right ahead and play a little game,” he mumbled. “I guess I never knew drowning, and yet not drowning, could be so terrifying. Or that electricity was a thing people did to each other, used on each other.”

“Alexander…” Magnus stared at his husband, feeling anger flare up once more. “I’m going to murder him.” 

“No,” Alec said, looking at Magnus. “He’s in the hands of the Clave now and he’ll be dealt with,” he said.

Magnus nodded. He sighed. “I’m going to go to bed,” he said.

Alec stood up and followed after Magnus. They crawled into bed together and cuddled up to each other. He stayed awake until he was certain that Magnus was asleep. Then he closed his eyes and fell asleep as well.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be the last and the story will come to an end. Don't fret, though. I have several WIPs planned out so I'm sure a new story will appear soon after. Next week I'll hold a poll for some of them to see what you guys may like best.
> 
> Also, I started reading The Infernal Devices. I already finished Clockwork Angel and started on Clockwork Prince. I really adore Jem. Will reminds me too much of Jace. And we get some Magnus background. 👌
> 
> Anyway, stay tuned! Hope you guys enjoy this chapter!

Days passed by in good moods then. They ate breakfast together, went out together, and picked up their lives right where they had left it off. They talked when they needed to talk, or gave each other space. But the days were good. Alec was getting over his traumas slowly but surely. And at the end of the week, he went back to work again.

It had given Magnus a lot of anxiety when Alec had told him about it. But with some reassurance from Izzy and Jace that everything was going to be okay, he had allowed it. But still. Magnus was scared. It had taken Jace and Izzy a lot of convincing for Magnus to allow Alec to go. Magnus was especially worried for Alec's mindset. He just hoped that if something happened that bothered Alec he would say it to him.

Magnus waved his husband bye as he left for the Institute. Remy had been sent to Idris for further questioning and to be locked up for the rest of his life. Magnus hoped that Remy would be put to death as well. It would give him a better peace of mind if that happened. That way, Remy would definitely never come back into his life. 

A shiver ran down his spine. Thinking of Remy had him on edge. He knew Alec was safe at the Institute and that Jace and Izzy would watch over him. But he still had a bad feeling in his gut, and watching Alec go made him anxious. He didn't want a repeat of what happened last time, so Alec had agreed to text him every two hours or so and to be picked up at the end of the day.

With a sigh, he turned away and seated himself on the couch. He considered taking up some simple jobs again to get him through the days. After all, he was popular. And he was certain that when he opened his job list again, people would be paying high prices.

The day itself passed by in a sort of blur. He took some jobs, some simple ward placements, and wrote them down in his planner along with the price. He did a small job for a friend of his, before Alec finally texted him that he was ready to go home. The warlock smiled and portaled himself over to the Institute.

As it happened to be, Alec was talking to Underhill. The shadowhunter had a relationship with Lorenzo. Magnus heard all about it more often than he wanted. In more details than he wanted as well. Lorenzo quite liked boasting about it. And well, Magnus let him. Better have him boasting about that than complaining. But his jealousy had long since gone, and he smiled, watching Alec happily chat away with Underhill.

“You okay?” Izzy asked, coming to stand beside Magnus. She crossed her arms over her chest. She had matured a lot over the past couple of years, and shown herself to be a proper leader of the Institute. They had all been so proud when Izzy had taken the job. She deserved it.

“Yeah,” Magnus said. He smiled and turned to Izzy. “You?”

Izzy smiled brightly up at him. “I’m good. Glad to see you and Alec doing better.”

Magnus nodded, turning back to watch Alec. “He seems in much better spirits nowadays. I admire his strenght and resilience.”

“We all do,” Izzy said. “He’s been through so much, and always comes out stronger. But you're strong as well, Magnus. There's no reason to doubt yourself."

Magnus thought about that. It was definitely true. Alec had never been weak, but with each experience he matured and grew stronger. It was admirable, how Alec held himself, even through something as traumatic as what Thomas and Remy had put him through. Magnus would never be as strong as that, he thought to himself, even as he smiled slightly at Izzy's comment. He didn't think of himself as strong as Alec. But he knew Izzy was right about him as well.

“You’re having nightmares still?” Izzy asked.

The warlock shrugged. “I do. But it's okay.”

“What about Alec?”

Magnus shook his head. “As far as I know he hasn't had them. He's slep tthrough each night quietly and wakes up in the morning cheerful, after some cuddles. He definitely needs his morning cuddles.”

Izzy laughed at that. “I never imagined him like that. But he beams the moment you're in the room, or someone mentions you. There is no more perfect couple than the two of you.”

“I disagree,” Magnus chuckled. “You and Simon seem to do very well. And even Jace and Clary. Ever since Clary started to remember again Jace has been even more inseperable than he already was from her.”

“Can’t blame him,” Izzy said, a sad tint to her voice. “He wasn't with her for a year. And then when she saw him and remembered him in the alley, well.” She shrugged and smiled. “I’m happy for them, truly.”

Magnus nodded in agreement. He saw Alec approach from the corner of his eye and he smiled, turning to greet his husband. “Good evening,” he said.

“Hey,” Alec said, giving Magnus a quick kiss. “You two haven't been gossiping about me have you?”

“We wouldn't dare!” Isabelle said, sounding accused.

Alec chuckled and smiled at his sister. “I can tell it when you're faking,” he said. “Shall we go home?” he asked, turning back to Magnus.

Magnus nodded, holding his hand out to Alec, who took it. “Bye Isabelle,” Magnus said, waving. The two of them left the Institute and headed down the streets towards their apartment. It felt good to walk hand in hand with his husband, a favourite past time of his. The sun was already setting, reminding Magnus of the night's chill. 

Alec shook his head. “No,” he answered. “Why, are you?"

“Maybe," Magnus said, wiggling his eyebrows at him.

Alec laughed at that. And it was Heaven to Magnus's ears. To hear his husband so cheerful and happy again made him feel bright inside. Alec's laugh was a sound he treasured and would never forget. A sound he definitely would need to record at some point, because Alec would grow older and pass away some time in the future. He did already notice Alec's mortality aging him slowly. But it didn't bother him, and it didn't seem to bother Alec either. For now.

“You okay?” Alec asked, nudging Magnus's side gentle. “I know that look, when you get all distant. You're thinking about the future.”

Magnus stopped and tugged Alec against him, arms coming around his waist. “I just love you, Alexander Gideon Lightwood-Bane. And I thought that we should start recording moments. Especially your laugh and your smile. My memory is good but in time they fade sometimes as well. I never want the memories of you to fade away.”

Alec looked at his husband. He placed a hand to Magnus's cheek and smiled. “Then we'll record any moment you'd like,” he said. He leaned in and captured Magnus's lips, eyes immediately fluttering shut. Feeling Magnus against him was the best feeling in the world. They fit perfectly, and Alec knew that would never change. They were destined for each other, had always been.

Magnus pulled away and smiled. “Lets go,” he said, gently tugging Alec along.

Once more they walked hand in hand. Their futures were bright. Lights turned on as they walked, taking their time to enjoy each other's company. They finally reached their apartments.

Magnus hung up his coat and toed his shoes off. He stretched out across the couch and looked at Alec, his husband busying around the kitchen to get himself some food. Alec had finally gained some weight, and he was looking good now. All the injuries had healed, though his back would always carry the cruel scars of the past. Alec had asked him to take a photo of it, which he had. He had stared long and hard at it, before shrugging. But Magnus knew it slightly bothered Alec. So he did everything he could to remind Alec of how handsome he was. Alec seemed to appreciate that.

The warlock was pulled from his thoughts when Alec planted himself onto Magnus's lap. Magnus smiled, hands coming up to rest on Alec's thighs as Alec propped his mouth full of dinner. 

“Don’t stare at me while I'm eating,” Alec mumbled with a full mouth.

“Don't talk with your mouth full,” Magnus said, smiling. He looked away then, resting his head on the arm of the couch and staring up at the ceiling.

Alec moved in Magnus's lap. The warlock groaned, and tightened his grip on Alec's thighs. “If you're gonna sit on me, please sit still.”

“Why?” Alec said, putting the plate down and wiggling his hips. “I think you quite enjoy it, by the feel of it.”

Magnus tensed, and gently sat up, moving Alec off of his lap and onto the couch. He did like it, sure. But Alec's traumas were still fresh and he was in no hurry to trigger his husband. And perhaps he himself needed some time still as well. It hadn't been easy physically watching Alec go through what he had been. Hell, he even helped Remy, by force, do it. 

Alec frowned and took Magnus's hand. “It’s okay if you don't want it,” he said, noticing how tense Magnus was. He worried for his husband, he did.

“Yeah,” Magnus said, and looked at Alec. “I think we should wait. Your traumas are still fresh.”

“If you're worried about me, you don't have to be.” Alec smiled, looking confident. He was. He'd definitely grown more confident again the past week.

Magnus was quiet. He looked at Alec, then smiled. “Just… Not tonight.” He got up and stretched out. “I’m going to take a shower,” he said, and left.

Alec took the plate and stood up. He washed it and set it out to dry, before heading over to their bedroom. He stripped down to his underwear and crawled into bed, propping his pillow up against the headboard so he could sit against it. 

Magnus appeared from the shower and looked at Alec. He crawled into bed with his husband, steam still coming off his body from the hot water. “I love you,” Magnus said.

Alec smiled, turning his attention to Magnus. The warlock looked tired still, with dark circles still visible under his eyes. He knew Magnus had nightmares still, even if he didn't want to talk about it. “I love you too,” he said, and kissed Magnus's lips briefly before drawing back. He slid down and laid down on his side beside Magnus. “I love you, forever. Until the day I die, and even then I will continue to love you.”

A smile played on Magnus's lips. He cuddled up to Alec and laid his head on his shoulder. “Our love is for eternity,” he said, and closed his eyes. An arm wrapped around him and Magnus listened to the steady heartbeat of his husband. It was one of his favourite sounds in the whole world, a sound he hoped to hear for a very long time. It slowly lulled him into a light slumber.

Alec stayed still, so his husband could sleep. He didn't feel tired really. He hadn't done a lot at the Institute, Izzg wouldn't let him out into the field. He could understand though, and he was fine with it. He wanted to take it slow and easy, work up to field missions. It sounded dumb perhaps.

Slowly, his eyes drooped shut and Alec found himself asleep as well, a small smile on his lips. They were going to be okay.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys like the end!! Please let me know. In the mean time, I'd thought of giving you a choice of prompts of stories I've been plotting out. Whatever you like best, do please tell me. I plan to write them all at some point, but perhaps you'll have a prompt you'll like best. They're found at the bottom of the story, since they didn't fit in tbe chapter summary. 🙄

Alec felt the subtle tickle of butterfly light kisses against his skin. It roused him from his slumber, and through his closed eyelids he knew that the sun had started to rise into the sky. A small smile tugged on his lips as the lips that planted kisses moved up his throat, to his own lips. The moment they placed on his, Alec sucked in a breath, hands tugging Magnus on top of him.

“So you are awake,” Magnus mumbled in between kisses. Not that he had had a doubt, of course.

“You woke me,” Alec responded, opening his eyes now. He looked up at his husband, golden skin flawless, lips a little swolen, eyes full of adoration. And lust. There was definitely lust in them. “What got you awake this early?” His voice was hoarse. Though he knew. And he must admit, it was a pleasant way of waking up. They should do this more often.

“I had a really nice dream,” Magnus explained. “And then I woke up and I just had to pursue that dream for a little longer.” 

Alec chuckled, pulling Magnus back down and kissing him, eyes fluttering shut. His hand played at the hairs on Magnus's neck. He couldn't complain about that. He'd even had a similar dream it seemed, today on their wedding anniversay. They had a busy day ahead though.

Magnus's hands smoothed themselves down a finely muscled chest. Finger tips brushed over black runes that littered Alec's skin. The marks of a shadowhunter. Magnus still could not quite believe that he had married one.

Their kisses turned more eager, Alec's hand moving from Magnus's neck down to his underwear, and dipping below the waistband. It forced a moan out of his husband, which he eagerly swallowed down with more kisses. He'd gained his confidence back the past year. And he was glad to say that everything was back to the way it used to be. Every day was a good day. Their marriage was as strong as ever. Alec bad gone back to working at the Institute while Magnus busied himself with jobs for downworlders and shadowhunters alike. He earned quite some money with it too, each day was luxurious. They had recently redecorated their apartment as well. Alec had gotten a bath! And damn did he like taking baths. Especially if Magnus joined in as well.

“Eager you are,” Magnus chuckled, disentangling himself from Alec. He shoved his boxers down and kicked them away, before he pulled at Alec's underwear.

“I think you're speaking of yourself,” Alec said, a little breathlessly. His heart was hammering in his chest as he too shoved the fabric down and kicked them aside. Sure, Magnus could snap his fingers and they'd be naked in an instant, but Alec had admitted he liked undressing the mundane way.

They were sweating, hair sticking to their heads and necks. Alec graciously flipped himself over onto his stomach and moved his knees under him. Magnus dove in, kissing Alec's thighs, leaving a nice red mark here and there to soft skin. Alec was always so perfect for him. And he loved to reward his husband for it often.

The click of a bottle opening had Alec relax, as he turned his head slightly. He caught some of the movements as the warlock worked to pour transparent gel onto his fingers. Seconds later, one pressed against the tight ring of muscles and Alec took a deep breath. Upon letting it go, Magnus's fingertip breached past the muscles and dipped in, Alec emitting a low groan. Magnus was always so gentle with him at first. And Alec could appreciate that.

A second finger joined the first and Alec pushed back. Magnus chuckled. “Patience, Alexander,” he said, placing a soft kiss just below Alec's spine.

“You woke me up for this,” Alec said. “Better make it worth my while.”

Magnus hummed and curled his fingers, finding that one sweet spot within Alec that he knew would have his husband practically begging. He found it with practised and skilled ease.

Alec emitted a sinful moan and shuddered. Magnus knew him too well, and had him writhing in minutes. “Magnus, please,” he said, pushing back on the two fingers working inside of me.

“Please what, Alexander?” Magnus asked. “Say what you want.”

“Fuck me,” Alec gasped out.

“As was my plan.” 

The fingers retreated and Alec felt empty. He whined, impatient that it was taking his husband so long. In reality it was only mere seconds, but in that moment, it felt as if ages passed. Then the head of Magnus's cock pushed in and Alec buried his face into the crumpled pillows below as he let out the loudest moan he could muster. Magnus wasn't far behind in volume, emitting a groan of pleasure as he sunk himself all the way into his husband, hands gripping onto hips and finger tips digging in.

“Move,” Alec breathed in seconds. “Please, Magnus.”

The warlock obliged happily, pulling halfway out before thrusting back in. Alec shivered in pleasure beneath him. It was a most beautiful sight so early in the morning, with golden light spilling into the bedroom through the window. The scene could be painted by one of those famous painters and hung in a museum.

He set his pace slow and steady, taking in the white whip marks on Alec's back. The scars stood out against the shadowhunter's skin and would never fade more than they had by now. A shiver ran down his spine at the memory of how Alec got them, and for a moment Magnus had to remind himself that that had been a year ago. They were fine now, even if those memories still seemed so fresh to him.

Alec pushed back, making Magnus pick up the pace. “Magnus,” he moaned. Magnus chuckled and dug in his finger tips as he sped up, always happy to please his husband in any which way he could.

The shadowhunter had felt Magnus stutter just that fraction of a second but he had known why, so now he needed to distract his husband. Because there was no way that memories of the past were going to get in the way of mind blowing morning sex that they were having right now. Alec wouldn't stand for it, ever.

A hand wrapped around his leaking member and it took all the willpower Alec had to not collapse onto the bed right there and then and have a mind shattering orgasm. Magnus knew this, of course, and was gentle and slow in his ministrations, to Alec's great displeasure. But he didn't mind, secretly. The longer this lasted the better to him. It has been quite a while since it had been this good. They were making it up for the past year.

“You good?” Magnus asked, biting down onto his bottom lip. He was so close, and yet he refused to let this be cut so short.

“You know I am,” Alec gritted out, voice hoarse with pleasure. “God Magnus,” he whispered.

“Well I am no god,” Magnus admitted with a chuckle. “But I guess I come close.”

They both laughed at that. It was moments like these that had Alec falling in love even more with Magnus. If that was even possible. His heart was bursting with love for his husband.

Alec was on the edge, and starting to get quite desperate. Magnus smiled, watching his husband thrust back on him. It was a gorgeous sight, one he would never forget. He didn't even have to work for it now, Alec was doing it all.

“Come for me then,” Magnus said, and heard the familiar moan as Alec did just that. Magnus thrusted harder, chasing his own high until he too, came, eyes fluttering shut and hips stuttering until they stilled.

Both breathed hard, their hearts beating wild in their chests. It has been so long. Magnus was the first to come down from his high and moved away from Alec briefly. He went into the bathroom, got a towel, made it wet, and returned to Alec, who now lay slumped on stained covers. He got Alec to turn onto his back and Magnus wiped him down gently, the shadowhunter still breathing hard. 

Alec cracked open an eye and looked at Magnus, a disheveled gorgeous warlock who was wiping him down. The best husband he could wish for. He closed his eye and felt himself drift into a light slumber, not bothered by sticky sweat and the covers beneath.

Magnus let him doze off for a bit. He showered, did his hair and makeup, got dressed and left for a bit to get them breakfast. When he returned, Alec was in the kitchen, freshly showered and smelling of soap. Alec smiled lazily at Magnus and made grabby hands at the bag he was holding. Magnus chuckled and handed him his coffee, taking the other cup for himself. He took a sip, the coffee awakening his body and clearing his mind of the mid sex morning fog that had taken over.

They ate their breakfast. Magnus had gotten them pancakes and croissants, freshly made orange juice as well. Fond memories popped up before Alec's eyes and he smiled at that. They had made habit out of whoever woke up first made breakfast. Or bought breakfast. 

“So,” Alec said. “What do we need to do still for tonight?”

“Not much,” Magnus said. “Mostly just getting dressed and show up.”

Alec grinned at that, finishing his coffee. He slid off his tool and walked over to Magnus. “Then we can go for another round? No?”  
\-----  
Magnus finished Alec's bowtie and smiled. They stood in front of the mirror, looking gorgeous in their tuxes. They had been planning this evening for quite a few months, and now it was here. The doorbell rang and Magnus left Alec to open the door.

Alec looked at himself in the mirror. He was aging, he noticed. He was still young, but he saw the way he was getting older as well. His face was more set, more defined now. His eyes a little harsher and colder than they had used to be. He smiled at himself, eyes brightening up. He looked good, he admitted to himself. The past year bad been difficult for him and Magnus. And still, Thomas and Remy entered his mind unwanted on occassion. But he had learned of ways to deal with it. The only thing still bothering him on occassion were the scars across his back.

But it didn't matter now. It was their wedding anniversary and they were set on celebrating it with family and friends this year. They had picked a nice restaurant in London and had made a big reservation. With Magnus earning as much as he did, they could easily pay all the expenses.

A knock on his door had him turn around. Alec smiled as his eyes landed on his mother. He approached and hugged her, before taking a step back. “You look good,” he said.

“Thank you,” Maryse said and smiled brightly. “So do you. Though you did look a little distant there.”

Alec shrugged. “I was just thinking of how amazing this evening was going to be.”

Maryse nodded, and together they walked into the living room. Alec was greeted by the rest of his family and friends. Jace and Clary, Izzy and Simon, Max, his father couldn't make it, regretably. Luke was there as well, Raphael too.

“All ready to go?” Magnus asked.

With a mutual agreement, Magnus created the portal. Everyone stepped through, Magnus and Alec were the last two. The portal closed behind them as they appeared in London. Magnus smiled. He had lived here once, when Ragnor Fell had been High Warlock of London. He had fond and not so fond memories.

The sun was already setting here. Magnus guided them to the restaurant. A waiter took Magnus's name and showed them to their reserved spot and they all took their seats. Magnus simply relished in watching his guests chatter. He looked at Alec, who was engaged in a conversation with his mother. He smiled.

Alec had been doing so well and Magnus was proud. When the news had come kf Remy's execution date just a few days before this, Magnus had feared a backfall of Alec. But he had been strong and they had both been there. It has been one of Magnus's lovers, after all. And Alec wanted to close that chapter of his life for good. Watching Remy die had been unpleasant and the mood had been grim that evening. But the day after, they continued on happily.

The evening stretched on as they ate and drank. Suddenly, Alec got up and drew the attention of the group.

“I’m glad we're all here,” Alec said, as he held his drink in hand. “A year ago, we celebrated our wedding anniversary with just ourselves. Some things had gone down then and we needed some private time. But here we are now, and I must admit that with each day I fall in love with Magnus just a little bit more. And I'm glad to have all of you here to celebrate with me!”

He raised his glass, then took a sip, and sat back down again. Magnus chuckled as they all took a sip of their glass.

A little later they portaled back home. After everyone had left, Magnus and Alec were alone again. Alec was getting ready for bed while Magnus was already snuggled under the blankets. Alec joined him, and turned onto his side, looking at his husband. “I love you,” he said.

Magnus smiled and kissed him. “I love you too,” he said. “Today was wonderful.”

“It truly was,” Alec agreed. “It couldn't have been any better.”

Magnus turned onto his back and looked up at the ceiling. No, it couldn't have been any better indeed. He smiled at that, and looked at his husband. But Alec was already asleep, and Magnus couldn't blame him. The day had been quite exhausting for him, especially that morning. Magnus gently pulled Alec against him and held him as the shadowhunter slept on silently. He closed his eyes, and felt himself drift off slowly as well, the day's events happily replaying in his mind.

\-----

Writing prompts:  
1\. A. Alec sees the light before Clary does, and follows it to Clary's room. Jocelyn appears, and is surprised to find Alec there, not her daughter. She explains the situation, setting Alec up for a difficult conversation with Clary. He strikes a deal with Jocelyn, that in the event that Clary does use her rune power to make a new one, they take away her ability, but not be as harsh on her. This goes awry at the wedding, when Alec notices the runes slowly disappearing from his skin. After a vetr brief goodbye, but a well thought-out written letter to Magnus and his family, Alec leaves the Institute as the last rune disappears from his skin. A year later we discover Alec working in a local Starbucks, and Magnus dropping by every single day for the same order. Alec thinks Magnus must be married, even if the man always flirts with him. Alec writes little notes on the cup each day, and Magnus is determined to have his husband remember everything and get him back.   
B. Or, a year later we discover Alec working at a local Starbucks. Magnus always comes in to check in on him, but he's glamoured and he knows Alec can't see him. Until Alec does, and stares, and Magnus looks behind him but sees nothing. Alec excuses himself to his coworkers and approaches him to which Magnus walks outside and ducks into an alley, unnerved. Alec calls for him and Magnus turns around, to which their story might start   
2\. Alec is an underage stripper in a small but very popular joint. Magnus is his boss, and took him when the boy had been dropped off at his place. Together with Jace, Isabelle and Clary, he forms a team of strippers that are well sought after. Magnus denies he has feelings for Alec. Clary and Jace are a thing. And Isabelle quite likes the nerdy guy that visits the place every week. She believes his name is Simon, and she ought to call him some time.  
3\. Magnus is enjoying his married life to Alec. He spends most days relaxing in their apartment. Alec is visiting the New York Institute for a day. When Magnus gets a call from his father, everything falls apart. Hurriedly getting from Alicante to the New York Institute, he's given a choice. He can kill his beloved husband and save the Institute from being burned down. Or he won't, and the Institute, its shadowhunters and New York City will burn. Alec tells him it's okay, and to do it. To which Magnus wonders if he should, and what would happen if he does. Asmodeus has a nice little throne in one of the demon realms he rules for his son and plans on taking him and keeping him.


End file.
